First Girl (Reece Bibby)

Chapter Twenty Two

"It's not that I don't want you. It's just I don't know how to love you like I used to, so intense and so profound. If I could change my feelings, I would forfeit all my bones cause your love is worth a fortune." –Lauren Aquilina

It had been six days since we'd arrived in France and I couldn't wait to go home. James hadn't said a word to me since he'd walked in on me and Reece kissing. I didn't blame him. I had really hurt him. Since that incident, I'd slept on the sofa in Chris' bedroom. He'd insisted that I slept in the bed and he took the sofa but I refused.

This afternoon I was going shopping with Claire. The other girls – excluding Amelia, of course – had wanted to join us but Claire insisted on some "best friend bonding". Don't get me wrong, I adored Claire. She was one of my favourite people in the world. But she was all babied up and it made me incredibly jealous. Every time I spent time with her I felt the urge to give Reece what she and Barclay had. But I couldn't and that killed me.

Tom sat down beside me on the sofa in Chris' bedroom. "You can't hide up here for the rest of the holiday, Char," he told me, earning a long sigh. "Everybody hates me," I muttered, pulling my knees into my chest. Tom tucked some of my hair behind my ear before saying, "Nobody hates you, Char. James is hurt and angry but that's to be expected. Amelia? Well, her opinion doesn't matter. She isn't a part of this group. You know, there's a guy sat downstairs fighting your corner, taking all the negative comments about himself. A guy who loves you very much and hasn't stopped loving you since the first time he told you."

I looked up at Tom with tears in my eyes. His lips curled into a sympathetic smile and I shut my eyes momentarily, causing my tears to fall. "I love him so much but I'm not sure if it's worth sticking around when I'm causing so much pain and anger within this band," I explained. Tom put his arm around me, giving me a sideways hug. "I think it'd hurt them both more if you left," he whispered before letting me go and leaving the room.

He was right. If I left, it'd hurt them both. If I stayed, Reece would be happy but James...there was no winning with this. So I got up, went into the nearest bathroom, wiped my tears away before heading downstairs. What else could I do? I had to face everyone sooner or later.

Reece was sat on the sofa downstairs and his face lit up at the sight of me. I wanted to touch him and hold his hand and kiss him. But James was stood on the opposite side of the room. And it just wasn't fair to do that.

Reece stood up and walked towards me before slipping his hand into mine. He planted a kiss on my cheek, making me smile. A loud bang at the other side of the room made me jump. I quickly turned my attention to James to see him marching up the stairs. I dropped Reece's hand and followed after James.

"James," I spoke as he carried on up the stairs. He didn't stop until we were on the top floor, stood outside the bedroom I had previously shared with him. "Charlotte, I strongly advise that you leave me alone," James told me as he turned to around. I looked up at him and frowned slightly. "James, you know I am so sorry. I can't even begin to explain what happened. There's no excuse for it. You are such an incredible person and I really don't deserve you. But you were there when Reece hurt me," I explained. "Yeah, Charlotte, Reece hurt you," he told me.

"It's different this time," I said. James stayed silent for a moment before asking, "Why are you going back to him, Charlotte? He broke your heart." I took James' hands in mine before whispering, "Because I love him."

James lifted my chin slightly so I was looking up at him. "I love you," he told me, "But I'll always be second to Reece." I frowned, placing one of my hands on his cheek. "You could never be second best, James. And I am so sorry. I wish I loved you. You are such a good person and you treat me like an angel. I spent a lot of time trying to fall in love with you. But I just couldn't," I explained. James tucked some of my hair behind my ear before saying, "But you did love me. Only sometimes. But I know did. I could see it in your eyes when you laughed. And that was enough for me."

James pulled me into a hug before pressing his lips to my forehead. We stayed like that for a moment before he pulled away and wiped his eyes. My heart ached for him. He was crying over our lost love. And in that moment, I felt pain for losing him.

He turned away to go into the bedroom but I grabbed his hand. "I love you," I told him, the words rolling off my tongue with ease. His eyes lingered on mine for a second before he replied, "It's too late."

2-J