her sanctuary (sequel)

5. c.old shoulder

The book will start move a tad bit faster, just a heads up

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"WHAT, you must have done your test wrong how did this happen" I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my fucking chest, why is everything being taken away from me. Why is the little bit of happiness I have being taken away from me?

"Miss Samuels, we did two hearing screenings to ensure that the diagnostic was reliable, unfortunately, the results came back the same each time. Deja has partial hearing loss".

"It's possible for her hearing to improve with age but that isn't certain". I started tuning her out, I look intensely at the ceiling as tears started pouring from my eyes. I was starting to become numb to the continuous bad news that I'd been getting in the last year. If it's not my parents dying then it's my son dying, if that's not enough then it's finding out that my daughter is partially deaf.

I don't want to feel bad for myself though, I'm in a sad predicament but I control how I react and how it affects me. I want to grieve my son, and I want to reflect on his short-lived life but after that, I have to start thinking of how I'm going to adapt to this new life.

1 week later

I never imagined that both me and Demetrius would be getting strolled out of the hospital together, luckily, I was healing up quickly which meant I would be able to fully tend to Demetrius soon. As of right now, we are surrounded by family and friends, Aadalia and Layla are here, and even Alexis Demetrius's younger sister flew down here.

The girls would be at the house long hours on end to cook plus clean the house for me which I greatly appreciated, Bashar and Shooter have been coming over to keep Metri company.

Being around so much love and care was really taking the load off the stress that was going on. Demetrius has been a bit distant, most of his answers are one-worded which at times has me feeling like I'm burdening him in some way.

It has me asking myself if he might have fallen out of love with me or maybe he regrets having a child with me. Everything feels like it's falling apart with him.

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Everything around me has been having me hot, I should be happy and celebrating the arrival of my daughter, but I still can't get over the fact that she won't be able to live a normal life like most kids because of her hearing. My son gone on top of the too, I don't know if God is trying to punish me for some shit, I did in the past but I'm ready to give up.

The pain is becoming too much, I feel like can't be the man I promised Aaliyah id always be if I'm in this wheelchair. This situation has me mad at life, mad at myself crazy how you can feel like you are at your peak to feeling like a shell of who you used to be.

I notice the change within her, I notice that even when are friends are around cracking jokings she's always worried about me. I notice how gloomy she's gotten; I've noticed that she's more worried about Deja and I than she is about herself.

I notice it all but don't see the point in speaking on it. Right now, we're both going through shit, I think it's just best to have our own space regardless of what that may look like.

Every day my heart breaks a little more knowing that I get to continue on with life when my only son never got the chance. I never got to hold onto in little hand or kiss on his little face. I never got to tell him how much I loved him and remind him that he doesn't need to hide shit from me cause ill always have his back.

I was just casually gazing into the nothingness of our house, yeah Lee bought a crib while I was in the hospital. Pregnant and all she still managed to move all of our stuff into a new crib, she never fails to surprise me.

"Metri you okay baby" Lee came out of the corner as she breastfed Deja, the look in her eyes was a look that I was slowly getting accustomed to. Constant sadness and despair in her pretty brown almond-shaped eyes, the same eyes that held so much happiness and pessimism.

"Yeah, im fine" I was lying through my teeth, this became our little dance she asked if I was ok, I told her yes she continue pushing me to talk and I'd raise my voice at her. It wasn't something I was proud of but this became our daily routine.

"Are you sure love, you kno-"

  "Aaliyah, I'M PRETTY FUCKING SURE I JUST TOLD YOU I WAS FINE" The moment those words left my mouth I regretted it, she looked crushed but that look quickly disappeared before she held her head low and walked away.

"FUCK" I exhaled defeatedly.

Wasn't like a nigga could run after she my shit don't work.

Dinner had gotten so awkward between us, she ate in the kitchen while I ate in the living room watching basketball. I lived like an unhappy couple getting ready for a divorce, I love Lee more than she'll ever know but nowadays I have a poor way of showing it.

By now Deja was sleeping upstairs so it was just Liyah and I, the sound of the tv was mildly playing as dishes could be heard raddling in the background. I turned to my right and saw her putting her plate in the sink. She turned around and made her way towards me from what I'm guessing was to get my plate also.

I turned my head quickly before we had the chance to make eye contact.

"You done," she said vexingly.

"Yeah, preciate it" She didn't even spare me a glance before she walked by to the kitchen to do the dishes.

Fuck this shit man

CHile Aaliyah and Demetrius are in shambles lowkey

any predictions or thoughts?