Chapter Text
Come What May
When he looks at me
I know the boy sees things
Nobody else can see,
All of the secret fears inside
And all the craziness I hide
He looks into my soul
And reads me like nobody can
And he doesn't judge the man
He just takes me as I am.
Come what may, he believes
And that faith is something
I've never known before
Come what may, he loves me
And that love has helped me open a door
Making me love myself a little more.
It had been a very hectic two weeks and Louis was at the end of his tether. He was trying very hard to hold on to his sanity. For the past two weeks he had tried to be the loving supportive boyfriend to Harry, the boss of his multi billion dollar company, run his household, be a domestic partner and try to be as normal a human being as possible, all the while suppressing his urges which were raging inside of him, begging to be set loose. Not to mention he was sex deprived but he tried not to think about that too much but it was impossible with Harry sleeping in the same bed in just his boxers pressed up against him. And Louis did not like the fact that wanking was becoming a habit!
Harry had been panicking about his upcoming exams for the whole two weeks. He studied and revised like crazy even though he had not one, but two tutors who came in a different times every day to tutor him. Still he panicked and gave himself anxiety attacks and Louis came home everyday from the office to find him in his study buried in books and papers, chewing on his pen while tapping away on his laptop. Louis had sympathized with him because as Harry had pointed out, these were his first exams of his first term at Uni and he needed to do good, better than good even if he had to excel when the finals came. Louis had given him countless neck rubs and shoulder massages while constantly praising his efforts and how well he was doing and assuring him over and over again that he will ace all his exams. And he loved how Harry trusted in his words and gave him that dopey smile that made Louis' heart melt and his dick harden.
Things between them were much better. Harry hadn't expressed any fear towards him in the past few days and he hadn't had anymore nightmares which Louis was grateful for. However, Anthony had pointed out during one of his private sessions with Louis that what Harry was doing was shutting down those memories, locking them away in his brain behind a door labeled "Denial". He told Louis that Harry had shown these symptoms during their sessions. Anthony had explained to Louis that Harry was acting as if he didn't remember what had happened at all and that worried Anthony a lot. It was not a healthy way to deal with trauma but many did it, feeling safer if they pretended that it never happened. Anthony told Louis that this might exhibit itself in difference of behavior, anxiety and panic attacks, detachment and depression. Louis had noticed none of these changes in Harry. If anything, Harry had become more clingy to Louis and the only anxiety and panic attacks he was having were all related to his exams.
Harry had also healed from his physical injuries that he himself had delivered to him and for that Louis was even more grateful because if there was anything worse than watching Harry being afraid of him, was watching Harry limp and wince in pain every time he sat or stood. Every time Harry changed clothes or walked out of the bathroom in his boxers, Louis inconspicuously surveyed his injuries. The welts on the back of this thighs had faded to a pale greenish yellow but where the leather of the belt had broken the skin, the scars remained like faint white lines kriss crossing the back of his pale thighs. Louis hoped that given more time, those scares would eventually disappear. He didn't want visible reminders of what he had done to him. His brain will make sure to remind him enough without him having to see the evidence.
