Joan Ascends

Chapter 19: Down the wrong path

"No, Joan," Harriet says flatly. "I thought you moved passed these suicidal heroics."

I can't be mad at Harriet's reaction, given my history. I've cornered her in the basement room that Hautey converted into a laundry room, knowing that she'd be alone. If I can get Harriet to agree to my plan, the rest of the team will come around. But I forgot how stubborn she can be.

"This time is different. I'm not racing into danger with a death wish. You can get me in and out, and we'll have the information we need to make change happen now. We can't afford to wait for Marie to hack her way deeper into Strand's network, or Addie to get us access to the inner lab."

"There are too many variables. IF you find the information we need. IF you can even get out."

"Hear me out," I insist. "The attack at the Showbox is the beginning of a much larger campaign. Strand is going to keep framing extremists for activating the virus in Throwbacks all over the country. Especially people that don't contribute much in the way of a salary to Strand's coffers. I'm talking about the poor, elderly, disabled...and kids, Harriet. Because they know parents will pay anything to save their babies."

Harriet swallows, her expression bleak. "They'd go after children?"

"You know exactly what they're capable of."

"Then I'll offer myself up for experimentation in Strand's lab," she says. "With the maps I've built of Strand's campus, I have the best chance of getting out once I get my hands on proof."

"You know that that won't work," I say, my voice gentle. "She wants me because of my new ability. And she'll be suspicious if you offer yourself up about of the blue."

Harriet's face seizes of pain, her hands clenched in her lap.

I place my hands on top of hers. "You know this is our best shot."

"This is asking too much of all of us."

I rest my forehead on her shoulder. "I'm going to do everything in my power to come back. Only a few weeks ago, I felt like I was aimless, slowly dying inside, but I've come back to life. I want to spend hours with you planning for Seattle's future. I want to play soccer with Mav. I want to make out with Justus."

Harriet huffs a laugh.

"I can't swear I'll make it back, but I'm going to try like hell. But if I don't, you'll be here to keep this rebellion alive. You've always been the heart of the operation. At my best, I've only been the fist. You can live without your fist. But not your heart."

"Good speech," she says, echoing my words from only a few weeks ago.

"I know."

Harriet agrees to talk to Marie, Sun and Kat about the logistics getting me in and out of Strand, while I find the person who is going to hate this plan the most.

~ ~ ~

Justus is working on the sixth floor, ripping out old cubicles to make room for a gym where we can practice self-defense. His face lights up when he sees me. He jogs to my side, his skin glowing with a thin sheen of sweat.

"We need to talk," I tell him, tugging him into an old conference room.

"Is this about Jo?" he asks. "Leo said that we can pick her up today. I'll go with you."

I sick feeling settles in my stomach as I sink into a chair. "This isn't about Jo. It's about Strand. I'm turning myself in so I can get the evidence we need to take them down."

"No, you're not."

"I'll be smart. I'll have the mind manipulator, a wifi connection to the Chrysalis, and Marie's customized contacts so I can record every single interaction. The police can demand my release if things get really bad. I'll be okay."