24 | a long time coming.

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Scarlett

"I didn't mean to yell at her. I just didn't realise how scared I was," I tell my Mom, pressing my thumb and index finger to the bridge of my nose.

Waking up at three o'clock this morning and going to check in on Kenzie only to realise she wasn't there was frightening. If she'd picked up her phone I maybe wouldn't have panicked so much, but I had no idea where she was, what she was doing, how long she'd actually been out, or who she was with.

After only twenty minutes of trying to get a hold of her, I started to spiral so I called my Mom. I'm pretty sure I put her in this position a couple of times myself when I was Kenzie's age, so I needed her to help me get a grip on myself.

"I know you didn't, it's okay. Go talk to her, I'll be here," she encourages.

"But what do I say? I don't think I'm doing this right. I don't know how to be a Mom," I breathe, feeling myself beginning to get worked up again.

"Honey, no parent ever thinks they're doing it right and you're bound to mess it up from time to time, but you'll figure it out as you go. I mean, look at you. You turned out okay," she smiles gently, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder as I let out a half-hearted giggle.

"Alright," I decide, making my way upstairs before I quickly stop myself. "Wait, you still didn't tell me what I'm meant to do."

She chuckles ever so slightly, "Apologise for yelling, give her a hug and if she wants to talk, then talk. If not, wait until tomorrow. Tell her to shower too, she smells of whiskey."

"Okay," I smile softly, "thank you."

"My pleasure. I'll be in the bedroom down here if you need me."

I acknowledge her with a nod before continuing my way up the stairs to see Kenzie.
The sound of her crying on the other side of her bedroom door instantly makes my heart feel even heavier than it was a moment ago. I caused her to cry like that and it makes me feel so incredibly guilty.

"Babe, can I come in?" I ask gently, knocking lightly on her door.

"I'm getting changed." Her crying quickly comes to a halt when she answers me with a few sniffles.

"When you're done then?" I question hopefully, curling my lips into my mouth.

"I don't want to talk," she mumbles as I hear a drawer slam shut.
"You don't have to talk, sweetheart. I just want to apologise and make sure you're okay."

I don't get an answer for several moments before she opens her door and I'm met with her tear stained cheeks and tired eyes. "I'm sorry," she speaks quietly, avoiding my gaze.
"I'm sorry too," I respond, bringing her into my arms and resting my chin on her shoulder.

"You're okay though? You're not hurt at all?" I check, quickly pulling away and cupping her cheeks in my hands.
"I'm okay," she nods, "just tired."
I acknowledge her with a small smile before pressing my lips against her forehead.

I don't bring up the very obvious smell of cigarettes and alcohol on her, that's a conversation for tomorrow. Instead I suggest; "Why don't you get some rest, sweetheart?"

"I'll try. I haven't really been able to sleep much lately," she admits in a quiet voice.

"Oh Kenz, what's on your mind?" My question is asked in a gentle manner as I tuck the loose strands of hair behind her ears.
"It doesn't matter," she dismisses the subject, making her way over to her bed and getting under the covers, "can you turn that light off, please?"

"Of course it matters, talk to me."

Suddenly frustrated, she gets back up with a groan and shuts off the main light when I don't. "I want to be left alone," she tells me, "please."

It's clear to me that she's holding back tears, but I don't want to overstep her boundaries so I do as she asks and step backwards out the room. "Alright, my sweet girl. Come get me if you need. Goodnight, I love you."

"I love you too."

I hum in response before closing her door behind me and making my way down the hall to my own bedroom. I'm unsure if it's just all my anxiety after that events of tonight, or if it's something that's been building up over the last month, but I can't help but worry that something deeper is going on with Kenzie. Obviously she's gone through something no kid should ever have to go through and that would be playing a big part in whatever it may or may not be happening, but my concern was there before she lost her parents. It's just become stronger now.

Once I get settled in my own bed and go to turn off my lamp, a muffled scream is heard coming from my daughter's room. In an instant, I rip the sheets off from my body and quickly make my way back to her.

The sound of her incoherent sobs makes my heart feel as though it's breaking into two. It's the kind of cry you only see or hear in movies, and it leaves the whole theatre in tears.
"Kenz," I sigh sadly.
She's on her side, curled up into a ball and holding a pillow over her face as she wails into it.

"I just want it to stop being so hard. Please make it stop," her voice trembles.

I slowly settle myself beside her and gently pull her fragile body into my lap. Her head immediately becomes heavy against my chest and not a single word is spoken as I let her break in my arms.
A cry like this seems to have been a long time coming. I've only seen her cry a couple of times since she got the news and it's clear she's been bottling a lot of her emotions up.

As the minutes pass and her cries eventually becoming small sniffles, it's evident that she's on the verge of falling asleep. From the constant tired look in her eyes and what she told me earlier, she obviously hasn't been sleeping well at all so I pull the sheets over her frame and gently press my lips to the top of her head.

"I've got you sweetheart, you're safe. You can sleep."


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Hi, I had an extra chapter prepared so I figured I'd update!! Hope you enjoy you're weekend 🤍

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