Couturier, Did you make this?

08

They say you'll know that it is love when you can't explain why do you love her.

But in my case, I know all the aspects and reasons why I love her.

Lagi nilang sinasabi na marami namang iba bakit naghihintay pa ako, na mas marami pa raw na mas better at ready mag commit kaya bakit pa ako naghihintay sa isang tao na wala namang kasiguraduhan kung may pag asa ba ako.

Eh ano kung hindi sigurado? Basta ang alam ko si Aliana ang hinihintay ko.

I realized a lots of things when I started admiring her.

"Aliana..."

"Siguro...siguro kaya hindi ko masabing gusto kita kasi alam kong hindi ako yung para sayo? Hindi ko kayang maging para sayo, kasi kulang pa ako"

That was the last conversation that we had.

We parted ways. Pero sya pa rin.

I take a break from my job and decided to travel the world. Kasi na realize ko na ang tagal ko na rin pala syang minamahal kaya oras na siguro para ako naman? Siguro kaya hindi kami pinagtagal na paglapitin ng tadhana kasi kailangan muna namin ng oras para sa sarili namin?

I went to a lot of countries and I encounter different people there. I learn, I enjoy, and I feel like I'm healing myself.

I'm not mad at her, yet I realize that she's right. Parehas pa kaming hindi buo. Parehas pa kaming hindi buo, kaya kung ipinagpatuloy siguro namin ay parehas lang kaming masasaktan.

"Voici votre café"

"Merci beaucoup" I said and the lady bow her head before leaving.

I ordered Vanilla drink. It's already 7:03am at dito ko napagpasyahang mag agahan. The interior of this coffee shop is very vintage. I like this kind of surroundings kaya madalas din ako dito.

I'm currently working as a virtual assistant dahil palipat lipat ako ng bansa. Mabuti na lang at kaibigan ni Rykyohan ang head namin at hindi nya ako binibigyan ng gaanong mabibigat na trabaho.

I finished drinking my coffee at 7:45 and decided to go to the nearest gym. I want to try the gym here. Pinagkukumpara ko kasi ang mga exercises per country, who knows? Baka dito na ako for good.

The lady is offering me a membership for a year but I told her na I'm just staying here for about 2 months. She just gave me a calling card dahil baka mag bago raw ang isip ko.

Nakauwi ako sa hotel ko at exactly 2pm kaya nagpa room service na lang ako. I ordered a chicken and pasta. I take a shower after I receive my food. Nagpunta ako sa veranda at umupo doon. The weather here is so good. Ito ang naging hobby ko sa pamamalagi ng isang buwan dito France, hindi naman ako nahihirapan mag adjust. Nakakatulong din sa akin dahil mas nakikilala ko ang sarili ko.

My friends...

They are all happy.

But I don't know about Rykyohan. Maybe he's still admiring his all time crush.

I was scrolling on my instagram feed when I saw Isabel's post. It's just three of them, Isabel, Syesa and Louie.

isxzabel: Missing Aliana, reward dos

ivoxgs: reunion ng mga pangit

n.louie: loveu girls! insert sa dalawa

rj11hev: saan na yung bampirang hindi natulog

I was smiling the whole time. It's her homies. Pero nasaan kaya sya? Wala rin si Yerice.

We're still friends on instagram and I decided to stalk her. Ang huli nyang post ay noong birthday nya pa. The pic of us, nandoon pa rin.

"I think we should take a photo" I suggested. Wala pa kaming kahit anong picture. Just trying my luck lang.

"Gusto mo ba?" she asked.

Oh, God, of course!

"Excuse me, Sir. Can you take us a photo?" she asked the foreigner.

Parang tatlo or apat na shots ata iyon. She's smiling the whole time and I was just looking at her.

"Here. What a cute couple" the foreigner said before he leave.

Ako pa rin kaya?

Sana...

Kasi ako, sya pa rin.

It's 8 in the evening and I decided to walk around in Trocadéro Gardens dahil malapit lang ito sa hotel na pinags-stayan ko. Everytime I'm walking here, I always think about her.

Kamusta na ba sya? Is she happy? Nakakakain kaya ng tama sa oras? Kanino sya nakakapag sabi ng problema nya? There are so many questions that I want to ask. But I hope she's fine.

I went to the bench and looked up in the sky. Iniisip nya rin kaya ako?

How I wish.

Kinuha ko ang cellphone ko at nagpost ng picture. It's just the view here. Sinama ko rin ang picture ng kape ko kaninang umaga.

cyryues: je souhaite que tu sois ici avec moi

I got an email from my boss at pinindot ko iyon. I need to pass some files to him. Sabi ko ay isesend ko mamayang pag uwi ko at okay lang naman daw kahit bukas na. I don't know what comes to my mind at nagscroll sa mga spam message ko and then I saw one mail.

thisisagf@gmail.com

Hello, cy! How are you? I'm sorry for taking so long to message you but I want to say thankyou for being there for me all through out these years. For waiting for me even though you can find somebody better than me.

Being taken care and loved by you was one of the biggest achievement that I can be proud of to tell others. You are more than I expect. I'm really really sorry for being so unfair to you up until our last talk. Years with you, I realize a lot of things. One of them is I can be what I want to be because even if I fail, you're there to be my support system.

I don't want to reciprocate your feelings. I want to love you because I love you not because you love me (like what you've said before) And I think, at this point, I really love you.

Right at this moment, it's the very first time that i'm sure about my decision. In 439 days that we don't have communication, I created a journal. Doon ko inilalagay iyong mga nangyayari sa akin, kung ano yung mga natutuhan ko ng gawin ng mag isa. Iyong mga improvements na alam kong magiging proud ka din sa akin.

I don't know if you have someone now. I just want to let this out. If you have someone now, just please disregard this message. I don't want to be a homewrecker.

But I really really mean all of this.

I hope you're fine :)

-aia

And right after I read her email which is 1week ago, I was supposed to ran back into my hotel room but then I saw a lady which is standing 4feet away from me, holding a phone while straightly looking at my direction.

"Oh, Thank God" I said before she rans into my direction and hugged me.

"Sorry... Thankyou for waiting me, wala ka namang girlfriend ano?" nag aalangan nyang tanong habang nahikbi.

"Wala"

"Thank you... sorry, natagalan ako.

"Je vous aime"

Couturier, did you make this?

Did you make this man fall inlove ever since you guys were 14?

14, the age where your dreams about becoming who you are today are still vivid and now I reach my dream just like what you did.