First Girl (Reece Bibby)

Chapter Five

It had been two weeks since the lads had left for the tour. And I had never felt so lonely. Reece had FaceTimed me every night and I loved hearing his voice and seeing his face. But I missed his touch so very much. Peter had come round to the apartments a couple of times because some nights I found it impossible to be alone so he slept on the sofa. I had told him he could sleep in one of the lads' beds but he refused. He would walk me home from the studios every night because he wanted to make sure I got back safely.

It was Saturday evening and I'd only just got back from the studios. Peter came inside the apartment as I offered to make him a cup of tea. Claire had send me a text message saying she'd pick up a takeaway and spend the night watching movies with me. She must've felt just as lonely as I did.

When Claire arrived, I was sat on one of the sofas in the living area with Peter. "Oh, hello," she said, looking surprised that there was a gorgeous human being sat on the sofa. "Peter, this is Claire," I introduced, standing up and walking over to her. I pulled her into a hug and I honestly didn't want to let go. She reminded me of the lads. "It's nice to meet you," Peter told Claire as he stood up. Another thing about Peter I adored was his voice. It was so low and smooth.

"You too," she replied. I could tell by her lack of conversation that something was wrong. I turned to Peter and smiled. "Pete, I'll see you at the studios on Monday," I told him and he nodded, knowing that was his cue to leave. I didn't work Sundays so I had the day off, hence Claire coming round. I waited until Peter had left before asking Claire, "What's wrong?"

She stayed quiet for a moment, sorting out the takeaway she'd picked up. "It's James," she told me. That was all she had to say for a feeling of dread to come over me. "W-what about him?" I stuttered. She sighed and sat down at the table. "He's almost here," she replied. I stared at her, trying to figure out if she'd gone mad. James was with the band in Norway. "What do you mean?" I asked her. "They had a couple days off. Barclay called me this morning to tell me that James was on his way back to London. He said that he had something he had to tell you," she explained.

All I felt was a mix of dread and guilt as the door opened. James stood in the doorway, looking at me. "What the hell are you doing here?" I asked him, annoyed that he'd come all this way to tell me something he could've told me over the phone. "Claire, can we have a minute?" James questioned, looking at Claire. She nodded before going into the second apartment and shutting the door behind her.

James stayed silent for a moment. I was trying to figure out what he could possibly have to say when he marched towards me and kissed me. The kiss was so urgent, so filled with lust and hunger. I placed my hands on James' chest before pushing him away. "James...don't tell me that you came all of this way to kiss me," I spoke, the anger evident in my tone. He didn't say a word, he just looked at me with this strange look in his eyes. The way he looked at me had changed. I was no longer his best friend. He was looking at me like I was the only girl in the world.

"Say something," I snapped. "I love you," he whispered. I shook my head at him. "Don't you dare," I replied. James stepped closer to me, placing his hand on my cheek. It felt so good to be touched. "You can't do this," I whispered. I was so angry but he was giving me exactly what I wanted. "I need you. Please...let me kiss you," James spoke. I didn't reply so he took this as an opportunity to kiss me. I pushed him off me once again.

"Go," I whispered. James looked at me as if I'd gone mad. "Get out!" I yelled. James didn't say another word as he turned away from me. As he started walking away it suddenly occurred to me how horribly lonely I was. "No, wait," I breathed. He immediately turned back around. I was silent for a moment as I thought about Reece. I couldn't do that to him. "I'm sorry," I whispered. "Just please...leave." James did as I asked without looking back.

I felt so horribly empty and lonely. I wanted to scream and yell and cry. I needed Reece so badly. "I'm going out," I shouted so Claire could hear me. The heavens had opened outside and it wasn't long before I was soaked. I looked down at my body, thinking about the time I'd stood in the rain with James when he'd told me he loved me.

My mind was a mess. Why had James come back? I was so frustrated and angry. But so empty and numb. I was feeling so hopeless and reckless that I didn't bother looking as I crossed the road. I remember that as the car had come flying towards me I'd thought maybe this will bring Reece back.