Sworn (Kenny x Reader) (Southpark)

Chapter Twenty Four

-Y/n's POV-

Kenny came back in with two glasses of water and set them down beside us

"Kenny I think I'm just gonna sleep in here" I mumbled, head still hanging over the toilet

"S-same" Stan grumbled, he then went on to throw up again

"Alright I'll grab you guys some blankets and pillows" Kenny said going to my closet to grab the extras

He came back and placed two pillows and blankets by Stan and I, "goodnight guys, yell if you need me" he said walking off to presumably my bedroom 

I sighed grabbing the pillow and curling up beside the toilet, I smelt like vomit and felt like complete shit, still on the verge of throwing up

I laid there for awhile, Stan eventually grabbed his own pillow and curled up on the opposite side of the toilet

"Stan" I whispered

"Yeah y/n" he said quietly 

"Why do we drink like this" I said sadly 

"Because it's fun" he said closing his eyes

"You know what I meant-" I sighed 

"You really want to get into that" he said turning to look at me

"I-i don't know" I started "it's just sometimes I feel so alone- and Kenny said something earlier that made me think we could talk about this- just forget it" I said turning away from him

I felt him grab my shoulder, "no y/n- we can talk about it" he sighed "I'm just fucked up" he said flatly "I hate my dad, I feel like there's no point to life- so I guess you could say I'm depressed- and drinking just makes all of that sadness disappear"

"Yeah" I said sadly "when everything happened with Clyde I used it as an escape" I whispered "it makes everything I'm feeling feel a little less intense- it even makes me feel better about my parent's always being gone"

"Damn we're both fucked up" he said staring up at the ceiling

"I try to block out everything bad that's happened to me this year but it's hard-" I felt my eyes begin to tear up "I wanted so badly to just disappear- drinking makes me forget- but as soon as I'm sober it all comes back to me" I choked out as I began to cry

"I know how you feel-" he said reaching over and pulling me into a hug, I could still smell the alcohol on him but I melted into his embrace, letting myself cry in his arms

"I just feel so guilty" I said sadly "you guys have done nothing but be there for me yet I'm still so fucking depressed"

"Maybe we should both get help-" he said wiping my tears "like therapy or some shit"

"Maybe you're right" I said feeling myself begin to sober up, "I really want to talk to Kenny about this- but I just don't want to ruin our relationship" I started to cry again, "every time I've done something stupid you and Kenny have picked up the pieces- I feel like one day he's going to get sick of my shit and leave-" I sighed "I mean that was the reason Kyle dumped me"

"I feel the same way about Wendy" Stan said quietly "if I tell her how I feel I'm scared she won't understand and leave me for someone less- fucked up I guess"

"Wendy loves you Stan" I said rubbing his arm "she would do anything for you-"

"So would Kenny" he replied, giving me a reassuring smile

"God we are so stupid" I sighed "and now my head is fucking killing me"

"So is mine" he said sitting up and taking a sip from the water Kenny had brought us earlier