Stripping My Soul Bare Naked For The Love of You.
Pay attention, I hope that you listen cause I let my guard down
Right now I'm completely defenseless
For your eyes only, I show you my heart
For when you're lonely and forget who you are
I'm missing half of me when we're apart
Now you know me, for your eyes only
Harry settled Louis in the spare bedroom upstairs right across from his own room but he himself couldn't settle down and go to sleep. The shock of having Louis here was too much and adrenaline was still coursing through his body making his heart race and his nervous system alive like a live wire. He hadn't seen Louis for over two weeks and here he was, right across the hall from him. Louis had come back for him! Harry paced his room and thought all about what Louis had told him. He had given up his boys for him! He had put the house on the market! Louis wanted new beginnings and a fresh start too and Harry wondered if Louis could actually really truly give him those? Could Harry trust him and let himself go back to him? Harry couldn't deny how nervous Louis had been when he had told him that he would tell him the truth and let him into his past but was that enough for Harry to allow him back into his life? He was beginning to heal and embrace his new life.
What new life? You have no life without him. Don't kid yourself with these doubts. You know you want him back into your life and still take him even if he will make a mess out of you and your heart repeatedly. Face it, there is no you without him!
Harry groaned at his invading subconscious but it was right! He was just kidding himself thinking he was healing. He was just adjusting himself into a life he didn't want just because Louis had left him. Harry wondered if he was ready to hear all of Louis' past. He had wanted Louis to let him in so badly but now that Louis was ready, he was worried that maybe he might not be strong enough to handle Louis' past at all. What if it was really bad and he couldn't handle it? He was fairly sure it would crush Louis if he was too weak to handle it because Louis was ready to open up and let himself be vulnerable and Harry was afraid he would let him down. What if it was so bad that it would change things between them? What if it was so bad that his point of view of Louis changed altogether? What then? He ran a hand through his short hair in frustration. Louis was depending on him dammit and nothing that was Louis' past should influence his present. Whatever happened in Louis' past, would stay in the past. Harry would handle it!
'I can and I will,' he told himself with determination. 'He's depending on me and I need to be his strength if it fails him,' Harry reasoned with himself. 'He needs me and I will not let him down. Come on Harry, don't be a wuss. You can do this for him. Louis needs you now and you will be strong for him and do this!' He looked at the clock on his bedside table. 4:15 am. There was no sleeping now. Useless trying. He should get ahead start on the day since Louis had told him that they should probably leave by nine am as it was a two and a half hour drive to Doncaster. Harry decided to get started and prepare himself for the day ahead because he knew it was going to be a tough long one.
He went into his bathroom and took a long hot shower, washing his hair which was now much easier and quicker to wash. He took his time under the hot water, as he tried to calm his worried mind and let the steaming water wash away his strain and relax his tired muscles. When he was done, he wrapped a towel around his waist and stood in front of the mirror above the sink. He ran a hand across the mirror removing the condensation so he could see himself. He towel dried his hair and shaved. Then he brushed his teeth. His hair was easy and quick to style now. He combed it through and applied a small amount of mousse to pop out his curls and keep them away from his face.
