20. Loyalty and Betrayal

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༄༄༄

I return to the loggia more morose than ever. The dusk turns bruise purple, clouds gathering in the sky thicker, and rain starts murmuring across the old city of shamans, dark and grim. I pick my textbook from where I left it on the floor before it gets wet, and drop to sit by the door of Loretto's apartments, pressing my back against the cold wall now.

Jaya thinks that I should leave. That I should run and hide, and give up everything I've been fighting and dreaming of since I was a kid. Give up the crown. Justice. Equality. Because only by running and hiding and waiting, we can get all that, she thinks. The changed world.

I don't run.

Probably it is foolish, or bold, or arrogant, but it feels wrong. I've built something here, too! In the last two months, I've learned more about shamans than in my entire life, and I've made a true friend--I hope. And that's not Jaya. Perhaps I can change the world from the inside, too? After all, am I not the proof that a plainblood can pretend to be a shaman, and nobody will see the difference? At least for a while? I've managed it until now.

And I'm not leaving Loretto! If Jaya's also right about Loretto being Maricela's forced servant, Maricela will punish Loretto if I run and they catch me later--and I've no idea where I can hide without being ever caught. I can't betray our friendship like that, can't leave my friend alone...And I ain't matchmaking Ian with that friend of mine.

It is around midnight when a familiar robed figure enters the loggia, the footsteps stirring me awake from my drowse. Noticing me seated by the door, Loretto halts for a heartbeat, bewildered, then crosses the rest of the distance between us, throws the door open, and bangs it shut before my very nose without saying a word or waiting for me to follow.

I sniff, rubbing at my sleepy eyes. I guess it means Maricela was indeed pissed.

While I think whether to walk in and ask what the empress wanted or give Loretto a few moments to calm down, the door swings open again. The lightning slices the sky at the same moment, making me flinch, depriving me of the last of my drowsiness.

Loretto stops in the doorway, staring at me, faer expression unreadable in the clouded night, but I can still see thoughts swirling in faer eyes, just as it always happens when Loretto has a difficult decision to make.

There's not a trace of the playful and careless mood Loretto was in when we last stood face to face in the hallway, not a hint of curiosity or trust, no heated air between us, and worry spikes in my chest with new force. "What happened?" I ask. Was Jaya right? Does Maricela want me dead right away?

Loretto turns toward the stairs. "Let's go."

"Where?" Why?

"You once said you'd follow me if I kept us safe. That's what we're doing now, Elisey. You're following. I'm keeping us safe. No questions."

My heart stutters. Why am I suddenly Elisey again, not Eli? What the hell happened at the meeting with the empress? But I did promise to follow Loretto, and I do want us both safe, so I rub my cold shoulders, shivering as the wind and rain hit my face, and hurry after my mentor.

Into the night.

༄༄༄

We walk past the gardens and buildings, the menacing looming shadows at this dark hour, and I realize Loretto guides me to the last place I expected to visit tonight. The broken temple. The only building in Tik'al that stands in ruins since the Civil War, the one Kofi and I used to sneak in and out of the old shaman city to steal aura. Does Loretto know?

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