Fall Of An Empire.
Every broken piece of me, will always fit with every missing piece of you.
R.M Drake.
By the time Louis returned home, he was an emotional wreck. He parked his Range Rover in front of the garage, once again not bothering to garage it. He turned the ignition off and sat in the car, his hands on the steering wheel and rested his forehead on his hands. Harry was gone and this time it felt final. It was final. Louis' heart knew it but his mind was struggling with all that had happened to come to terms with it. Harry had left him. Louis felt his heart ache in his chest, pure pain that made him gasp. Harry had left him and he had gone to Craig. So many thoughts were going through Louis' mind like did Harry even love him anymore? Had Harry ever loved him? Had this whole fight been an excuse because secretly Harry loved Craig and he needed to find an excuse to leave Louis so he could go to Craig?
Stop being so paranoid! The boy is so in love with you and you know it. And let's be honest, he's too real and innocent to fake a ten month relationship!
Louis beat his fist on the steering wheel. He wasn't being paranoid! It made sense. Why call Craig out of all his friends? Why Craig? Louis felt angry and sad and heartbroken and self pity was creeping in. He had failed Harry. He had taken him for granted and had failed him and broken his heart. Why didn't Harry understand that his boys meant nothing to him? They were just a necessary means for him to keep his anger and frustrations at bay and keep Harry safe! How could Harry even suggest to him that he choose between him and them? There was no fucking choice to be made!
He felt used. And not enough for you. You can't blame the boy now can you?
Louis' mind threw at him many scenarios. The man from the shop had told him that he had found Harry sleeping in his shop door. He had slept outside in that storm and Louis had driven by that shop many times last night and had failed to find him. If he had...if he had found him, Harry would be here right now, warm in their bed having make up sex and sorting out their problems together. Maybe he was hurt? Maybe that was why he had called Craig! Craig was a doctor after all! But in his heart, Louis knew that wasn't the case. And if he was to be honest with himself, he knew that Harry wanted nothing to do with him anymore.
Can you blame the boy for reaching the end of his tether? Let's face it, you pushed him past his limit line. For him to react the way he did, he must be hurt beyond reason.
Louis got out of the car, leaving Harry's clothes in the back seat. He felt exhausted. His soul was exhausted. He felt lost without Harry. He needed him so badly right now and he didn't want to go back to a life without him.There was no life before Harry and there would be no life after Harry.
Then get rid of your boys. Choose him. Go after him. Fight for him. You are the one that's keeping him away! You are in love with him! This is not some silly crush you have. You. Love. Him! You had a fight. Fix it!
Louis went into his study and plucked a bottle of Jamesons from the drinks cabinet and headed upstairs. He pushed open the bedroom door and the pain that assaulted him at the sight of the room nearly brought him to his knees. This bedroom held so many beautiful memories. Louis closed the door behind him and walked across the room and sat down on Harry's side of the bed. His fluffy Spiderman socks were on the floor beside the bed, the book he had been reading "Black Butterfly" by RM Drake was on his bedside table next to his phone, his wallet, his ring. Louis closed his eyes letting the desire of wanting Harry beside him right now eat him up on the inside. He missed him so much! He broke the seal on the bottle, opened it and took a healthy swallow. He didn't care that it was not yet seven in the morning! He was not going to survive the day sober.
