First Girl (Reece Bibby)

Chapter Nine

"But I got to let you go. My head is saying that this is for the better. I just want you to know, I can't hold on forever." -Kodaline

I was woken up by the sound of the lads' voices. They were finally home. I would've gotten out of bed and gone to see them but it seemed that the lads were having an argument. "You know I can't be without her," I heard James say. "You're talking like she's your girlfriend," Jake piped up. They were all silent for a moment before James piped up, "I love her."

"She is not yours, James! She doesn't love you. Let her go," Casey snapped. I decided that this was the best time to get up. I turned to look at Reece but he wasn't laid next to me. I assumed he was in the living area with the lads. It took me a while to get out of bed because of the pain I was in. I pulled on one of Reece's zip up hoodies and left the bedroom. The lads stopped talking as soon as they saw me.

"Did you hear any of that?" Chris asked me and I nodded. The lads didn't say a word as I walked towards James. I placed a hand on his cheek as I looked up at him. "You've got to move on," I whispered before pulling him into a hug. "But I love you," he whispered while hugging me back. I squeezed my eyes shut and hugged him tighter.

I let go of James and looked at each of the lads before asking, "Where's Reece?"

"He's in bed still, isn't he?" Tom questioned and I shook my head. I glanced at the coatrack beside the door to see that his favourite jacket wasn't hanging from it. "Maybe he's gone for a walk or something. I'll text him," Tom told me. Something didn't feel quite right. He would've told one of the lads if he'd gone for a walk or something.

"Cup of tea?" Charlie asked me and I nodded, flashing him a smile that wasn't quite real. "Oh yeah, go on then, Charl," Claire piped up as she came through the door that joined the two flats together. "Is Reece in there?" I asked Claire as she gave Barclay a good morning kiss. "Nope. Why? Is there something wrong?" she questioned and I shrugged.

I spent most of the morning just chatting to the lads. I hadn't changed out of my pyjamas as I imagined I'd need the help of my boyfriend. Hours passed by with no word from Reece and I could tell that Tom was starting to worry but with every phone call he made, he hid in the kitchen where I couldn't hear him.

"The tour starts again tomorrow," Jake piped up. Reece would come back before the tour, wouldn't he? "Are you guys excited?" Claire asked the boys and they all nodded.

Tom came out of the kitchen and went into the bedroom I shared with Reece. He was in the room for a few minutes before he came back into the living area. "Charlotte," he piped up and I looked at him worriedly. "It's Reece," he told me. I was suddenly ten times more worried. "W-what's wrong? Is he okay?" I questioned and Tom shook his head. "He's missing."

Panic suddenly took over me and I felt my chest tighten. I was struggling to breathe. James was immediately at my side, holding my hand. Tears rolled down my cheeks as my eyes met James'. I felt as though I was about to die. "H-help," I managed to get out while grasping my chest. James placed both his hands on my cheeks and said, "Look at me. Don't pay attention to anything else. Just look at me. Now try to steady your breathing."

It took me a couple of minutes but I finally calmed down and started breathing at a steady rate. James smiled and kissed my forehead. "I knew you could do it," he whispered while hugging me. "Tom's spoken to management and they are on with finding Reece," Casey told me and I nodded. "He'll come back, won't he?" I questioned. Casey nodded and smiled unconvincingly. I knew exactly why Reece had left. He couldn't handle the fact that I couldn't have kids. I knew that it would kill our relationship. And that killed me. But if he really loved me, wouldn't he stay no matter what?

I soon fell asleep in James' arms and when I woke up, I was quick to check my phone. I had one text message. From Reece. My stomach did a somersault as I read the message. I'm so sorry, Charlotte. I know I said it didn't matter but it's killing me knowing that I can never have kids with you. And maybe it's selfish of me to not want to be with you because of that. But I am so sorry, Charlotte. I can't do this anymore. I love you so much that it hurts. And it's really cowardly of me to do this over a text message but it hurts too much to have to break your heart. I'm too much of a coward to do it to your face. This is very selfish of me to ask you this but please don't be there when I come back tonight. I am sorry. So very sorry.

I wanted to throw up. I wanted to scream and yell at him. I wanted to cry so much. But everything seemed to freeze at that moment. How could he send me a text like that? How could he do this to me? But then, I couldn't blame him. I couldn't have kids and I knew that he wanted to have kids so badly. He had just broken my heart.