paper poetry II

kissable

back at the aftermath

Thought it was all just back to friends

Then why am I feeling this again?

Stop thinking you weren't missed at all

Please tell me why you look so kissable!

My heart drops when you touch my hand

Oh no, I want to taste your lips again

I swear, I didn't even want to fall

Then why, but why, just why

Why do you look so kissable??

And suddenly every song is about you again.

Throat closing in tighter, as I want to sing.

My body knows me better, restraining me,

Making me nervous how Friday might be.

Swinging in the evening, imagining stars

Black that has always been neon, sounds of distant cars,

Bejewelled velvet and giggles and a soft wind.

Just wanted to feel a piece of you in my mind.

But skies are blue, sheer clouds painting castles,

Which you could never visit, even if you wanted.

Alongside existence there comes the night

When minds bloom like flowers,

When dreams run wild

Of secretive kisses in the darklit pale

Maybe a goodbye, maybe a promise

And rocket ships sail

Put the picture in a violet glowing light

Your hand in mine grasping

And holding on tight

And gasping for air in between hearts

Deepest desire unburied again

This truth tearing me apart.

A white veil occasion

Stars in your eyes in an innocent gown

Show white, pearls and petals

Hair twisted, light brown.

Veiled roses will stay to dry of the day

And memories, pictures

Moonlit fantasy astray.

A smile so bright it might make me cry

For the ring will be golden

And it will not be mine.

Have awoken at night,

you by my side,

but we were only dreaming.

Our silence is no longer unbearable,

or awkwardly terrible,

yet heartbeats skip a little every time

that your eyes shine brilliantly.

Those poems about beauty,

romance, love. I am still writing.

Has time apart made the distance so hard?

I fear I'm losing you. At times I've already lost.

It only seems to push me into falling apart

While you're doing perfectly fine with the new breeze.

Mine is storming at times, a stormcloud of shards

And it slices up my veins, till I go numb for weeks again.

You're amazing without me, enjoy summer, travelling far,

But never actually did take the train in my direction.

This loneliness of you comes back like a crashing star

And I feel guilt, when I only now saw your missing poetry.

Sometimes I'd melt my heartbeats to wake up in your arms

And sometimes it scares me how little I care about you now.

Why do I lie for your comfort

You don't care for mine

And I'm so alone all the time

When only you have left me

But I'd rather keep pretension safe

Than let this truth run free

Because I'm immature and selfish

Where you glow so grown

And the facade can't crumble

Or else you'll hate me as well

And I rather hurt in our golden cage

Than from being thrown to the wolves

I see our past in photographs

The feeling was mystical, mutual

Now I feel draining pain again.

I think
I kissed this girl

But
Who is this girl

Haven't seen her in months

Still won't manage to lose this brutal

Fantasy that's keeping hope on heaven.

I know
You were this girl

And
I miss this girl

the difference made the distance.

I go back to December every time.

When my future hadn't happened.

When my daydreams were alike

To what I now dream at night.

You sleep tightly and lightly and fine

And my darkness shows me mares.

While I cry my heart out no one cares.

Over shiny rings and a goodbye kiss

I wake and dread the light of day for it.

pomegranates and tea

My heart beats faster the closer you come

Cuddle by my side, your head on my arm

Your face so close to mine just now

But I try to ignore my mind and how

It tells me that third time's the charm, for sure

But what if it fails? I'd rather keep us this pure