APRICITY... Jan Rozmanowski

Dm

Jans Pov:

"What is there to listen Jan. You left me when I needed you. You did this. Jan, I've moved on. I'm fucking engaged. Leave me the fuck alone now!"

She slammed the bathroom door right in front of my face, the sound echoing through the hallway, leaving my mouth wide open.
I have no words but my thoughts have a lot to say.

She's fucking engaged?! To who? When? For how long already? What happened to til we meet again?

I'm frozen. I can't move. I don't have enough strength. My feet are glued to the ground and nothing feels real.
Is this karma? Is this her revenge? If I stayed in London nothing like this would've happened. But at the same time I wouldn't be here, in Liverpool, if I didn't leave.

So many questions, not so many answers. I know I said I moved on, but- I don't even know. It's like my brain has moved on but my heart hasn't. My heart only wants her. Yes I've had some summer flings after all this mess but nothing like that. I could tell her everything and anything, she listened.

And oh how much mom loved her. Nobody has ever been welcomed to sweetly and warmly as Julia. Every time I see that portrait of me and dad I can only see her standing in front of it, eyes sparkling and lips parted.

Nothing will ever be the same. I fucked up. I fucked up real bad. Why am I like this. Ugh I'm so fucking dumb. You can't have her back, man up.
I make the worst life decisions. Whoever is writing my story, I hope your pillow is warm on both sides and your charger only works at an impossible angle. Fuck you.

I need some fresh air.

-

"Why didn't you tell me that she is engaged?" I asked through the phone, Sophie on the other side.
"I haven't had a real conversation with her since she met that guy Matthew, I think his name was," she mumbled the last part, not completely sure.
"Matthew? As in Matthew Griffin?" My eyes widened and tone changed.
"I think so. What about it?" of course she's interested, Julia is, or was, her best friend. I'm not so sure myself. We don't talk that often. She just keeps me on track with Julia's life.

"Matthew is the frontman of Beyond London!" I exclaimed, my voice getting higher each word.
"The band Julia is in?" she matched my reaction.
"Yes!" I whisper-yelled. Fucking hell. Matthew Griffin is her fiancé. Of course him. His charisma is out of this world and he's obviously gorgeous.
"Wait I'm gonna call you back. I need to do some stalking and browsing," I stated, earning a chuckle from the other side of the phone.
"Sure," she hung up.

Ugh I can't believe I'm doing this. I opened instagram and searched her name.

...Julia O'coney...
@juliajulie
Unblock

Oh she's verified, good for her. 507k followers, hm.

Followed by eurovision, vicdeangelis, sophienotsophia and 14 others...

Should I follow her? Ah, who cares.
I hit the follow button and started scrolling.

Now who's that Matthew guy.
I clicked on her latest post which was dedicated to Eurovision, of course.

It's a picture of them four, Beyond London, in the airport. Julia is sitting on her shiny silver suitcase, grinning from ear to ear as she's looking at the tall guy behind her. Oh that's Matthew. His dark brown wavy hair is falling perfectly onto his brown eyes. They look just like Julia's but a little darker.