Arthur Fleck Archive, 2019

Request: Arthur with an Ace!Reader

A/N: I was really worried about not getting this right and being inaccurate or offensive, I'm sorry if there's anything that's off!

Length: 2,362

When you first fell in love with Arthur, you knew that he was it for you. His tender and understanding demeanor and soul was enough to make you fall head over heels in love, and you could tell, simply by the way Arthur looked at you, that he felt the same.Arthur never wanted anything from you but your love. He didn't care what shape, way, or form it was expressed, as long as it was from you.Your relationship was full of understanding, love, and patience. Arthur could tell from the moment you two started spending time together that you wanted to be with him simply to be with him, and Arthur found it so refreshing to be around someone who, for once in his affection deprived life, loved him simply for who simply who he was, body, soul, personality, and all. Although Arthur had always been curious about sex, he never brought it up with you. He never even dared to bring up the question, since you yourself had never shown any interest in it. He was far too shy to ask, and far too scared that he might offend you with the question somehow. Truth he told. Arthur never felt the desire for sex himself. He didn't even understand it-he felt like he was supposed to want it, and he wanted to do it the impress 'the guys' at HaHa's so that he could fit in and have something to bond over and talk about. But, if Arthur was being entirely honest with himself, he didn't really care for it. At all. Much rather would he enjoy simply being with you, taking in the soul, spirit, personality, and overall sweet energy that was you that he found so deliciously addicting. Though he was beyond content at where your relationship was going, Arthur himself had insecurities that maybe you did want sex, and just didn't deem Arthur worthy, which is why you never brought it up. His thoughts would be increasingly darker about the manner as your relationship progressed; were you just lonely and simply settling for his company for what it was until someone better came along? Did you feel embarrassed at the idea of having intercourse with him? Did you think he wouldn't be any good at it, so why bother asking?These questions plagued Arthur so badly, try as he might to ignore them, that it got to the point were sharing in your company, once so sweet and full of nothing but sweet words, intimate conversations, and, occasionally, cuddles and kisses, now had a strain of dark insecurity over it that made Arthur's leg bounce nervously. You noticed his leg bouncing, and, ever so gently did you reach out your hand and gently put it on his knee."Arthur," you said, you voice stern but gentle in order to get his attention. Arthur's eyes flittered over to you nervously, but then rushed back to the wall in front of him, too insecure to meet your gaze."What's wrong?" you asked gently. You hand was gently caressing his knee, reminding him that you were real, here, and whole. Though your touches remained innocent and lacked any kind of sexual intimacy, there were so important to Arthur, and so fulfilling, and even the slightest brush against his skin reminded him that you were real, something that Arthur needed and craved desperately from you at almost all hours.Arthur shook his head, and swept his curls back with one hand."I-It's just....I don't know. I feel like there's something in our relationship we haven't....discussed." He finished the sentence awkwardly, and let out a huge breath, as if he had been physically holding the tension in his chest from anticipating bringing up the subject.You knew exactly what he was talking about, and you let out your own sigh. You knew what he must mean. "Arthur, I know you must be frustrated with me. That I haven't done anything with you like that yet," you began. Your heart was quickening in your chest. You were so scared. You loved Arthur so deeply. Was he going to leave you for this?To your surprise, Arthur's head whipped over to you, and his eyes frantically searched yours. "Frustrated?" Arthur exclaimed. "Y/N, you think I'm frustrated with you over this?" His voice held surprise and shock, and you felt your own shock ebbing through you as he took your hands in his and began to gently caress them with his thumb. "Darling, I thought you were going to leave me over this. I thought maybe you thought I wasn't....good enough to have sex with." Arthur felt his voice crack in the slightest as he finished his sentence, not realizing until the words left his mouth how much the concept had been torturing him.You laughed. You actually laughed, the concept of what had been tormenting Arthur's mind so far off from reality that it was actually funny."Arthur, I have no desire for sex. I'm asexual." When Arthur looked at you with a confused,still slightly panicked look, you continued. "It means that I have no desire for sex. I just love to be with you, Arthur. I love you for everything that you are, and me not wanting to have sex with you is no reflection of you. I love you simply because I do. There's no proper way to explain it, Arthur. I just want to be with you. It's how I love, and it's certainly how I love you." You reached out and gently brushed a brown curl away out of his still bewildered face."Y-you love me?" Arthur stammered, his face becoming red and flustered.You giggled at how simple and innocent he was, and leaned your head forward until your foreheads were touching, nuzzling your nose against his. "Yes, Arthur, I do. And I don't want you to feel insecure that we'll never have sex. That's not what I want. I just want to spend time with you, be with you. It doesn't mean I love you any less. It's just how I am."Arthur nodded, slowly taking it all in. When you saw his thoughtful, unreadable expression, your heard thudded, your own insecurity overtaking you. "Do....do you want to be with me, if it means we'll never have sex?" you stammered, your previous confidence and happiness now gone in the wake of your sudden morbid insecurity. You knew Arthur must have a sex drive; you saw the porn in his journal, saw the way you thought his eyes lit up when he saw certain images of porn and naked women. Surely he must long for something.To your surprise, however, Arthur simply nodded his head. "Yes, Y/N. Of course I will. To be entirely honest, I never...." Arthur stopped for a moment, then tried again. The words he was about to say was something he had never told anyone, not even himself. "I never really wanted to have sex. Ever. I always felt like it was something I was supposed to want, but I enjoy simply being with you so much more. I'd rather spend the night talking, cuddling, and simply being together more than anything else."You felt tears begin to form in your eyes. So he did get it. "Arthur," you spoke through your tears. "I'm so glad I found you." Arthur whined at seeing the tears fall down your face, at seeing your eyes become a pained watery state, and he leaned forward and gently brushed your tears away with his thumb. "I'm so glad I found you too," Arthur whispered in a haze as he simply took all of you in. You were so pure, so kind, and the fact that you loved him simply for him, for his personality, which he had been told wasn't good enough for the entirely of his life, was enough for him to fell like he was over the moon for how lucky he was to have you someone like you. Arthur didn't need sex, penetration, or anything of the like, no. He simply needed your caresses, cuddles, and, if you were willing, soft and warm kisses. Arthur was a simple lover, and it didn't take much for him to be utterly content. He didn't need sex in order to be madly in love, satisfied, or ecstatic for being with you. He just simply needed your company, you conversations, your warm touches against him.Quite simply, he just needed you. Of course, there were still challenges that were faced in the cruel, superficial city of Gotham when it came to your less 'mainstream' approach of handling a relationship.One of the worst of the memories was when you had gone to pick Arthur up from work. You had been about to enter, when a bit of conversation had caught your interest that traveled in from the door."Hey Arthur, you know, for someone who has a partner, you sure don't ever seem to know what the fuck yous doing with sex."A couple of rough cackles of agreement followed the tough, gruff voice. "Do they even wanna touch you? Like, ever? Or do you guys just sit there and talk about how you're too small to even get inside the hole?"That was followed by even more loud, grunt laughter, and you felt tears sting at you eyes, partially for your own hurt, partially for Arthur, who had to deal with this on the daily.You heard a loud, unhinged laugh that sounded like Arthur, but didn't truly sound like him, echoing through the walls, and you realized he was mocking them with his own fake laugh.To your shock and relief, you heard Arthur's softer, smoother voice finally speak out amongst the grumbling and side comments. "Actually, we're both very happy this way. I love them and they love me, and I wouldn't want it any other way."There was silence, with still a few side cackles and gruffs, following that statement. Within a few more seconds you heard the door opening, and a few more seconds later and Arthur was rushing out the door, paper bag in hand with his things. He rounded the corner so abruptly that he crashed into you, and you both almost fell over at the force of it."O-oh Y/N!" Arthur stammered in surprise as you regained your balance. Despite his confident words he had spoken a moment ago, his eyes were red, and there were tears falling from them. You could tell he was far more broken by the words than he had let out. A dark realization came over his eyes as he gazed into your broken spirit, and more tears, as well as a little anger, came upon his face as he fully took in the situation. As he saw your own tears of pain."Y/N...Did...Did you hear everything they just said about us?"You bite your lip, and nodded. Arthur let out a soft nose of love and wrapped himself around you, swaying you gently back and forth."I'm so sorry, Y/N," Arthur muttered into the curve of your neck softly, his hot breath on your skin making you shiver. "You deserve so much better than this."Ever so gently did Arthur pull himself away from you, and, gently cupping your face, he leaned forward and kissed your lips softly-but almost it was more of a gentle reassurance of a intimate caress, a silent word of I love you against your lips rather than a kiss. Every touch shared between you two was one of nothing but love, connection, and consideration. There was nothing sexual about it, just simply desire to shower the other in complete love and adoration. You hummed into the kiss, and focused on the sensation of his warm hand against your jaw as he gently thumbed the tears from your cheek. "Let's go home," Arthur muttered. "I want to make you something nice."You smiled, and nodded. "Arthur?" you said softly as you two took one another's hand and began your walk home."Yeah?" Arthur said in his softest, most tender and considerate voice. The one only you got to hear"I love you, and don't you dare blame yourself for how these men treat you. You're perfect, just as you are." Arthur let our the most tender smile, which reached his eyes, making them shine, deepening his laugh lines."I won't, Y/N," Arthur muttered quietly. "As long as you promise the same."You smiled, and nodded, to which Arthur's tender smile increased tenfold, making your heart melt. Oh, God help you, you did love him. He leaned forward and softly pressed his warm lips to your forehead."I promise."Though Arthur was doomed to always be ridiculed for never being with a partner "like that", he was more than willing to endure anything simply to be with you. The rest of your night was one of therapedic conversations, warm hugs, cuddles, soft talk, hot food, and, above all, love.By the time you two lied down together in bed at night, there was nothing but pure, thick love radiating from the both of you, so tangible it was almost a physical sensation, its own entity. Arthur wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed the back of your neck softly, to which you giggled and buried your face in the pillow. His sweater tickled your skin like gentle kisses of their own.You two lulled yourselves to sleep with simple, sweet conversation, and both of you felt the most fulfilled from that simple sensation alone. This was heaven for the both of you; to simply spend nights together, cuddling, talking, and laughing quietly.Your relationship was not lesser because of lack of sex; if anything, it was fuller, so much more pure and leaving more room to simply enjoy the other for everything that they were in their presence alone. So rich was this experience, that you couldn't imagine it being any better than this.You two would never be entirely understood by much of the world, but as long as you had one another, that was all that would ever matter.-------------------------