Xiao X Reader [A Fragment of My Memories]

[35] A Mortal's Resolve

"Zhongli... what does karmic debt actually do to someone? Is it just painful?"

"The pain one feels is only a part of it. If you succumb to it..." he pauses, furrowing his brows as he looks you in the eye. "You will lose yourself to insanity."

Your breath hitched. "Is there... any way to get rid of it?" 

Zhongli does not answer for a while. Instead, he looks out the window, spotting Guyun Stone Forest far off in the distance. "I don't know just how much of it you have. If you're lucky, Dr. Baizhu's medicine should be enough for it to dissipate," he says. "However... if you have too much, I fear that even his medicine wouldn't be enough to save you." 

"So if there's too much of it... there's really nothing I can do?" 

Zhongli gives you a reassuring smile. "You're a human. It's more likely that you don't have a lot. And even if you do, I believe your strong will can endure."

You shook your head. "But how about Xiao? Does he have so much karma that there's nothing we can do?" 

Zhongli's eyes widened, watching as you looked down at the bedsheets with clenched fists. He sighed. "You should be more worried about yourself, (Y/N)."

"Well... I am also worried about myself, of course!"

He gazed out the window again with furrowed brows. "Unfortunately, there is no medicine that can dissipate the sheer amount of karma that Xiao has," he says. "The most we can do is ease some of the pain... which I believe is something you've done more than enough of." He glances at you from the corner of his eye. 

You looked out the window as well. 'But is it enough to ease all his pain...?' 

______________________

"(Y/N), are you sure you should be up and about like this?" asked Huai'an as you left your room for the first time in weeks. 

You flashed him an apologetic smile. "Sorry to worry you and Boss for so long! Thankfully, Dr. Baizhu said I've recovered enough to walk around, at least!"

He sighed in relief. "Ah, that's good! Do you still have any of those uh... headaches?" 

"Uh..." you averted your eyes for a bit. "I still get them a little, but it's more bearable now!" 

"That's good!" Huai'an smiles back. "Don't push yourself too hard, alright?" 

You nodded as you gave him a short bow. And as he walked away, you kept your eyes on him, waiting until he was out of sight. 

When he was finally gone, you rushed up the staircase to the roof. By the time you reached the top, you were already panting in exhaustion. It seems like your stamina isn't back yet.  

You took a deep breath, wiping the cold sweat off your forehead. 

"Xiao...?" A gust of wind rushed toward you as you stepped onto the rooftop. You nearly staggered back from the force of it. It seems like your strength wasn't back yet, either. 

"Xiao? Are you there?" you called, louder this time. 

But there was no answer. 

"Is he not around...?" you mumbled, walking towards the railings and looking out into Dihua Marsh. But there was no sign of him there, either.

'Stop calling for me...'

"Xiao?! Where are you?" Turning around, you decided to take a look around the rooftop. "Xiao..." Your voice trailed off as you purse your lips. 

'Why must you still come here?' 

"Please, Xiao..." You looked up at the big, yellow tree, hoping he was up there, watching in silence. "I just want to see you..."