You Don't Know What I'd Do For You (Love you like oxygen)

eighteen

*A/N* AHHHHHHH!!! Okay, I'm so sorry, I swear, I tried so hard with this chapter and it was just NOT happening. Just- nope, writing no work, doesn't- no. Part of me wants to take a break but at the same time, I'm scared that I'll never come back to this work if I do, so, I'm going to try and muscle my way through this. I have a plan and a timeline and everything for certain events in this story, I just have a hard time writing the little bits in between. So, I deeply apologize for this chapter, as well as the last one and probably the next few, prepare yourself for bad writing. They will probably be a bit shorter so I am sorry for that as well, I'm just trying to keep the content flowing for you guys so that I can keep up with this book. I hate when you're invested in a story and then the writing sucks but you have to keep reading because otherwise the world will never be whole again, you know? Anyways... on with the story! This chapter does not really have any trigger warnings. I would also just like to say that I stayed up until 4 AM writing this and have officially ascended into being a god.

In Elijah's Mind

"They've all moved on, Elijah," Mikael's cold, rough tone spoke the words slowly, like dripping ice, "they don't miss you."

Even knowing that it was all an illusion, that this was a memory that was long gone and over with, the scene still teetered Finn on the edge. It felt so close to home, he couldn't explain why, but it felt so familiar, but also incredibly detached, so near yet also impossibly far. All at once and for no evident reason. He couldn't understand it, the  yearning to rip apart the entire world to go and find his little brother. But not the current Elijah, not the one that was standing right there with him that they had found, he wasn't looking for that Elijah. The brother that he wanted was from a long time ago, and Finn desperately wanted to save him from something that had already happened. Block a blow that had already been dealt, ease a pain that had already been endured.

Kol was feeling a similar way, trying to explain the urge to rescue someone he had just rescued, to find someone he had just found. It hurt, knowing that he could do nothing, knowing that he was far too late to stop whatever was about to happen to his brother. This wasn't a matter of being a second behind, of missing the target by an inch. This felt like years of constantly being close, but never close enough, fast, but never fast enough. It felt like an endless race of chasing themselves in circles, being led around like lost puppies. It felt like grasping at straws that weren't there and looking for clues that didn't exist and trying their best to ignore all the signs of an outcome they didn't want to face. It felt like taking a deep breath, closing his eyes, and giving up, pushing down the nagging feeling that he was constantly just around the corner from finding what he had been searching for all those years.

And that was when it hit him, in a big jolt of realization paired with years and years of memories that were the birthplace of all those feelings. He remembered  why he had felt like that, remembered  what he had been looking for for  so long. And he remembered why he had given up, been the one to talk his siblings into joining him and forfeiting their endless game. Suddenly, he knew exactly what this memory was about, had all the answers to his questions from all those decades ago, and that was when the dread set in.

"Elijah?" he asked, his voice shaking lightly as he tried to meet his older brother's eyes, to see the truth that he knew lurked deep underneath.

But Elijah refused him, staring blankly at the scene in front of them, gaze boring into the pitiful, hunched figure in the cage. His expression and posture were familiar, head-on, proper, elegant, and very carefully pieced together into a collected mask and wall. This was how it always was, nothing, no one, got to him, he was impenetrable. The dam did not give way, no matter how dry the riverbed might be. But there was also something else, something shut down, emotionless. Along with being composed, the mask was also uncaring, facade or not, it scared something deep inside the younger Mikaelson. That was something Elijah had never truly been before, uncaring.

"Elijah," he tried again, more urgently this time, the attention of the rest of their family now fixed on them as well, "Elijah, when was this?"

Their brother was silent for a long while, just watching the scene that was unfolding before them, now completely forgotten as they all started to catch on to Kol's train of thought. But, eventually, a soft, whispered answer came, "1900's."

A look of quiet but disastrous horror settled over each of their faces as their sudden fears were confirmed. All in that one moment, the Mikaelson siblings realized, realized that they had abandoned their brother far too early. They had lived content lives while he was struggling on his knees, had waved it blindly in his face and taunted him with it for years after he had finally managed to return to them. It was setting in that perhaps they were wrong and Elijah had not simply  left. Worse than that though, they had also been right, they had been right to search for him, right in their presumptions that he had been taken, right that they had been so, so close. But they had stopped in their efforts too soon.

It hurt Klaus, more than any dagger, more than any of his siblings' dishonesty, more than Mikael ever had. The thought that Elijah might not love him anymore  hurt. But, really, could he truly blame his older brother? After all they had put him through, surely he hated them, and with Klaus' added mistreatment over the centuries, it wasn't a competition.

Even  Elijah could not possibly be as forgiving as that, he simply couldn't, no one could, all the patience and loyalty in the world would not stand for this kind of betrayal. Klaus was certain of it, Elijah hated them. No. Something far, far worse because "hate" could never be a strong enough word to describe something like this. But then, it begged the question, why would he come back? Nowhere else to go? Possible, but unlikely, he could always compel himself a hotel room somewhere. Wanting revenge? That was much more plausible, but he couldn't imagine Elijah plotting against their family.

This question continued to puzzle the hybrid, all the way through the rest of the memory and back out into the corridor to the next room. Freya came to walk by his side, maybe it was her magic or maybe it was just her, but she always seemed to know what went on in people's heads. It had worried his paranoia at first, but in times like this, he found it comforting.

"Why would he come back?" Klaus murmured, keeping his voice low more so to not break the unnerving silence of his brother's head rather than to keep the conversation private.

His sister was quiet, deep in thought and seeming hesitant to speak her answer within earshot of the rest of their family. Strangely though, it was not Freya's voice that ended up responding, "I'll... a-always... come back," was Elijah's small, whispered, wavering reply.

It drew in the immediate attention of their whole family. "Why?" was all Kol could eventually muster up in return, apparently at a loss for words.

"We made... a vow," Elijah said, more sure this time, "B-Betr-trayal... doesn't come from... a-an enemy."

*A/N* Welp, that's it, I hope you liked it, thank you for reading, and I will hopefully see you very soon!

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