Cancer | Death Note

Chapter 9

"Light, wake up. Watari says it's time for lunch." L said, waking him up and he slowly opened his eyes, feeling like crying. He stood there, staring at him and blinked his eyes, feeling somewhat sad. "Light, are you okay? Did I trigger something?" L asked him and he shook his head no, slowly getting up to the table. During lunch, Light stared into his plate, not all that hungry.

"Light, are you alright? I know you love curry rice. Even your mother told me so." Watari noted, which he shook his head no. He then placed his head down, feeling horrible. L held his hand, kissing his cheek. The younger Yagami moaned, clenching his stomach and moaned some more. He then started shaking uncontrollably and wheezed, which deeply concerned those around him and he fainted. Of course, it wasn't necessary to get him to a hospital for now as they can't exactly be sure what it is. Watari decided to then call his family and tell them to be in the apartment right away.

It was not long after, Light woke up and felt the need to vomit. He was given a bucket and then vomited into it. He grabbed his pinky finger on his left hand and felt this tightening sensation to it. Unknowingly, he didn't know if it had to do with his fainting episode as well as his depression but holy mother Jesus, it was seriously feeling tight and he wasn't even wearing a ring. L gave Light a bit of his curry from before and he forced himself to eat it. He mostly was able to and then went to brush his teeth, feeling a little bit better but mostly tired still.

The door knocked and Watari went to answer it. Light looked at L and smiled a little, but closed his eyes and fell asleep in his lap, tears streaming down his eyes. L knew he was deeply depressed mostly on the possibility of losing him from cancer and how it'll all be if he did die from it. "Light, it's going to be okay. You're safe inside of me. Don't cry." L softly said, kissing his forehead. Their family showed up and saw Light sleeping.

"Light, are you okay?" Soichiro asked him sadly, taking his glasses off, holding his hand.

"He's been weak today. He did eat a little, but not much. He's still rather upset about me possibly dying." L explained to him and Sachiko. Light continued to breathed heavily and L held his hand.

"Light, I'm sorry for scaring you and making you suicidal even more than ever. I promise when I beat this, I'll give us a vacation and make sure it makes us truly happy again, including you." L said, kissing his hand and forehead, stroking his cheek. Light then woke up slowly and started crying uncontrollably, hugging L and cried harder, feeling everything messing him up.

It was now Saturday and Watari went to the airport to pick up Roger. Near wanted to join along in this trip and after some consideration, he was able to. When they landed in the airport, L saw Light smiling a little. He was still mostly depressed but tried to hide it from Near and Roger. Near especially, given he likes and respects him. He and Roger ended up showing up and Near immediately ran to hug L, while Roger and Watari hugged and kissed each other. Near then saw L's appearance has changed since the last time they saw each other.

"You're bald, Ryuzaki!" He exclaimed, surprised to see his older brother like this.

"Yeah, I have cancer. Didn't you forget that?" He told him, trying to assure him that calmly.

"Almost." He said, then handed him from his backpack, a card that he and all the children signed. "We made this card for you and to say to get well soon." Near said, pointing to his name below. L smiled, feeling himself touched by all 100 of these kids writing their names down and saying little cute messages. He hugged Near and stroked his hair.

"You know something, Near? Even though I'm still sick, I'll always try to have the energy I once had, including being around you and playing with you." He told him, assuring the white haired 13 year old boy this.

"Thank you, Ryuzaki. I really appreciate hearing these words from you." He smiled, knowing his fear of L possibly dying is gone now. Even though he won't die, he might if the cancer spreads. Light tried to smile, but he didn't and went to sit down. Roger saw him and spoke to the younger Yagami.

"Hi, Light." He greeted him, sitting next to him. Light was truly depressed and it was really hurting him emotionally and mentally. "Light, Watari has told me about you having depression." He told him and he nodded, not able to answer as he really was not in the mood to talk.

"I feel like I'm not good enough for anyone. Ryuzaki having cancer is what broke me entirely, as if my life wasn't any harder for me emotionally. For instance, when I was 17, my dad started becoming chief of the NPA and wasn't there for us as much as he was. This made me horribly alone as I didn't know who talk with this to. My mom and sister couldn't help me and I had no friends.

None of my teachers could understand. It even got worse when I saw the Death Note and started killing criminals. I thought this was a good feeling after all, but then realized how much it was hurting me more than ever and I simply gave up after two years. That's when Ryuzaki and I ended up as friends and he never accused me of Kira again, hence our relationship afterwards. I still see myself as Kira and even though it's now two years, I can't help but wonder if I chose to end my life, all the pain and suffering I went through, would at least help me and all the killings that occurred would stop." He explained, recapping everything that's happened in his life from the past four years.

"Light, I'm truly sorry this all has happened to you. But you need to understand that all of this is not because of you. It all happened because you are in a dark place and continue to be. You can't let every negative part of your life get to you. Some of it actually could help you, but instead, you're making this sound like you really are alone in this world and have no one to talk with this to." Roger assured him, watching the light brown haired 21 year old cry.

"How can I be okay, if everything goes bad each time? God, I feel so useless every time!" He sobbed harder and ran away. L was about to catch him but Near stopped him.

"Ryuzaki, let him do what he needs to do." He told him, holding his hand. Watari held onto Roger's hand, hoping everything will be okay.