The Tragedy of a Ten Year Old

One Hell of an IKEA Adventure

(honestly what's one of my books about family without a big and dramatic Ikea episode)

Max POV

After I got dressed into a black hoodie and a pair of basketball shorts I threw on my tennis shoes and ran out of the woodsy bathroom and down the stairs

On the couch I found my new parents

Dad was in a pair of Cargo Shorts and a green hoodie with a yellow t shirt underneath and mom was wearing her favorite purple hoodie and a pair of black ripped jeans

We walked outside and the neighborhood seemed nice it was a suburban neighborhood with sidewalks and driveways and modern yet modest houses my biological parents were pretty loaded so we are supposed to get a pretty large monthly check from the state in their name for child support because of the "drastic lifestyle change" and thanks to that we have plenty to buy what we need for today

We got in the car and we were on our way

Unlike the camp car that the councilors use they actually have a pretty nice Prius

Normally I'd give them shit for owning a Prius but the people took me away from my shitty ass folks so I'm not going to give them too much shit.. right now

How the hell is this all going to fit? Is David some kind of Jenga master?

We decided on the way to the store  since it was only a couple of blocks away that we were going to take trips, trip one furniture anything that we could build, for example book cases, a crib, bed frame, desks, side table, and a baby changing table.

Second trip mattresses and general room decor I'm thinking of a shark theme, and for the baby lavender and ducklings and general clutter items also toiletries, deodorant, toothbrush, loofa, towels, washclothes anything I might need

then we were on our way

When we first walked into the store it looked like a maze, so David grabbed a store map, because of course he did, and we went to the furniture section, we decided that I would best have a full sized bed so we grabbed this beautiful black wooden frame with pull out drawers underneath and we chose a matching desk with drawers on both sides and a black wooden side table with a drawer at the top and a place for books

For the nursery we took a different route we chose a white theme we got a white crib and a white changing table with a white rocking chair

After we were done with this first transaction we folded down two of the back seats and started loading up, it became apparently quickly that there was no way that it would possibly all fit so we sent dad away and mom and I stayed back with the rest of the loot

After he returned apologizing up a storm he finished loading up the rest of the stuff and we went to go out the furniture in their designated rooms before we went to work

Good thing school doesn't start for another week and a half

On our trip back we decided that we were going to paint the nursery since we had time and so her room unlike my grey one was going to be lavender

When we arrived at the store again we went to the home decor section and started with the sheets mine were blue with black shark silhouettes on them with dark blue mattress covers and pillow cases, the babies were white and we got a cute little duckling baby blanket for her

Next wall decor I found a couple of funny shark signs one I decided was going on the door and I found a huge 3 and a half foot tube like shark stuffie that I had to have I shall call him Gilderoy dont ask why he just is

For the baby I grabbed a little picture with a white background and the cutest little duck on it

We also picked up a lavender paint and started picking out toiletries since we had way more room than last time I chose a blue toothbrush and loofa and black towels and washcloths and then we went home and got to work, while mom ordered pizza and a 2 liter of root beer

We were on the ground floor moving all of the exercise equipment out of the gym

"How the hell did you two get these in here?" I complained while trying to get the elyptical through the door

"Fuck I don't know"

"Dad, that was the first time you've said fuck since you adopted me"

"Let me tell you something, the truth"

I looked at him confused "ok?"

"I take antidepressants for camp and by about 6 pm they wear off I also take them for school however unless you care if I'm a bouncing ball of joy or not I prefer not to take them on my days off or on weekends"

"Yea that's ok"

"It also allows me to be able to comfortably say fuck so that's a plus" he laughed

"I like this version of you"

He laughed "I do too" he paused and smiled before dropping it "now how the hell are we getting this thing out?"

"Wait you pull that end to the door while I push this end to the wall and thanks to geometry we should be able to get it out"

"Dude you're ten"