On the king's command

Rating Bard's attractiveness

The fire crackled loudly and broke the magical atmosphere. Thranduil stirred in his chair, casting his long hair over his shoulder and shifting to look at Bard. The man had been sitting dumbfounded the whole time, not being able to form any coherent thoughts. His mind was constantly spinning around the last few sentences the elven king had uttered. You enchanted me. Yes, I find you attractive. He must have heard it all wrong. It couldn't be real. 

"Do you enjoy your stay, Bard, king of Dale?", Thranduil now asked in a low voice, calm and mesmerizing, but not in an inappropriate way. Simply nice. 

"Oh, yes, I do", Bard stammered. "I must say I enjoy it very much."

"Then I am glad", the elf king answered. "I would hate it if you'd rather return home."

They sat quiet for some minutes, only listening to the crackling fire and the other's breathing. Then finally, Bard spoke.

"Did you mean it?"

"What?", questioned the elf. 

"What you said earlier", Bard made clear. "About finding me attractive."

Thranduil chuckled. 

"You liked that, didn't you?", he teased. "Why should I mislead you? You are very attractive, king of Dale, and if you do not believe it, I will procede to convince you."

"Oh you will?", Bard smiled. "And how are you going to do that, if I may ask?"

Before the man could even take another breath, he was jerked up from his chair and slammed against the wall next to the fireplace. The next second, his lips were caught in a passionate, fierce kiss by the elven king. He pinned him against the wall by holding his wrists in a tight grip and simultaneously pressing his leg in between Bard's knees. The man shuddered and if Thranduil hadn't held him so firmly, his knees would probably have given way and he would have fallen pathetically to the ground. 

As fast as it had begun, it ended. Just a second ago, Bard had felt the hot lips of the elven king on his, his strong grip on his wrists and especially the knee between his legs. But then the elf was gone again and Bard shuddered from the sudden cold that hit him. Only now did he notice that he had had his eyes closed, and as he opened them again, Thranduil was sitting in his armchair nonchalantly, playing around with his hair. Bard took a few deep breaths to steady himself, then he stumbled into his own chair again.

"Are all of you elves so skittish or is it just you?", the man asked, leaning his exhausted self into the chair. "Because it is quiet exhausting for mere mortal beings like us men."

"I just like to have the power in my own hands", Thranduil answered with a smirk. "That's why my kingdom is far greater than yours."

"What are we supposed to do when we only live for a century? Not everybody is immortal and can rule his own kingdom for thousands of years. I don't even know how old you are!", Bard replied.

"Ha, you wouldn't want to know that!", the elf remarked. "Otherwise it might probably influence your opinion about my hotness."

Bard almost choked at hearing Thranduil utter the word "hotness" and had to cover it with a cough. 

"Um, well, keep your secrets then", he mumbled.

"So, did I convince you?", Thranduil asked all of a sudden. He was certainly eager to control the way this conversation took.  The elf king simply was a man of great power and he loved it.

"Sorry?", Bard asked.

"You seem to get distracted very easily", the elven king chuckled. "I am referring to our recent conversation regarding your own attractiveness."

"Oh that", Bard murmured. "It's hard to stay concentrated while someone kisses the hell out of you."

Now Thranduil himself looked slightly stunned. But then his smile only grew wider.

"You men are so easy to distract", he smiled. "But now answer my question!"

He had taken on his demand voice again and Bard was unable to object. 

"Well, I must say you did a good job of making me believe I'm at least a bit likeable", the man joked. "For me, that is, I couldn't think straight for a moment."

Thranduil laughed out loud. 

"I don't think you ever have very straight thoughts in your head, my dear Bard!", he remarked, which made a slight pink creep onto Bard's cheeks. Luckily the room was rather dim lit and the elf wouldn't notice. "Now, I wish you to go away. I have to sleep."

With this abrupt reply, Thranduil ended this evening's conversation.