Endless War

XIV

"It will be cold and harrowing, and we will not all survive. But it must be done."

-Unknown

"Commander. I thought you'd like this."

Link slowly opened his eyes. The last thing he remembered was Turner's eightfold blade shattering into pieces - no, it had been the Yiga soldier raising his dreaded sickle ever higher before plunging it into Turner's chest.

And the screams.

The screams of the dying men and his cries for Reznov and Mason to drop him so he could save Turner.

But louder than anything else was what Turner had whispered to Link about not being alone, even without a family waiting for him back home.

Somehow, someway, he had to live up to what Turner had said about him. About him being family to his troops.

What would Zelda say about this? Would she have done the same thing? Would she have chosen to save Turner like a good friend or retreat like a good soldier?

I want her here.

I need her here. If only for a few seconds.

Link slowly shook his head, ridding his mind of her infectious laugh, sweet smile, and soft hands caressing his face as she helped him prepare for the mission ahead.

When his eyes focused enough, he began to take note of his surroundings. Somehow the team had returned to the safe house, seemingly all of them in one piece. He was lying on the one bed, so he supposed that was something good. Or maybe, that wasn't good. Perhaps he had injuries so bad that they had decided he needed the bed while the poor grunts slept on the floor. He would ask Turner about it.

Oh, damn. Turner wasn't here anymore.

Link shook his head again, forcing his eyes to focus on Ghost towering over him, with Soap making a steamed meat platter in the background. Yuri and Reznov were playing a small game of chess. And Mason was sharpening his blades. Always the soldier.

"What was it you thought I would like?"

Ghost brought up his closed fist before opening it. Inside were the simple throwing knives - Turner's knives - that Link had appropriated for himself in the doomed attempt to save the man.

Link reached out for them, and Ghost placed them in his hand, closing his fingers around them before shaking Link's hand.

"He told me to make them count, commander. Make Turner proud."

The man readjusted his skull mask before slowly walking outside. Through the window, Link saw the man kneel and pray.

But Link felt that not even prayer would be able to save them. If one of the most experienced soldiers could perish, so could any of them.

....................................................................................................

"We left him behind! We could have saved him! He could still be here right now!"

"We have our orders."

"To hell with our damn orders. That was a person out there. A man with a future. That was Turner."

"I'm aware of who it was."

"How the hell can you be so damn cold?!"

"When did you forget that we are all cogs in a machine? Did you forget that if we start doing whatever we want, everything falls apart?"

"And when did you forget that we are supposed to look out for each other? How can we accomplish the mission with no fireteam to back us up?"

Link turned around from writing in his diary.

"Ghost. Soap. Quiet."

Soap looked positively furious with his spouse, who seemed to maintain a still and calm facade beneath his mask. Soap was lamenting Turner's death and how they had been forced to retreat instead of return to save the man. And yet, Ghost was there to remind him of the costs.

Link remembered what his father once told him one night after training.

....................................................................................................

One year ago

It had been a hard, long day. Reports were coming in from the outer regions of increased monster attacks, forcing General Shepherd to focus more of his energy on the monsters instead of on his son's training. And as for Link, the fact that his father was gone most of the time took its toll on his training. He had gotten slower and weaker than last time.

That is not good progress.

He walked the castle halls on this particular night, clutching an item. He wasn't sure where he was going; he had to clear his mind before deciding what to do.

His first instinct was to go to Zelda, but at this time of night, she wouldn't likely be awake. Even if she was, she still gave Link the cold shoulder, which he didn't quite fathom. He missed many things, but he desired her smile most of all. She rarely did anymore, what with the increased prayers she offered to Hylia and her taking on more research on the Divine Beasts than ever.

Link sighed. He had lost everything in this world, and now the only thing he had left of his two most essential lights was a telescope, a diamond, and mere memories.

"Didn't expect to find you out here."

"Me neither, Father."

Together the two of them watched the stars. They were all out tonight, and the moon shone as brightly as ever.

"You're thinking about her, aren't you?"

Link could only nod. He pointed at a specific collection of stars.

"That constellation right there, the one of the seagull. It was her favorite.

"The moon once terrified her. She was always afraid that it would fall every three days."

Shepherd only nodded.

Silence followed, and it was time for Link to ask his question.

"Did you ever...you know...forgive yourself...?"

The old warhorse rubbed his mustache. "The question is...did you ever forgive me, Link? I know how close you two were."

"She was my only sister, Father. Your only daughter. But yes, I...learned to forgive you."

Silence. And then, "Maybe you forgive me, but not myself. That night...still haunts me.

"A vacation turned nightmare. I could have saved them. But duty called. I had to leave them behind. I had to make sure the men under my command got out safely. A hundred men were more important than two."

A quick moment of quiet.

"Choose passion, and you save your own life while others die. Choose logic, and you save many lives while you destroy your own."

Father and son watched the stars in silence. The younger one clutched the telescope again and returned to his room.

As he left, a whisper behind him:

"Forgive me, Aryll."