Guess who y'all? XD I miss wattpad damn. These comebacks may be HARSH. I mean no disrespect, okay? Some came from my lips in real life. Some nah. Lol try to guess which came from me. Enjoy ! ↖(^▽^)↗
Waiter: A table for two?
You: No. A carpet for two. -_-
*window shopping for underwear * *no intention to buy*
Saleslady: Yes, ma'am what are you looking for ?
You: A godzilla costume.
Bitch: Oh please, everybody knows you're ugly.
You: Everybody except your boyfriend. *winks at her bf*
Bitch: Hear that? It's the sound of no one cares.
You: Not quite. I couldn't hear clearly because an ass wipe was talking.
Bitch: What's that smell?
You: Close your mouth.
Bitch: You're wearing cologne now?
You: A bitch repellant, actually.
Ex: You'll never find anyone like me.
You: That's the point.
Ex: I never loved you.
You: Damn, we really have a lot in common.
Ex: You replaced me with that jerk?
You: Oh no! He replaced a jerk.
Ex: Hey, how's shit going?
You: You seem fine.
You: Jealousy is a terrible disease. Get well soon!
You: Mom, which purse IS THE PURSE you're referring to? The scarlet one or the red one?
You: Condolences to your boyfriend.
Bruh: Dude, you're so fat.
You: Yeah, your girlfriend treats me every Tuesday.
Bruh: What?
You: Oh, and Friday.
You: Uh, I'm kinda busy counting my fingers.
Person: I'll throw you into a dungeon/cage of *insert insult*
You: =0 NOT WITH YOUUU!
Bully: how many eyes do 5 chickens have
You : duh, 10
Bully: how many legs do 4 chickens have
You : so easy 8
Bully: how many teeth does a cat have
You : I don't know
Bully: funny how you know more about cock than pussy
You : that's because I have a cock and you have a pussy
Bitch: I'd slap you but I don't want to get slut on my hand.
You: Don't know why since It's all over you.
You: Unless your name is Google, stop acting like you know everything.
You: I'd like to hear what you have in mind because I know you'll be speechless.
Bruh: YOU SON OF A BITCH!
You: We're not brothers.
You: Reduce. Reuse. Recycle. Maybe you'll make yourself valuable.
Friend: Wait, so you two broke up?
You: No. The vase.
Friend: You two broke the vase when you broke up?
You: Ugh, remind me you're my friend. You have to. Really.
You: *teases friend* Oh honey, who's the prettiest monkey? Who's the prettiest monkey ? *nudges friend's side*
You: If you're really smart, you should know when to shut tf up.
Bruh: Dude, I bet yours is short.
You: If you want to see it that bad, just ask. No need to be shy.
You: I'm giving you 30 seconds to answer why I should waste half a minute of my time to you.
---
Okay,I'm sleepy now. I lack SO MUCH SLEEP!! Got bags in airports under my eyes Lmao xD
YOU ARE READING
Online Alpha Diaries
RandomDARE US ANYTHING! Hello Lovelies! This book is just about our rants and silly encounters!! We are teenagers that are FRIENDLY CRAZY! We love ZOMBIES!! we kiss them, yeah! xD Sorry about my sister Yazerrs she can get Cray Cray like all the time lol xD
