DSAF Oneshots

3. Dresses

Pictures shown above are our favourite crayon men's dresses in this story.

[Davesport, kind of a shitpost but also not, suggestive themes]

The two men stumbled drunkenly into their shared motel room, giggling their asses off.

"Sp-sportsy-! You crazy-ass motherfucker, why are we doin' this??" Dave slurred, words getting cut off by laughing.

"Because it's fucking funny, Dave!" Jack replied. "Don't tell me we need a better reason than that!" He grabbed Dave by the arm and dragged him over to the bed, taking the clothes they previously bought with them.

"You can go first, Old Sport! Since it was your idea!!" Dave suggested.

Shrugging, Jack unbuttoned his colourful shirt and threw it in some corner, to be found the next morning. He then undid his belt, pulled down his trousers and kicked off his shoes then chucked them to the shirt.

Dave picked up the material lying on the bed next to him and tossed it at Jack, hitting him in the face.

Jack held out his arms, taking a look at his outfit. He moved the piece of clothing so he could look at Dave, showing him a shit-eating grin.

Dave sighed loudly, "Come onnnn, Sportsy!! Just put it on, already!" He whined at his orange counterpart.

Jack lifted the clothing above his head and dropped it so it would fall onto his body. He put his arms through the sleeve holes and tugged at it until it was comfy. Dave started giggling to himself.

"What the fuck are you laughing at, Dave?" Jack snarled at him. This only made Dave laugh even more.

But, he managed to form a sentence at last. "You- you look so fuckin' stupid, Old Sport, but incredible at the same time-! Do a little twirl for me, wouldya?"

Jack blushed and huffed. He spun around, making the skirt of the dress he was wearing flare out. Dave cackled some more at this.

Jack picked up the dress that Dave was meant to wear and shook it while saying. "You're turn now, Davey~" He said with a playful undertone.

The realisation hit Dave like a truck. "Wait, wait, wait- you actually expect me to wear that thing?" Jack rolled his eyes and answered:

"Yeah, dummy. If I have to wear this shit then you do too!"

Reluctantly, Dave stood up and got undressed. (He kept his pants + socks on tho dw)

He stepped into the dress and pulled it up so it was covering his chest.

"Hey Sportsy, couldya help a pal out, here?" Dave turned around and showed Jack the zipper that clearly needed doing up, since Dave had to hold up the dress so it wouldn't fall down.

Jack sighed, walked over to Dave and zipped it up. "Thanks, babe." Dave said with a smirk, emphasising the new name. Jack's cheeks warmed up at the nickname his friend had called him.

Dave did a spin, and said, "How do I look?" Waiting for an answer.

Jack's facade visibly turned more red at the sight. "Uh- um.. You look... great!"

"Uh-huh...." Dave responded, with a smug look on his face.

- - A FEW HOURS LATER - -

Dave was checking himself out in the tall mirror in their room, while Jack was reading some dirty magazine he found underneath the bed.

"Hey, Sportsy..." Dave said to his friend. Jack grunted in acknowledgement.

"Does this dress make my ass look big?" Jack's eyes widened at the odd question.

He looked up and saw Dave standing, his body facing sideways but his head turned to the mirror.

"Uh-" Jack stuttered. 'How the hell am I supposed to answer that?!' He thought to himself. 'If I say yes, he'll think I think his ass is big, but if I say no, he'll get offended! And if I say maybe, he'll just bug me for a better answer for the rest of the night!!!!' 

"Well?"

Fuck it. Jack stood up and walked over to Dave. He looked him dead in the eye and said.

"Yes."

Then smacked his friend's ass harshly. Dave gasped in shock and turned around swiftly. His expression quickly changed from surprised to a smirk.

He laughed playfully. "Damn, Sportsy... You feel that strongly about my ass?" (yes its cringe i'd like to move on)

Jack grinned back and tilted his head to the side slightly. He walked back over to where he was sitting before and flopped down on the bed, picking up the magazine he was reading.

Dave followed him over and sat next to him, inspecting his friend.

'Does he feel the same?' He wondered. I mean, Jack literally just smacked his ass not even 5 minutes ago. And he didn't say 'no homo' after, so maybe...

"Sport?" He said, getting Jack's attention once more.

...

"Nevermind..." Goddammit, Dave. You had the perfect chance and you just left it. Now Jack's attention is on that magazine again.

Jack suddenly stood up and stated, "I'm gonna get changed out of this god-awful dress. Are you going to too?" He asked.

"Nah, I'm stayin' like this." Dave replied.

Jack raised an eyebrow but decided not to question anything. "Alright then, you weirdo." He said jokingly. "I'll be back in a bit." Then he walked into the small bathroom that was conjoined with their bedroom, leaving Dave with just his thoughts.

Dave looked at the ground, silently debating in his mind whether or not to confess his feelings towards Jack.

Eventually, he decided against it. Jack was the last friend he had left, and he didn't want to ruin their friendship. Especially while on vacation with him. Imagine how awkward the flight back would be!

A few minutes later, Jack appeared from the bathroom. Dave looked up and watched him sit on the opposite side to Dave.

"Are you actually gonna sleep in that?" He asked, with a judgmental tone.

Dave laughed and shrugged. "Maybe. You don't know how comfy this thing is!" Jack rolled his eyes at Dave's reply and put the blanked over his own body. The bed was surprisingly soft, one might even say congenial. He switched off the lamp at his side of the bed, leaving half the room in darkness.

"Well, whatever you decide to sleep in, turn off that light when you do." Jack wasn't one for brightness, especially whilst trying to sleep.

"Alright, Sportsy." Jack turned over, facing away from Dave and mumbled a quick:

"'Night, Dave." Before drifting off to sleep.

Dave replied with a simple, "'Night." And pulled the covers over himself. Dave switched off the lamp as he was told. He watched as Jack's breathing evened out. Then he quietly muttered, "I love you." Under his breath, then fell asleep too.

- - 1074 words - -