You In My Bloody Memories. » Hwang Hyunjin

21

The nurse’s steps fill the room with the music of her heels clicking against the hospital tiles. The walls seemed to be closing in on me, breaking past my ribs. The nurse knelt beside my bed, doing who-knows-what to the machine that laid there, unresponsive.

I was brought out from my trance when the brown doors shifted, creaking as they opened. A tall, slender body came into sight, undeniably Hyunjin’s. His lips were already upturned into a smile after he turned. His long legs easily took place beside my bed, opposite to where the nurse had worked over. His black locks fell over his dark eyes, that he didn’t bother to flick away.

Even if he looked at me with delicacy in his gaze, I couldn’t help but ponder if it was the nerves that took place in me before surgery, or that I had caught a glimpse of something undeniable lacing behind that delicate gaze.

“Don’t be scared,” Hyunjin assures me, the situation sinking in the bottom pit of my heart. His warm hand grazed over mine as he tried sweeping away the abounding fear in my chest. My hands trembled under his, while he gently embraced it. “It’s going to be well. The surgery will be successful, I promise, Iseul.”

I nodded, letting out a breath in hopes of loosening my heart from the force it laid under. The smell of the various medicines evaded my nose, raiding through me as my chest tightened. The crashing of my heart against my ribcage revived as my eyes fell upon the nurse setting up the machines.

Hyunjin’s grip tightened around my hand once again, pulling me out of ny daze as I looked up at him. His brown pearls melted into mine as a flash of something I couldn’t identify flashed over them. “Iseul, listen to me.”

My gaze fixated on him, silently urging him to speak.

“I have said this before, but I’ll say it again,” He lowered down on the chair standing beside my bed, his hand still warmly encasing mine. “It’s okay to be afraid. A transplant is serious, but I won’t let you believe that I will do anything less than my best.”

Air caught up in my throat at his words, the sweet tone of his voice melting like honey over my heart that was stuck in an iceberg. I searched his face for any hint of mere assurance, but all my eyes found was sincerity, but a flicker of something I couldn’t identify flashed in his pearly eyes. I tilted my head to the side, my gaze never turning away from him.

“I promise, I’ll do everything in my power,” He caressed my hand with a feathery touch, sending a trail of goosebumps as his warm hand rested over my cold one. “So don’t be too afraid. I am the head here, I know what I am doing, and I surely know I am saving you.”

The corners of his pink lips twitched up into a slight smile, before his form raised again, taking his hand away from encasing mine for any longer. He slipped both his hands into the pockets of his neat, cloud-like white coat. “I’ll go now. I have some preparations to do. See you after surgery.”

As he offered me one last smile before turning on his heels, out-of-the door, a nurse came by my side. Her chocolate hair was neatly tucked in a bun, a small hue of brown setting in the pink of her lips that she lifted up in a smile for me. “You aren’t scared of needles, are you?” Her voice, in a contrast to her soft features drowned in, my eyes falling on the injection in her hands.

My throat dried like a desert as the long needle hovered above the back of my right hand, which was previously held by Hyunjin. Letting a sigh escape out of my lips that awaited capture in my chest, I shook my head and mumbled out a small ‘‘No’’.

The nurse had seemed to see through the lie, a small chuckle coming out her lips. “It will hurt just a little. Then you will be unconscious. For the surgery, I mean.”

I turned my head away from the thin, yet high needle, absorbing the sight out-of-the window in the room. I balled my left hand into a fist, gathering the fabric of the sheet over the bed as the needle pierced through my skin. Darkness waited to take over my body, but I managed to blurt out to the nurse, “Please take care of my sisters if I—”

She interrupts my trail-of words, “It’s okay. I’ll tell them you will be fine after surgery. Nurse Sim told me about those kids.”

The anesthesia fell in pace with my blood, reaching every corner of my body and brain as a numbing sensation overtook every muscle of my body. Fluttering my eyes close, I let myself drift into the deep slumber, disguised as unconsciousness.

I hope I will be okay. I really do.