You In My Bloody Memories. » Hwang Hyunjin

05

How did I end up like this? How did I end up third wheeling my best friend and my friend? Gosh, I feel so single right now. These two are being so lovey dovey that it physically hurts.

Or maybe the pain is just because of my headache. 

But seriously, these two look so cute together. I will burst if they still do not date each other. I can already imagine a wedding card for them. 

Sim Jaeyun weds Min Eunjoo

Oh, they would be such good parents! 

I want them to date at this point. 

"Iseul? Why are you smiling so creepily?" Jake asks me which brings me out of my imaginary world of being eunjoo's bridesmaid on her wedding day. 

"Oh, me? No, I am not smiling." I say with a smile this time. I am sure I was smiling back then when Jake asked me but am I going to tell my friends that both of them like each other just like this? Of course not. 

"Yeah, you sure are not…" Eunjoo mumbles almost a whisper, but just loud enough for me to hear. 

I seriously wonder what would have happened if they could read my mind and see through all my thoughts. 

"Right, I almost forgot." Eunjoo mumbles to herself again and looks up to Jake who was seated beside her as they both hold an eye contact. I could basically feel my heart beating out of my chest and excitement growing inside of me as I thought of Eunjoo proposing to Jake. 

And then, I felt my heart beat even faster and happiness growing inside of me. 

"Jake, do you want to grab lunch with me later?" 

She did it! She finally did!

She asked him out, all by herself!

I do not know why I am being so happy when I am not the one to say yes or the one to purpose. 

But she is a close friend of mine, that is why I am happier than her or Jake.

"Of course! I would love to do that!" Jake cheerfully replies as I caught a pink tint of blush creeping up on both of their cheeks. They are the cutest. 

I wish I had a relationship like theirs instead of the ones I had in the past. 

"You two are so cute." 

Fuck. 

I did not mean to say that out loud. 

But it's okay because they both look somewhat pleased with my words. 

Another, darker shade of blush on their cheeks. 

The cutest. 

•••

"He was so adorable. And you know, he sang for me!" Eunjoo says to me and squeals. The shade of Light Coral on his cheeks kept getting darker and darker. It was as if her cheeks were going to explode any second. 

"So you two are now a thing, right?" I ask her with excitement growing inside of me every second. 

I swear I felt that I was going to physically burst as soon as she nodded her head as a yes. 

"He asked me if I wanted to date him." She says and throws her head in between her hands. I could hear her heartbeat raise louder and louder. I could only imagine how she was feeling when I was here bursting with happiness for her. 

"You guys are really the cutest!" I exclaim which makes her blush harder. I am sure that I called them cute at least 30 times ever since she started spilling all the tea about her and Jake's date with me. 

"You keep saying that!"

"Because you guys are the cutest!" 

It was no lie. They are the cutest couple I have ever seen. 

I wish to have a relationship like theirs too in the future when I find the one. 

Till then, I have Sehun by my phone. 

"I am sure you and your future partner will be even cuter." She says. She might have seen my mood change as the memories of my past relationships flood back in my mind. 

Those memories never leave, and keep on getting worse and worse, especially the one with Minjae. I can never forget what harm he did to me. 

"I don't think that is possible. You guys are the fluffiest." I joke again, but it was not even that much of a joke, they really are the fluffiest couple on the earth. 

•••

The first day of Eunjoo living with me has arrived. No, no, the first night actually. It is just like the way me and her had our first sleepover with our friends where she met Jake for the first time and got intrigued by him, which I do not blame her for. Jake really is a gentleman who makes sure no one around him is uncomfortable and all her happy. But this time, there is no Jake and only me and her. 

"So now tell me, how do you feel being with your crush?" I ask her. Me and her were currently seated on the floor, leaning back on the base of the couch, watching television with cans of soft drinks in our hands and snacks on the ground in front of her. 

"When I tell you it feels magical and surreal, I am not lying." She says and sighs dreamily. I smile looking at her. I definitely know how she is feeling at the moment because I have been through this feeling numerous times as well, but ended up getting the beautiful feeling crushed by pain, regret, hurt and what not? I just hope she doesn't have to go through all that. 

"What about you? Do you currently have anyone in your mind?" She asks me back. I did not even think about if I wanted to be around new guys anymore and she asked about having someone in mind? 

Hahaha. 

"I really don't. No guy stood out to me yet." 

"Jake has some good friends. Just saying. Unless…"

[AUTHOR'S NOTE]

author is learning korean and wants to disappear because she wants to start dancing again but is scared from stretching, exercising and doing pilates.

btw if any of you guys are suffering and want to talk to someone, my messages are always open. after hearing moonbin's news, i really am broken and i would be more than happy to have you guys to rant to me instead of being eated inside.

hope you enjoy!