The wind rustles the trees outside my flat causing them to knock on my window pane, like hands trying to claw at me . That and the added dripping from the ceiling is my breaking point, I can't take being here anymore. In bed, trying to sleep while my thoughts are filling my head like rot.
I give up my pathetic attempt to sleep, and get up. Cooking should distract me, and maybe tire me out. I haven't had much sleep recently, what with all the failed jobs.
As I get up, the stress hits me again, like a bucket of ice over my head. The letters piled up on the table don't help. All my late payments, and unpaid bills pile up, a reminder of my failure. I'm trying to apply to new jobs tomorrow but I don't know how much longer I can do this. at some point I think I need to go home. Admit defeat on my dreams.
My last job fell through, a solo act in the city normally doesn't last long unless it's something new and inspiring. Mine isn't. I'm like every other girl, like every other pianist. For titans sake, I can't even sing.
The job before that failed too. Retail is not my thing. I had 7 panic attacks in the time I was there. My first was when a customer asked me where something was, it was my first week and I didn't know, so I directed them to the isle that had the correct sign. Suddenly they blew up at me, yelling at me for being incompetent and asking me if I thought they were stupid.
This happened a lot, customers taking their anger out on us. It wasn't ever our fault, but a bad day could cause them to lash out.
In fact, all my jobs have failed. I've tried.
I used to be talented, to be the one that everyone saw and thought 'damn. She's going places.' But now I'm just no one. I have nothing left of my life but empty dreams and broken promises.
I grab my box mix, and all my bowl to start a cake. If I can't have anything productive done with my thoughts, then I'll make a cake to distract from them.
Red velvet is my favourite flavour. It's just so good, the right amount of sweet for a nice snack. And it's not boring or basic like vanilla. And the colour is gorgeous too. All round it's a great cake.
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5 hours later, I've given up on sleep and I'm accepting another sleepless night. I should be able to drop by Dr Terra's office for some more anxiety meds and some sleeping tablets. Maybe they can help me.
I get dressed, grabbing my bag and leave, checking I've locked the door 3 times, ad start the boring walk to the chemist. My headphones blast my favourite song - Liquid Smooth by Mitski - and walk on, smiling now.
As I round the corner, a poster catches my eye
****BAND MEMBERS WANTED!! I'M FORMING A COOL BAND AND I'M LOOKING FOR ANYONE WHO CAN PLAY! AUDITIONS ON 8TH JULY - 8AM AT ----****
Maybe this is it...an opportunity....
YOU ARE READING
Always Forever
Storie d'amoreLuz Noceda wants to form a band, but doesn't know how. As a last attempt she makes posters and gets some answers, from a group of teens her age. But her excitement is short lived as she soon figures out she has feelings for more than one member... 3...
