𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐄 | 18+

chapter sixteen- depression

hope you enjoy reading!

yeah, I'm sorry if this image didn't find you well.

love you, sexy!

<3

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ELEONORA

''I told you I'd find you, Peaches'' a voice way too familiar says from behind me. Oh shit.

''Y-your dead'' this can't be real.

''I felt lonely, Peaches'' He says kissing my ear.

Well, this is nostalgic. Except this time, he doesn't sound drunk.

''No, h-how?'' it's all just a dream.

''Do you want to know how I found you, Peaches?'' he says trailing his cold fingers along my exposed back.

''N-no, you're not real'' I say feeling my bottom lip wobbling.

 Pull yourself together this motherfucker has inflicted way too much pain towards you in a day than all the horny, rick jerks you've worked for, for years.  This isn't your first encounter with him, think of mom and dad.

''Too bad'' he says snaking his ice-cold arm around my waist while slipping four fingers into the hem of my shorts. He tugs at my shorts violently causing my entire body to twist, I force my eyes to stay shut ''Honey?'' say my mom's voice from somewhere behind him.

''Mom? Run, run away while you still have the chance, mama!'' I say glancing past his shoulder, trying to save my mother from the wrath of her husband.

''She's dead, just like me, how do you feel about the fact that I'll be alone with her again? The fact that I'm gonna to touch her without her consent, huh?'' he says making me automatically close my eyes.

''LOOK AT ME'' he yells. I turn my head to him and If looks could kill, I would be dead right now, just like him. I gag at his appearance, he looks disgusting, most of his face has melted off, almost like Deadpool but worse. He looks like he was dipped in acid and later on left in the sun to dry.

 The grin on his face grows letting all kinds of bugs crawl out of his mouth. I look down at his arm and fingers that are still hanging by the hem of my shorts. ''AHHHH'' I scream but am quickly shut up by a hand that is covered by dust.

''Keep quite bitch, your gonna scare her off'' he says in a whisper-yell voice. My body stiffens when the snake slithers around my waist and lingers a second too long above my scar, right in the middle of my back.

(a/n: picture that one scene from her music video your power *I think*)

''I see you've made a new friend, I guess birds of the feather do actually flock together'' I say when I feel the snake wrap itself around my arms and neck. When it licks the sweat under my ear, I couldn't help but flinch and start to slightly pant.

''Don't talk about her like that, we fulfil each other needs... keep each other satisfied, I never thought a reptile could make me feel this way'' he says getting lost in his thoughts. EW.

I try to scream at his pale face but moments after I open my mouth my windpipe is being squeezed shut and I feel a sting underneath my ear.

❤❤❤

''Eleonora! Wake up! Eleonora!'' Snapping my eyes open I feel as though the snake is still squeezing my trachea. 

I struggle to breathe ''Ele your turning blue! Are you okay! Take deep breaths!'' I try to gasp for air but I just end up inhaling some of my hair. I feel warm tears rolling my cheeks, loud voices besides me become muffled, black spots blur my vision then I pass out.

❤❤❤

I snap my eyes open, the events of last night hit me. I get up, letting the sheets pool by my stomach and before I know it, I break down. 

I cry and cry and cry, I always pushed my past behind me forcing myself to focus on the future. Never really giving myself time to heal, I knew this day would come and I would have to face it.

 I would always procrastinate grieving my mom and real dad's death. I chose to live in the future than in the past or present. 

Just to get away from my thoughts, I never really thought that my decision would backfire. That I had neglected my mental health for too long.

''Are you okay?'' I quickly wipe my tears away, turning my head to in the direction of Damiano's sweet but deep voice coming from the shadows. 

''Yeah, w-when did you get in here?'' I ask running a hand through my morning hair.

''I stayed here last night'' he says getting up from the small couch that he must've slept on.

''What time is it?'' I ask out of serene curiosity.

''04:01'' he says without looking at some sort of device.

''You didn't have to'' I say once he sits at the edge of my king-sized bed with only a pair of sweatpants, leaving his toned chest exposed.

''I did, you waked up everyone with your loud screams. Clearly you were having a nightmare, I couldn't just sleep knowing that you were left alone in here still feeling uneasy.'' he says his voice still raspy and hoarse.

''Thank you, what happened last night, never happened before but I'm pretty sure it'll happen again. If it does will you sleep on that excuse of a couch again?'' I ask. I chuckle when he stretches out his limbs.

''I don't think my body will let me''' he says and chuckles quietly to not wake the others up. ''what's that underneath your ear?'' he asks and when I reach to touch whatever it is he's talking about I flinch and freeze.

''C-can I tell you something'' I ask when I feel two small bumps under my ear. Right where the snake bit you.

''Sure, what's going on, you look like you've just seen a ghost.'' he says scratching the back of his neck, allowing me his muscles to flex with his every move.

''Mi sento come se qualcuno mi guardasse quando vado a dormire, come se il mio sesto senso stesse facendo gli straordinari o forse ho la paralisi del sonno o sono solo paranoico. Mi sento vuoto dentro al giorno d'oggi, non importa, probabilmente ci sto solo pensando troppo'' since when do I vent?!

(translation: I feel like someone watches me when I go to sleep, like my sixth sense is working overtime or maybe I have sleep paralysis or I'm just being paranoid. I just feel empty inside nowadays, never mind I'm probably just overthinking it)

''Oh-kay, I didn't realize you were Italian-'' he says getting up from my bed and adjusting his sweatpants that look tighter around his groin area than before.

''It's okay, English gets tiring sometimes'' I say, and my ears are blessed with the heavenly sound of his small laugh.

''You are clearly mentally exhausted, depressed to say the least. It's quite hard to accept it at first but once you let yourself be sad it'll eventually pass. Smiling and laughing can fool everyone, even the media but not me'' he says before twisting the doorknob and walking out. 

I stare at the now closed door thinking about what just happened. I willingly vented and got the best but worst advice ever. Bro didn't sugarcoat anything. Maybe I am depressed, and I know one person that can make me forget about all of my problems, Ian.

I wish I could bargain with my twelve-year-old self.

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last chapter of the '5 stages of grief' is up next.

I'm not feeling well guys, I'm neglecting my mental health and

 I'm blaming school, tbh. 

School will def be the death of me 

if my obsession w my crush doesn't kill me first... *sigh*

hope you enjoyed!

love you.

<3