The secret ingredient

Chapter 24

Daisy. Daisy. Daisy wake up. Wake up. Wake. Up.

My eyes open and I can feel the dryness of my eyes and my sore throat. I stretch myself and feel happy. I pick up my phone and realise. he's gone. It's real. 

Denial hasn't left me for two whole weeks. It kicks in like a kick right in your gut. First you can't forget about the grief you had felt the day before but when you wake up its like amnesia kicks in. The misery is forgotten before your mind remembers everything again.

Elijah is sleeping next to me. He's been staying over recently because I've been having panic attacks since Jim passed away. It's been two weeks since the incident happened. I am thankful for Jim introducing me to Elijah. I mean he kind of introduced himself to me but still, I am happy he did.

It went by so quickly, maybe even too quick.
"Your awake." I hear Elijah whisper. His hand is on my back, soft and warm.

I nod and give him a smile. It feels wrong to smile even though I know that Jim would have been very happy to see me smile.

Elijah sits up and brushed his thumb over my cheek. "I've missed that smile. It suits you." He says it in a way that makes my heart skip a beat. I'm glad I have him.

"Can we visit his grave today?" I ask.

His gaze softens and I can see a slight smile. "Yes. We can do that, I'd love to."

***
We arrived at the graveyard a few minutes ago but we are still sitting in the car, waiting. Waiting for me to say 'let's go' or 'I'm ready' but nothing comes out, my mouth feels too dry to talk.

Elijah's fingers slips through mine and he gives me the look. The 'we don't have to do this if you don't want to' look.
Therefore I nod and get out of the car without talking. He gets out after me.

It already had been quiet but after taking a foot into the graveyard everything seems even quieter.
"He's in the same graveyard as her." I mumble to myself.

No one except an old man is at the graveyard. I can hear him talking Japanese, probably to the one in the grave. He looks 70 and is wearing vintage glasses. Suddenly I notice a picture of an old Asian woman that's placed besides the grave. Probably his wife.. He places flowers on her grave, takes the picture and kisses it. You can feel his devotion from miles away. He never stopped loving her, you can see that. The man sits down on a little stool and continues talking with a bright smile on his face. 

I suddenly feel a tear falling down my cheek.

"Daisy? Hey, you okay?" Elijah says as he takes my shoulders to look at me.

I nod. "I'm sorry I just.. lost it a bit. I'm fine." I lie.

He nods as he takes my hand "Her."

I look at him with confusion. "What?"

He doesn't look at me "Earlier you said 'He's in the same graveyard as her'. Who's her?"

Oh. He heard that? Great. I want to say it's no one but I can't say that. The moment has come and I won't push in any further. I know I can trust him, because he trusts me.

Shaking his head he reassures "I mean you don't have to tell me if you don't-"

"-My mom." I interrupt. "She was buried here as well." My gaze is glued to the ground. I never wanted to tell him so soon.. But I'm sure he's going to be my one and only Love, so he gets to know it. He's been through much more than me and told me about everything as well. He's so brave.

"Daisy I didn't- I'm so sorry." He hugs me and kisses my temple over and over again.

'It's ok, I'm ok' I want to say to him but it isn't true. The only time it was true is when they both were still on this earth, alive.

I pull away from him and kiss him deeply. "You make it better. You make me feel better." I say in between breaths. It is true. He makes it true.

His fingers go through my hair, single strands in between his fingers don't stop him from moving his hands. "Flower, I am unconditionally in love with you. After my family passed away I had to handle myself and I thought I couldn't do this again. But I will say this again and again, when you walked into the Coffee Shop something in me told me, it's her. You know, Rita was about to take your order but I told her that I would do it. So I went over your table and got to know you, Daisy Luna Rose. Earlier that day, Jim told me that you were coming and he told me that we have a lot in common. I didn't really believe him until I saw you and you told me to continue working. I knew I'd had to get you. 

He kisses my knuckles, "'I will make her mine, she will love me' I thought, so I tried my hardest to make it true. Now that I stand here I can say that I have made it true. Because I knew I'd have to make you part of my life. Forever. Never have I thought that my love could grow even more, until this moment. I want to fall asleep loving you, waking up loving you and live every day loving you. I will promise you here and now to stay with you and love you even after we take our last breath. Promise me to let me be yours forever. Because I promise you, I will." He steps back and sticks is pinky finger up to me, looking at me with big hope inside his eyes.

No one ever confessed his love like that to me. He never was a fuck-boy who slept with other girls. He only had one girl in mind and that girl was me. And now he... He's doing a pinky promise. Just like I did the night we.. I feel tears streaming down my face and feel my love grow bigger too. So I raise my hand and slowly hook my pinky with his. "I promise." I pull him with my pinky and kiss him like I never did.