Arthur Fleck Archive, 2019

I can't resist you

Summary: You try and punish Arthur the only way you know how after you two run into some money troubles, not realizing how much it would really impact Arthur. All you want is for Arthur to learn how to care for himself as much as he does about you, but you go about it the wrong way.A/N: idk if this scenario even makes SENSE jdnwdkqdw i was just trying to make a scenario where this relationship dynamic would manifest. If there's a clear solution to the money issue i can't see just ignore it ejjew i was just looking for an excuse to write touch starved Arthur. Also i feel terrible for writing this and doing this to Arthur ewfjjnfeew I LOVE YOU ARTHURContains: a little angst, smut, conflict, slight arguing, Carnival, needy ArthurYou knew how Arthur's brain worked, all too well. More than perhaps he gave you credit for. "Arthur, we talked about this." Your voice was the sternest you had ever used with him. You were angry, and disappointed, far more than you let on. You hated being angry with Arthur about anything. Even now you trying to hide just how frustrated you were with him as you stood a few feet away from his thin form sitting on the couch, your body trembling with worry and a little rage. This was the third time this had happened."I just wanted to help. I know your job hasn't been paying you well lately." He was sitting on the couch across the room from you, blankets swept over his body. He was so snuggly looking, wearing an oversized sweater, his brown ocean waves stuck out in all directions. He had been told, no, ordered to go rest when he came home to you, sniffling with a red nose and even redder exhausted eyes. It was winter in Gotham, and Arthur's job had been asking him and the other clowns regardless of the weather to go out and dance in the streets. Six to eight hours of Arthur on his feet in those thin clothes that technically weren't even real clothes, just thin little party cheap cloths of nothing. Not only was he being scoffed at, abused, and dancing on his feet for an absurd amount of time, but now he was cold through all of it too, and it was painfully clear within just a week of this work that he was sick now too. It angered you to no end, but when you had asked Arthur if you could go down and "talk" to Hoyt a bit about his treatment of his workers, he had only started to stammer and blush furiously, clearly nervous beyond words at the thought, and the only thing that stopped you from getting to that point was him literally begging you not to, slight tears in his red rimmed eyes as he insisted that he would have to deal with the wrath of Hoyt as soon as you were gone and Hoyt deemed it "safe" to yell and abuse him again. Now here you were, about a week later, and Arthur had just gotten home from yet another grueling day. He had a bruise on his shoulder, his face had blotchy red patches all over it, his eyes seemed to be permanently exhausted- he had a popped blood vessel on his eye that made your heart shatter-and he was coughing like crazy. It was bad enough to see the man that you loved more than life in such a disheveled, mistreated state, and you would admit at least a part of your anger stemmed from that, and then partially that he didn't care for himself, and then still even more at his job that abused him, but what was truly angering you at the moment was walking home into the apartment, only to see your bills paid-when you hadn't yet paid them with your own money, and dinner on the table that was had a loving note, For Y/N by it.It was true you job hadn't been paying you lately-your office company had run into a massive robbery that had significantly damaged the store's ability to function-it was a common occurrence amongst Gotham-and you were being paid less than half of what you usually were. You had taken up more hours, but not even that could even come close to making up for the money you were losing. It broke your heart, but not for yourself. You wanted you and Arthur to have the best life you could have together, and, in general, to help him out as much as you could. It was good that his job could keep him afloat, although just barely, and Arthur could hardly afford to take care of himself enough as it was, let alone you as well. You two were balancing on the very edge of the homelessness. You would think having two people sharing the bills would make living easier, but it really just added an extra mouth to feed and the like to the apartment's expenses, so it evened out into about the same struggle you two were having previously when you both lived alone. You two had made a deal when you first got together; you would pay the half of the bill that concerned the stuff you invested in, and Arthur would do his. You spilt on electricity, heat, and the like together. It was been a pretty good system, up until your job had cut half your pay. It was true you couldn't afford to pay your half this month along with the food shopping you had to do, but Arthur using all of his earned money on you when he already worked his ass off, and was in such a state because his job didn't give a damn about him, was sending you off the edge. Did he even have enough money to buy himself dinner for the next few weeks?"Arthur, that's your money. And you've been sick too. And you bought me dinner, too?" Arthur shrugged, and swept his curls back with his hand-you tried to ignore how weak that made you, how much you just wanted to cuddle with him under the blankets and forget your long day and worries. That had been the plan for the afternoon-but now you were having second thoughts. He needed to know how serious this was, that you could take care of yourself, that he didn't need to sacrifice anything to take care of you. That you didn't want him to, especially not when he was falling apart so much already."It's not a big deal," Arthur mumbled, trying to play it casual, but you could tell he was upset that you were being so stern with him. "Couples help each other, right?" He looked up at you with those doeful, beautiful blue eyes that made your heart melt and soar at the same time, but no, you needed to resist him tonight to get your point across. You shook your head, and crossed your arms. "Arthur, I told you I didn't want your help with this. This was my responsibility. Do you even have enough to buy yourself food for the next few nights? Because I don't have the money to pay for both of our meals."Arthur sniffed, and rubbed his sore red nose. You took that as a resounding no. "I only have enough to pay for food for one," you growled. "I do have a little extra money for a bit of food for you for the next night or two, and of course I'll share, but that's not the point, baby. You need to take care of yourself first and foremost, and the worst part is that I told you that."Arthur was looked down now, fiddling with his thumbs. It was rare for him to not feel safe to look into your eyes whenever he pleased. "Just come cuddle," Arthur tried one more time, his voice boyish, soft, raspy, and, finally, a hint of apologetic. "You can pay me back, or something. Just....please come snuggle."And that was were your train of thought came in full circle; you knew how Arthur's brain worked, that he quite literally needed your kisses and touches and skin against his for at least three hours of the afternoon like he needed medication. But you had a plan, and, even though it was inevitably going to backfire and punish you too, you had to come up with something that you make sink in that this was not allowed to happen ever, ever again. You couldn't stand seeing Arthur in this state.In an ironic sort of way, you would have to not love him for a few days in order to love him. You rushed up and jumped on Arthur, and he let out a yelp of surprise. You started to tickle him until he was completely breathless, his already blotchy face becoming increasingly more red as you tackled his sides through the thick blankets. You peppered his face in kisses, and he giggled with both happiness and helplessness as he was reduced to a puddle of affection under your touch."Y/N, what are you-" you cut him off with one last kiss against his lips, savoring every feel of his lips against yours, memorizing with painstaking detail just how otherworldly and amazing it felt to touch him. Oh, this was going to be cruel for the both of you, but you couldn't see anything else you could take away from him that would mean enough to him to get your specified financial boundaries to sink in.You pulled your lips away regretfully, and allowed yourself one last peck on his sore nose, the sensation making your folds throb with heat. "I hope you enjoyed that," you gasped between breaths, smirking inwardly as you thought about how you had done 'that' for yourself as much as him. A just as equally breathless Arthur, who had his hair in his face, face red, skeletal chest heaving up and down, seeing his ribs even through the fabrics of his sweater, stared at you with questioning green eyes. "Becuase for the next week, cuddles, kisses, intamcy, and sex is off limits."Arthur's eyes went from inquisitive and playful to completely worried, threatening to bulge out of his skull. "No-No-Y/N, please, I'll do anything, I'm sorry," he whimpered, his voice pitiful and broken. The sound alone almost made you cave, but, upon seeing the bags in his eyes once more, seeing the hollows of his cheeks and the unnatural red of his eyes, you knew you needed to do this for his sake.You put your finger to his lips, and he pressed his lips softly against it, his touch starved essence pouring out as he took whatever he would get from you. You would let him have this much for now."No cuddles, no kisses, squat."Arthur let our a small, helpless whine, and buried his face into the couch pillow."I need you, Y/N," Arthur whimpered into the pillow. "You know I do. I'm sorry I upset you.""Too late for apologizes," you said determinedly, trying to ignore your own cravings to curl into him. "If this is the only way I can get through to you, than so be it."Arthur didn't move a muscle, his face still buried in the pillow. Your heart caved, and you felt the need to reassure him instantly. You were so weak for this man that it drove you wild."I'll still be here, baby. You can still tell me about your day, call me pet names. We'll still sleep next to each other, and I'll still cook you dinner. I'm still here as your girlfriend and as someone to talk to, sweetheart. I'm still yours. But we need to be able to work this out, and if a week away from me physically is what it takes for you to listen-" you sighed. "Then this is how it's gonna be.""You're a cruel woman," Arthur rasped into the pillow. "Cruel, cruel woman.""Cruel enough for you to be addicted to cuddling with me, I suppose." You chuckled, trying to ignore the sadness in your core, then got up and headed for the kitchen.The next few hours consisted of you writing in the journal you shared together, and Arthur lying his sick body on the couch, watching his Murray Franklin reruns. When it was time for bed, you told him so, almost falling into your habit of stroking his face gently before taking him off the couch, but managing to resist last minute. You lied down one side of the bed without his arms around you, and you shivered miserably. Arthur lied across the bed from you, back turned to you. You flipped yourself over and stared at the soft red sweater that graced his loveable body, and felt your heart physically tear at how much you wanted to kiss and love on every inch of his skin to make up for the past few hours. But then you thought about the money, about how Arthur didn't care for himself, about how how hard it was going to be to feed him for the next week. You sighed, and fell asleep without his touch, feeling regret tug at your mind despite reason.This was going to be a long, long week.———————————It had been days since you had touched Arthur, and to say you were going crazy was an understatement. You had underestimated to the highest degree how much you needed his touches as much as he needed yours. Arthur hasn't been talking to you much lately. He had simply been coming in, putting his bags down, giving you that puppy eyed, sad look, and then sitting by you while you both watched his shows, with only a few quiet words spoken between you two. You tried to make conversation, but it was strained and a little forced. Of course Arthur talked back to you, he still had all of the same love, gentleness, and admiration for you, but it was hidden under a strain of how much he was fighting between longing for you and being frustrated with you and your "punishment". There were some parts that were paying off, however. Arthur's health was significantly increasing, and you could tell by the way he was taking this punishment that he wouldn't be making the same mistake again. He had already returned some of the food he had paid with his own money that was meant for you so that he would have more money for food for himself, and allowed you to use what little money you had to pay for both of you for the next few weeks.Of course, he had his tactics. He had tried to tease you a fair couple of times these last few nights to get you to touch him in any way you were willing to grant him. He tried the approach of getting into bed fully naked, lying on top of the sheets so that his body was fully exposed. Never would he have felt comfortable enough to do this with anyone but you. He knew you loved him, and he knew just how much you love him so much to the point that it was hard for you to resist him-and, therefore, how much you loved his body. You had almost caved every time he had done it, but had managed to pull back every single time despite how much your heat throbbed, despite how much you wanted to touch and caress him, to be inside of him the way you were both used to every single night. But you resisted, because you knew Arthur. If you gave into him, it would be silently letting Arthur know that he could, in fact, get away with paying your bills for you and letting himself rot. You absolutely refused for this to be the case. You needed him to take this seriously, to take taking care of himself seriously, and his overall well-being seriously. If you were going to torture yourself and him, you needed to go all the way. You needed to make it productive.So, you had simply settled for a gently muttered, "Goodnight, Arthur" and had turned the lights out, trying to ignore the whimper that followed your words as it fully settled in that he wouldn't be getting his fill of you tonight. Of course, it was more than that for Arthur. It was about so much more. He didn't just long for your touches-he needed them. It wasn't about horniness or ego for Arthur, no. It was about love, validation, healing. For Arthur, being close to you in any way you would grant him was the greatest gift you could bestow to him. It was the final mark they you truly loved him, that you wanted every part of him, skinny ribs, hollowed chest, jutting hips and all. Arthur would never find himself desirable, but with you he couldn't help but feel like anything but desirable, the way your hands desperately danced and graced his skin, so clearly desiring him as much as he did you. You knew what each day for him was going to be like, grueling and unforgiving, and it killed you more than you were willing to admit that he was facing the world now without your touches. Like the old days, before you.You sighed, and sunk further into your chair, closing your eyes. You were muddled and tired, your skin aching for the tenderness that only he could grant you. His lack of touches had taken its own toll on you, and you felt the literal ache worming itself into your soul like a disease.As if on cue, the door clicked, and your tired eyes flittered over to the clown that was standing in the doorway. He wasn't Arthur at this moment-he was Carnival. Your heart did a small, painful lurch. Carnival was the persona he stayed in when he was in a lot of pain-more pain than he was willing or wanted to show you. Much like how he would hide his emotions when he was in deep pain, he would mask his literal face with the heavy greasepaint, making his gentle, sweet face that was so precious and gentle simply to look at unrecognizable under mindless, inhuman paint, hiding all of the tender gentleness that he naturally had that the world loved to knock down with a deep force. The world made him ashamed of the elements of him that you found the most precious, the most worthy of love. You let out a whine of pain, and you knew tonight might be the night you caved. Your heat was aching for him to be inside of you, your very skin breaking out in goosebumps just at the sight of him. But, more important than any of that, you were also worried-deeply worried about what he was feeling. He seemed to be in a deep state of buried pain, and he looked at you through unreadable, soft eyes through the blue triangles of his Carnival make up, which then quickly dropped back down to the floor. He scurried towards the bathroom, body scrunched, arms pushed at his sides, as if trying to make himself as small as possible.You got up, feeling the urge to comfort him in whatever way you possibly could. There was still a part of you that was determined to stick with your punishment, but every fiber of your being wasscreaming for the desire to be near him again, to love and kiss and touch all of his pain away until he felt nothing but your love and your sweet, unconditional and gentle words that eased like a spilled paint into one another until the elements of physical and spoken word of intimacy couldn't be disguised from the other; until there was only love; true, genuine love taking the form of whatever it could in order to touch his soul, all of it transforming into one melodic song of healing that only Arthur could hear. If you were the song, Arthur was the conductor, and he needed to hear your melodies in order for his life to have a reason at all. He couldn't hear that song right now, and he was suffering for it.You rushed into the bathroom and pushed the door open. Carnival was sitting on top of the toilet, simply staring at the stagnant, colorless wall in front of him. You made a noise of love and almost forgot yourself, almost falling immediately to the urge to spoil in him your caresses, kisses, and touches, but you stopped yourself just in time. Arthur needed to learn how to care for himself. Needed to."Sweetheart," you whispered. If you couldn't comfort him with you touches, you needed to at least attempt to use your words. "What happened?"A small, tormented chuckle that was instantly suppressed with his hand within half a second was the only response he gave you. He continued to stare at the wall, making no response that he had heard you. The blue triangles of his eyes were starting to melt down his cheek, spreading down into his neck. He seemed to hardly care. Arthur didn't care for himself; it was always up to you to make sure he was cleaned up and taken care of. Oh, he took care of you, all right, but taking care of himself he deemed too insignificant for him to be concerned with. You felt your insides go black; this punishment was doing the opposite of what you had wanted. He was being more responsible, sure, but his soul was rotting. There were so many things about Arthur that was like a child, begging and literally needing physical love constantly in order for him to know he was loved. And you had been denying him those starved parts of himself that only you could grant him."Arthur," you cooed gently. You rushed over and kneeled down beside him. Don't take his hand, don't take his hand, don't-Your hand rushed out and gently you took it in yours. You had to close your eyes for a minute at how touch starved you had been for his touches-the wobbly veins of his hand were like gentle hills against your own slightly smoother hands, caressing you like soft kisses. You had forgotten just how warm his hand was-even in the cold did it always feel so warm and comforting simply because it was Arthur's. His warmth radiated through everything he did. You let out a shaky breath, and gently caressed his skin with your thumb. His hand was full of scarp bruises, wounds, and the like-the literal marks of how cruel the world was to him. You let out a gentle coo of sympathy, yet were adoring the sensation of taking in every detail against your own skin that was Arthur's and Arthur's alone, the unique wretchedness of his condition you found nothing short of irresistible and damn near heart stoppingly loveable.At your touch, Carnival's previously distant eyes snapped up, and he whisked his head over to you. His electric green wig tipped over on his head as he did so, almost falling off the side of his head from the intensity of how he fast whipped his head. There was intimate dances of multiple intense emotions in his gaze-there was shock in eyes, an indefinable about of pain, sadness, and-the one most prominent-relief. You touching him in even the slightest was surely the one thing he had been waiting for since your 'punishment' had started a few days ago, and you could feel every painful tremor as his hand shook against yours. With desire, despair, or longing, you couldn't tell. You just knew he was inpain. Your hand was trembling almost as much. You had missed his desperately, too."Arthur, baby, can you tell me what happened?" you asked gently. Your thumb was gently caressing his hand up and down, the rhythm calming to the both of you.Instead of words, Carnival's lips dropped into an exaggerated frown. He took his other hand that wasn't being caressed by yours and made a crying symbol with it by putting his fist by his eye, rubbing it in a circular motion. Despite his playful attitude, there was true, genuine pain in his eyes, his bloodshot eyes a haunting red against the unnatural white of his face."Oh, my love," you muttered gently. "What did I do to you?"Although you had thought it a....decent idea at the time, you were realizing now fully the deep errors of your plan. Arthur needed your touches and kisses when he got home. He needed them more than the food you fought over to buy, more than the soft bed that kissed his exhausted skin at night. They meant an entire world of healing for him; not only that, but Arthur was simply the type of soul that needed an indefinable amount of love, in general. The softness of his soul longed for it like water in a desert, and the damage of the trauma of his life only made that quality more life stoppingly thirsty. He was the most worthy of love out of anyone that you knew in the wold, and here you were, denying him that which he longed for more deeply than food or sleep simply because you had been frustrated with him, of all things. It seemed so petty and selfish of you now."One moment," you muttered softly. You got up from your squatting and let go of Arthur's hand-trying to ignore the deep, empty feeling that instantly replaced it-and went to go get a warm towel from the bathroom. You took it under hot water, and then rushed back over to Carnival. You squatted down again until your face was level to his, and your eyes met in a silent conversation as you began to gently wash the greasepaint from his face. "You really need me, don't you, Arthur?" you whispered softly as his eyes searched yours. You didn't say the words in a cocky or malicious way; you simply spoke the words aloud to let him know that you finally were coming to realize the true severity of his condition for you love. Carnival made no move to agree to disagree-he simply let more hot tears roll down his cheeks. You let out yet another a soft noise of love and pain and leaned forward, gently kissing the tears off of his face like you used to. Carnival let out a shuddering breath against your face as you did so, his hot breath making your tremble with your own lust. "So wonderful," Carnvial-now more Arthur-rasped in a pained tone as the paint gradually was wiped from his face, leaving it to look like an unfinished portrait as the colors melded together as one giant disarray of chaotic colors. In that moment Arthur looked like the very definition of pained art, in more ways than one, with his red, tormented eyes peaking out from the equally mixed up paint. You nodded against his skin. The simple touch of his cheek against yours was enough to drive you wild-now that you remembered how his touch felt like against yours, every touch radiatingelectricity through you like fire, you couldn't believe you had gone this long without his touches. Slowly, you allowed your lips to gently caresses his cheek; the very air between the small space between his cheek and your lips seemed like it could light aflame itself with the sheer passion and love that manifested there. You wanted to go further, every fiber of your being begging for his touch, but you weren't sure what his mental state was, and you were't sure what he wanted. As if sensing your hesitation, Arthur whispered in a heavy, lust filled and raspy voice, "more please."You nodded every so gently, and you allowed your teeth to leave its place from behind your lips and nipped his skin. Arthur let out a sharp yelp of pain in response, and then let out a breath of white hot relief and lust.You knew he wanted to touch you, and you knew he was resisting because he thought that was what you wanted.Like hell Arthur not touching you was ever what you wanted. "Arthur, yes," you whispered against his skin. "Please touch me, baby. Please."That was all Arthur needed. Before you even could process what was happening, Arthur shot his arms around your rump, pulling down your pants and letting them fall to the floor. Arthur's worn hands began to gently kneed both cheeks of your rump, and then rushed down your legs like a flittering bird, so quick and so silent, the trail of his hands against your skin seeming to quite literally leave a blazing trail of fire against your leg that was burning after it was gone. You needed to help him out, so you wrapped your legs against his hips, and with that Arthur picked up your half naked form and carried your out of the room. Your tongue and lips were still dancing uncontrollably, and Arthur moaned in his relief as he carried you to the bedroom. He threw you down onto the bed, and he began spoiling your bare neck in touches and kisses, each one leaving a mark of fire underneath his lips and crooked teeth. You were rendered completely helpless under his touches, your chest breathing up and down heavily, your face twisted in a deep sort of pain at how much you needed him all all over you.Arthur sensed your burning, and he felt it too, the connection between both of your bodies radiating through you two like a drug. Arthur quickly pushed his own pants down with a quickwoosh, then threw his shirt aside, then bounced onto of the bed, cradling your hips between his knees as his cock throbbed against your folds. Through his energy was dominating, his eyes were begging, soft, and helpless. He needed your permission,especially after you having been so determined for him to not touch you for the past few days. You nodded, face slick with sweat just at the idea of his body and yours becoming one once more.Arthur nodded. You message had been received. Relief overcame his expression, and very quickly he thrusted his cock into your hole. You threw your head back and let out a wail, jutting your hands up and gripping his back, no doubt leaving red marks against his back as you did so. Arthur growled in response, and he continued to thrust into you harder in response to the bittersweet, deliciously addicting pain. You allowed him to ride you until you felt your hips ache, him all the while spoiling your lips and your face alike as he pounded himself into you like a starved tiger who had finally found its prey. "I'll never deny you my touches again," you gasped through the sweet kisses and gentle touches you shared. "But darling, you have to promise me you'll take care of yourself from now on, ok? I can't afford to have the love of my life be anything less than healthy and happy. I love you too much." You barley managed the words out through your gasping, and you spoke them shakily but audibly.Arthur nodded, and, at your words, speaking to him so softly and so gently the way he always craved, voice trembling with the sensations that only him entering you and claiming you could make you feel, made him topple over the edge, and with one last violent thrust he came into you. That was always what made Arthur come; the confirmation that you truly did love him, that you were his. Within moments Arthur's knees bucked from the sheer force of how strongly his orgasm hit him, and yours came upon you like lighting, warmth striking through your body like a heat of flash and pleasure Arthur allowed his face to fall into the crook of our neck. You brought your hands up and began to silently stroke his back and neck, kissing the crown of his head with soft kisses, the brown curls tickling your face. You could already feel the heaviness of his demeanor coming upon him again; though he loved to get lost within your body and within you like you were another world, another universe, he always eventually had to come back from his favorite escape and return to the real world. Your body was a map of every happiness he had ever been denied, and you finally were allowing him to explore that world again once more."I'm so sorry, Arthur," you whispered into his hair. "I'm so, so sorry. I never should have done this to you."Arthur nuzzled your neck in response. Gently, his lifted his face up to yours. The fragile poetry of his beautiful face, sharp cheekbones and stark long eyelashes alone was enough to make you cum again. To your relief, his eyes no longer held pain; they were now full of relief and tender love, and he was gazing at you with all the love in his eyes. "I promise I'll take care of myself more," Arthur mumbled with his softest voice. It was so gentle, yet so raspy from his exhaustion and the lust he had just experienced. Your feet tingled just at the sound of his gentle voice. "I promise." He took his finger and gently began tracing your features. "No more going against your rules, no more using my money to pay for your troubles unless you ask me too." You smiled, almost too lost in the heavenly sensation of his finger tracing your face to even hear what he was saying. "Promise?" you mumbled sleepily.Arthur leaned forward and kissed the tip of your nose."Promise.""I can't lose you, Arthur. I can't. I need you, baby. I need you.""I know, and I'm sorry." Arthur whispered.You simply lied there for a moment, taking in the gentle tingles that Arthur's finger was leaving as he gently tracing against your lips, feeling like an angel was literally blessing you with its touch. Arthur truly was a fallen angel, and only those who knew who could see as much."I missed you," Arthur gently murmured, seeming to be lost in your trance with you. Softly. Almost apologetically, as if he thought perhaps you didn't want to hear such a thing. You grinned, and you took his finger and gently peppered it in kisses, to which Arthur beamed his lovestruck, shy smile at you softly, his crooked teeth shining out from his lips."I love you, Arthur. God help me, I love you. You will be the death of me."What a fool you had been to deny each other the one thing that kept one another sane; each other. Though you and Arthur had your issues, never again would you deny each other the literalmedicine that you both needed from the other with physical bonding that you used to obtain the inner wealth you both needed.