summer love | joe burrow

19

♡ ♡ ♡

" you got me fucked up in the head, boy. never doubted myself so much. like, am i pretty? am i fun, boy? i hate that i give you power over that kind of stuff "

" it's always one step forward and three steps back. do you love me, want me, hate me? boy, i don't understand. no, i don't understand "

♡ ♡ ♡

it has been a few days since the explosion with joe and not a single word has been shared between the two. it hurts meredith to know that joe is avoiding her. but she knows deep down that she did the right thing, even if it does make her the bad guy.

today is thanksgiving. it's been a tradition, now that meredith's mom is no longer here, that the obrien family spends thanksgiving with sam and his family. it's often a small gathering but neither family would trade it for the world.

meredith sits on the porch, feeling the chilly november breeze fill the air, when she feels someone sit down next to her. he quietly takes the seat next to her and puts her hand in his. "can you give some of that blanket? it's cold as balls out here," sam shivers. meredith opens the blanket and wraps it around sam's body, she inches closer so that she can feel sam's body warmth.

"what is running through your head mer?" he questions.

"so much" she laughs. "i don't even know where to start" the two sit in silence for a few moments when meredith finally decides where she wants to start.

"i'm upset that joe isn't talking to me. i knew how much having him in my life meant to me, i shouldn't have screwed it up. i can feel him slowly drifting away from me and i hate it. he means so much to me for him to just give up on us. i have secretly wanted us to reunite for the past two years. it finally happens, but he's in a relationship. i decide that's fine as long as i can still have him in my life. and now i feel like i don't have him at all"

"i personally think that it's only a matter of time before they break up. just give him time and eventually, he will come around" sam says truthfully.

"how long is 'only a matter of time'?" she groans.

"i wish i could tell you mer" he sighs. "because you deserve someone great. and in this moment right now, joe isn't the guy you deserve. who knows when they will break up. it could be in a few days, weeks, or months. i honestly have no clue"

"there's something else bothering you too, right?" sam continues.

"i can't help but miss my mom during the holidays" she admits. "my mom was my best friend. she always made sure i had the best holidays. and when she got sick, it became the opposite. i made sure she still had the best holiday regardless of our situation"

"her last thanksgiving was spent in the hospital. the only reason we actually ended up getting a meal was because of the nice volunteers who gave us our own tiny turkey along with all the other good stuff. we went around and talked about what we were thankful for. i told my mom i was thankful for her still being with us"

"i try not to think too much about how much i miss my mom, but the grief comes in ways you don't expect it. like today, when we watch the lions play the bills, i will think of how much my mom enjoyed watching football while she got her chemo. and how the lions became her second favorite team, with the bengals being her obvious favorite due to you, because of the time we spent in michigan getting her the best treatment she could get"