im so tired
i cant tell if its exhaustion or i cant do anymore.
sometimes, I just wanna apologize.
Apologize to myself for the abuse i’ve done physically and mentally.
I want to apologize to my friends for how much I talk. how much i just blabber on and on about stupid things.
I want to apologize for not speaking when i should my thoughts scattered and floating, staying silent when my voice is needed.
I’m sorry. But knowing me, I wouldn’t accept my apology. so why should you?! Because i always accept apologies but this time i’m done. I dont want apologies i want you to do better i would say to myself.
i look in the mirror and all i want to do is reach in and give the broken girl a hug. The hug she needed and never received. the love that she needed and never received.
but as they say: easier said than done.
It just hinders me sometimes. I just can’t believe or take compliments, an annoying trait of mine but humbling.
People say im so kind and poised well i never let myself get over confident and yes there’s moments where i joke and say im the best but i dont believe it. because when it comes down to it, im still her. That broken girl that needs love so desperately as if it was water to drink.
I'm drowning but I'm craving, craving the necessary nutrients that I need.
how ironic i give and give and never receive.
but i just can’t comprehend why you would think it’s ok to break me when i didn’t know how to speak, breathe, or live. It just puzzles me that at so young you thought of me as a threat. well, good news, im not very threatening.
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Hey guys so I wanted to say something specifically about this poem, I usually won't say anything because I want readers to take it however it resonates. But I wanted to say that this poem is VERY close to my heart as it addresses the issues I have with my parents and obviously take this as you will but I wanted to say if you or someone you know is dealing with mental illness and are in a home where they can't recieve it. PLEASE find somewhere they can. I know first hand how down hill things can go and now I've healed but I still struggle to this day. Please don't let the people you're tied to by CHANCE control the choices you make for yourself. Always remember that you're here for a reason and don't let anyone tell you different even if they are family. Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed and please comment and vote! I love each and every one of you here and I hope you succeed! - ti <3
