trouvaille and sunlight

coca-cola and rum in the afterparty

i liked a boy for the second time
so it doesn't really matter
how many times i looked at you that night.

back then, i saw you at my right.

i liked how your eyes
followed how she moved
and how it reflected
love,

a perfect first love.

she drank three shots of vodka
and it doesn't really matter
cause she's all you wanted to see.

it was in the tip of my tongue
while i hold a glass of soda mìxed with rum.

i was ready to tell him.

he asked me if i could stay a bit longer
even when the sky was in grim.

he talked a lot,
we laughed a lot
but something inside me cried.

and i tried.

i tried to tell him,
while i was drunk,
bewildered,
and full of pride.

the bittersweet taste of coca-cola and rum
could never soothe me like how
your gaze to her
did.

nothing, even the sweet taste of cake
could never make me find
melody
of the songs that played.

then i cried myself to sleep
it was time to go
and not to stay a bit longer.
nothing to keep.
nothing to ponder.

i wish i did something different
something that would make me smile that night.

i could have told him what i felt.

but i looked away, to my right.