LAST CHRISTMAS I GAVE YOU MY HEART

Chapter 9: I am sorry!

Warning: Sensitive content.

The Theerapanyakun mansion is designed as a medieval chateau with a modern aura divided to different levels and wings overlooking Chao Phraya River. The outer levels house the home offices, conference rooms, meeting rooms, ball rooms, dining areas, studios, guest quarters, gyms, training areas, kitchens, libraries, hospital, care unit, entertainment areas and homes for associates and bodyguards. The central ball room opens up to an equally huge landscaped garden decorated with fountains, garden trellis, art deco styled medieval themed arches with natural and artificial water bodies. The inner levels were divided into wings where each member of the family resided. Each wing was equipped with its very own bedrooms, guest rooms, entertainment areas, study, office, gym, library, living rooms, terrace gardens, swimming pools and everything one requires. Each wing had a main entrance which if closed actually cuts itself off from the rest of the mansion.

Porsche stared as the cars rolled inside the mansion, it's actually larger than a freaking mansion, it's like a castle or fortress. Porsche had been to a few lavish mansions before where he served as a waiter in various parties, but none of them were as huge as this place. He felt more insignificant than before. The whole estate has been decked up and decorated with warm lights. An army of servants and butlers were waiting to welcome them.

The party walked in the ball room which was decorated with candlelit chandeliers, white flowers and orchids, the whole room was lit up in a light blue hue giving it a dreamy feeling. At the bar there was a huge champagne glass fountain and bottles of exquisite wines, whiskeys, rum, gin, and whatnots. Bartenders were serving cocktails and drinks flowed like rapids. Kinn's friends kept toasting him and pretty soon he got wasted. His friends, Vegas, Pete, and others were equally drunk and chirruping away only Kim seemed to be sober than the rest. It was way past midnight when the 'newly-weds' were pushed back to the north wing which was Kinn's residence. Kinn could barely stand and Porsche supported him. A few body guards led the way, Porsche new none of them. Pete, Arm, Pol and other bodyguards who were there before were presently M.I.A. Porsche felt lost and didn't know what to do. He gulped nervously as he supported an intoxicated Kinn to his bedroom. This bedroom was bigger than Porsche's house. Porsche looked around and supported Kinn towards the bed.

Suddenly Kinn grabbed his wrist and slid a hand across his waist holding him close and sniffed his neck below the ears. Porsche shivered and struggled to get out.

'Ta...tawa...aan' Kinn slurped

'No Khun Kinn it's me Porsche. Please let me go.' Porsche wanted to scream for the guards outside. But he didn't know how much of the narrative this people knew. Also, the guards were stationed at the entrance of the wing at the hallway far from the master bedroom, they won't be able to hear him through these thick walls. So basically no one was there, he was alone with Kinn.

Porsche tried to slip away but Kinn pulled him closer caging him.

'Why are you trying to run away? It's our wedding night.'

Now Porsche was starting to get scared. He had handled drunk customers before but then there were others to back him, here he is alone. Not to mention Kinn is a lot bigger, muscular and stronger than Porsche.

'Khun Kinn please. Look at me I am not Tawan. I am Porsche. I just work for you. Please let me go.'

Kinn looked up, he let go of Porsche's wrist but held him tighter at his waist while his other hand travelled up to his nape. Porsche struggled to push Kinn away.

'Of course, you are not Tawan.' Kinn continued in his inebriated state. 'He dumped me. Why?' Kinn was shaking Porsche. 'What have I done? Did I wrong him? He thinks all I think about is my business? Do you think I like it? Huh? All my life is all about responsibilities.' Kinn was screaming and shaking. His eyes were red.

'Calm down Khun Kinn. It's gonna be okay.' Consoling people wasn't Porsche's strength not to mention he was scared out of his wits.

'Calm? Haahaahaahaa.' Kinn seemed to have lost his mind. 'I have been calm all my life. See what it has got me today. I was always calm with Tawan, I wanted to build a life with him. I gave him everything. I wanted to be happy with him. It hurts to be so lonely.' Tears rolled down his cheeks.

'Tawan thinks I am a robot. Everyone thinks that I am emotionless. Even my father. They all think I am a machine bound to serve a purpose. I AM FUCKING HUMAN. IT HURTS. AAAHHHHHHH!!!'

He threw Porsche to bed and himself toppled over him. Porsche's wrists were locked in Kinn's hands and their faces were inches apart.

'Khun Kinn!' Porsche mumbled struggling with the last bit of strength he had.

Kinn looked at him, his eyes were out of focus and half closed. Suddenly Kinn smashed his lips on Porsche's. Porsche froze in fear and intensity of the sudden assault. Kinn was grinding his lips against Porsche's, biting his lower lip which split open and started to bleed. Porsche started to cry, less in pain more in desperation and humiliation. Kinn's tongue penetrated Porsche's mouth as he madly sucked his lips and tongue. Porsche struggled to breathe.

Just as suddenly the assault had begun it all stopped. Kinn had passed out.

Porsche push Kinn over and finally freed himself. His lip was bleeding, wrists were bruised, his back hurt when he fell. Porsche wiped his tears and pulled himself up from bed. He wanted to run away, run home, somewhere safe where he would feel protected. But unfortunately, such a place does not exist. Porsche has to protect his family, he had to take care of them. Presently he feels as if he had signed his own death warrant. No one can save him. He had to endure. Porsche told himself he will endure everything from tomorrow, keep fighting again. For now, he fell on to his knees crying and hugged himself at the foot of the couch. It was a long time, after which he slowly felt numb and slipped into a deep slumber from all the exhaustion and pain.

The next day as the warm sunlight flooded the room Kinn started to stir. He had a splitting headache he tried to open his eyes but failed. His head felt like a rock. He extended his hands to press the bell and realised he was still wearing his tuxedo. Kinn slowly raised his head but jolted up as he spotted something on the floor. Far away at the corner of the room Porsche was lying on the floor at the foot of the couch. Kinn bolted up and ran to the young guy.

He froze. He could see the cuts and bruises on Porsche. What have he done? Slowly last night's incidents were flooding back to him. He was ashamed and angry at himself. He had hurt the boy badly when Porsche had only tried to help him. He was just a kid. Kinn mentally slapped himself. He knew he could reproach himself later. Now he needs to help Porsche, take care of him. He himself can go and drown later.

Kinn picked up Porsche. Even in his sleep the little guy was hiccupping. He stared at Porsche's face, the thing that was threatening to burst out of his heart since he met Porsche clawed his insides. He slowly put Porsche down on his bed, removed his blazer, shoes and his accessories, got a tub of water and a few warm towels. Kinn placed one below Porsche's neck and dabbed another in water and slowly rubbed his face and hands. He could feel that Porsche ran a light fever. He cleaned the wounds and bruises and fed him some medicine. Finally, Kinn put some ointment on his lips and wrists, placed a fever patch on his forehead and covered the young one with a quilt. Soon he could see Porsche's breathing normalized and he was sleeping soundly.

'Rest well little one.' Kinn whispered in his ears, patted his head and left. 'I am sorry Porsche. I am so sorry. I promise I will make it up to you.'

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Some might consider the warning at the top unnecessary. Because nothing happened. But the truth is whenever anything is non-consensual it's considered an assault. Even an unwanted touch is considered as a violation of rights and privacy.

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