We Are The X-Men

Shadowed Past

WARNING: Trauma and self-loathing, description of a panic attack, angst, claustrophobia, intrusive thoughts, minor violence and injury (fight scene stuff)

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A/N: This is a Reader-Insert fanfic, so I'll be using a few abbreviations. Here's a key:

Y/N = Your Name

Avatar = Your codename

Other Notes: Reader is she/her and I pretty much write out Kurt's accent, replacing w's with v's and th's with z's. If it turns out it's too hard for people to read that way, I'll change it.

Also! Here's some translations for German words Kurt uses:

Ja = Yes

Meine freundin = My friend

Mutti and Vati = Mom and Dad

Schatz = Treasure (as a term of endearment)

Enjoy! :)

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"..Happy birthday to youuu~!"

You cheer and clap along with everyone in the mansion's dining room as Kurt, adorned with a dorky blue and yellow spotted cone hat, takes a deep breath and blows out sixteen candles. He laughs and takes a bow, "Zhank you, zhank you!"

"Congrats, old timer!" Evan quips, and Kurt huffs indignantly. "I'm not old! I'm... how do you say?.. distinguished!"

"That's another way of saying old." Evan smirks, and you chuckle, looking around. The grown-ups are shaking their heads with wry smiles, Ororo putting her hands on her hips. "I suppose I am ancient, then?"

As Evan sputters trying to save himself, the rest of the X-kids continue to celebrate the birthday boy.

"What are you waiting for?" Scott asks, Jean jumping in, "Yeah, open a present!"

"Okay, okay!" Kurt agrees, his excitement peaking when he reaches for the pile of gifts on the table. By chance, he grabs yours first and your face gets red.

'I hope he likes it..' You wish nervously, not in the habit of gift giving. Kitty spent a day brainstorming with you until you landed on something.

The warmth in the room swells when Kurt lays his eyes on it, and you're relieved when he grins at you. "A charm bracelet! And look!" He holds up one of the charms with a laugh, the one you specially picked out. "It's a Smurf!"

You giggle, remembering your awkward first encounter with Kurt. Hopefully, this charm makes him smile and laugh like he did then.

"Zhis is perfect, meine freundin!" He exclaims, teleporting to you and giving you a big hug.

"You're welcome." You reply, the emotions pulsing in your chest happily.

"See? I told you there's nothing to worry about, he loves it!" Kitty elbows you, and you blush.

"No vay, you vere vorried about zhat?" Kurt exclaims, "It's amazing! I don't know how I'm going to top it vhen it's your turn."

You hearts pangs uncomfortably as Kitty speaks. "Oh yeah, when is your birthday, Y/N? I should put it in my phone!"

Eyes fall on you, and you shift awkwardly. "Um, I don't know.. when my birthday is.."

There's a silence that feels like it lasts forever, every emotion in the room making you feel worse. Pity, regret, embarrassment.. You want it to go back to happy. You need them to be happy. Oh no, you haven't ruined Kurt's party, have you?