Dear Diary: Spy Confessional

Chapter 16: The Unseen Depths

Dear Diary,

During my training, Black Lotus told me that one of the biggest mistakes a spy can make is to rush into action without a plan. But I guess I wasn't listening to her. I found myself alone in the bustling city, surrounded by the constant sound of honking cars, screeching tires, and blaring music that reverberates through my body. The smell of sizzling street food and acrid exhaust fumes fills the air, making my stomach churn. The neon lights of shops and billboards flicker and dance in a rainbow of colors, casting moving shadows on the faces of the people rushing past me.

I can't return to the people who loved me. I have no friends here. I'm stranded, alone, and vulnerable. It doesn't help that I've become a criminal, wanted by the organization I betrayed before my first year was even up.

Among the noise, I heard police sirens wailing in the distance, gradually growing louder and closer until they were deafeningly loud. A fleet of ten police cars screeched to a halt beside me, and out of one stepped Black Lotus. I tried to escape, but they quickly caught up to me, and I was arrested, my heart pounding as the gawking eyes and whispers of the crowd bore down on me.

The investigation room was small and cramped, with peeling wallpaper and a flickering lamp casting eerie shadows on the walls. The air was thick with the smell of stale cigarette smoke and the musty odor of old books. Black Lotus stood before me, her eyes piercing and intense, as if they could see right through me. The silence was deafening, broken only by the soft hum of the lamp and the occasional creak of the floorboards.

My heart pounded in my chest as I struggled to find the words to explain myself, but they seemed to elude me. I felt trapped, like a mouse caught in a maze with no way out. Black Lotus's stare was unrelenting, and I could feel the sweat starting to bead on my forehead as the seconds ticked by.

It was as if time had stopped in that cramped room, with only the flickering lamp providing any semblance of movement. The silence was so complete that I could hear the sound of my breath echoing in my ears and the beat of my own heart reverberating through my chest.

At that moment, I felt more alone and vulnerable than ever before. All the noise and chaos of the city had faded away, leaving only the weight of my guilt and the suffocating presence of Black Lotus.

"You will be in detention for two weeks," Black Lotus said as she broke the silence.

"W-What?" I asked, still trying to process what she said.

"That's all I can do for you," she replied.

As she headed for the exit, for a split second, I saw a shimmer of humanity in her eyes, but it was soon replaced by her usual cold, dark expression.

Two weeks flew by quickly, although I was missing K. He hadn't visited me during my detention, which felt weird. As I walked down the corridors of the organization's headquarters, I felt like everyone was watching me like a hawk. Even the slightest breath could be judged.

"Maybe she is related to Black Lotus" some of the girls behind me whispered.

I wanted to respond to them so badly, but I decided against it.

I ran to the bathroom to get away from these toxic people who knew nothing about me and bumped straight into K. It was at that moment that I broke down. I couldn't utter a word, and as comforting as always, he hugged me without uttering a single word.

After a while, I quickly regained control of my emotions and felt embarrassed.

"I am sorry for everything," I said, blushing.

"It's okay; we all break down sometimes" Kevin replied, being the supportive guy he is.

"People will always judge you, but I will always be here to support you."

I couldn't help but smile, but then a couple of guys entered the bathroom. It was only then that I realized I was in the boys' bathroom! I quickly ran out of there in embarrassment, my face flushed.

Over the next few days, people were still spreading rumors about me, but as K said, ignore them. I was just walking about minding my business when Adira gave me a box, I don't interact with her (she was one of those people you don't talk to) so I wondered why she gave me the box. I tried to question her, but she has always been shy and quirky, according to what I heard. Anyway, I didn't think much of the box throughout the day.

When I finally got to my house, or, in other words, the house the agency provided for me, I suddenly remembered the box Adira gave me. I opened it, only to find out it was a recorder. I played it, and I can't explain the emotions I felt. It was a recording of Black Lotus saying these words.

"I only accepted her because she is my daughter, but she still has much to learn," said Black Lotus, "The truth is, she is just a pawn; I mean, we all are really."

I sat there in silence, letting the words sink in. I guess Tracy was right; I was just a pawn for the government's agenda, but then again, nothing in the world of espionage is ever as it seems. I mean, why did Adira give me the box? We have never really interacted. I guess I will confront Black Lotus when I get the chance, but what is stopping Black Lotus from lying to me when I confront her?