the unexpected twist (kyman)

12. the wedding

(Pretend like Clyde's sister is nonexistent or sum idk)
Btw this one is so long idk why but it just is

*still Eric's pov*
I wake up to an excruciating pain in my stomach and I realized I hadn't eaten since lunchtime yesterday.
Fuck.
I turn on my phone and start reading my messages .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
                  Kahl the joo
-------------------------------------------------
Dude!
    
                                           What.

Is it true your
Mom's marrying
Clyde's dad?

                                    Why do you
                                     Care?

I just wanna
Know damn.
      
                                     Yes it's true
                                     Ffs.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Why does kyle always have to remind me of all the shit I have to go through?

I smell a delicious scent coming from downstairs.
Smells like bacon and eggs.
Fucking finally.

I walk down the stairs to see my mum in the kitchen frying eggs and placing them down on Clyde's plate.

Wait. CLYDE'S PLATE?

"Morning sleepyhead! " my mum chimes, getting Clyde's attention and he looks at me.

" whats Clyde doing here. " I ask her, crossing my arms

" I'm just looking after him while roger is getting shopping. Thats all. Now, come sit! I've made your favorite! "

God dammit. I can't argue with bacon and eggs.

I sit in front of Clyde and rest my cheek on my hand

"Nice pajamas " Clyde muffles with an abnormal amount of bacon in his mouth

My mom puts down a fresh egg and some bacon onto my plate and I tuck in silently .

I don't want this guy walking around my house. Nor do I want his dad fucking around with my mum.
Ugh.

*skip to the day of the weding*
(loud ass alarm blaring from Clyde's Phone)
"Wake your ugly ass up" I shout, throwing my pillow at his face.
"Okay okay I am " he replied, throwing my pillow back at me. Little shit.

I get out of my bed and see by mom rushing around the house getting everything ready.

"Good morning poopsikins! Is Clyde up yet? "
"Yes mem he's up" I answer annoyed
Why does MY mom care more about stupid Clyde than me? I'M her son not him!

*Clyde's pov*
Why is cartman always so jealous of everyone? Am I the only one who has noticed this?
I should probably get up though otherwise my dad will get pissed off at me.
I open my wallet and look at the 100$ note I won from a bet with Tolkien. I feel really bad though. We betted on Kyle and cartman ending up dating and when word came through they started dating, he gave me 100$ . But I'm not buying it. I know I won the bet but they are most definitely fake dating. They only ever hold hands once in a while and barely peck each other. They call each other fatass and Jew.

It's so painfully obvious.
I hope Tolkien doesn't find out and demand his 100$ back.

Maybe I could get them to really date? Besides, I'm 99.9999% sure that fatass likes Kyle. I'm sure I'll work something out before Tolkien calls bluff.

*in the wedding car*
"Clyde, honey, are you sure you're not carsick? You look very pale! " liane asks me, pinching my cheek in order to give it a bit of color.
Cartman scoffs
"He's fine, he always looks like that" my dad answers for me. Hes right. I've always looked like I was about to pass out any minute and it wasn't the best.

"Mem I feel a little bit carsick why don't you care about mee" cartman whines, kicking the back of her seat .
"Awh sweety, I'm sorry " she replied, stroking his head as he smirks as me
Jelous dickhead.

We finally arrive at the venue and we all get out of the car.
The photographer flashes his camera at me, causing me to flinch back and fall onto the car. How embarrassing.

I take my seat in the front next to cartman and fix my hair.
We listen to the priest for like 15 minutes in silence
"This is so boring I'm about to die" he whispers to me resting his head on his hand.
"Glad you feel the same. I think I'm about to fall asleep. " I whisper back, turning to him, smiling
We talk as quietly as possible, giggling and telling stories to entertain each other.
Cartman isn't as bad as I expected him to be!

*skip to after the wedding at the party*

We sit down and get settled as my newly wed parents cut up the cake. Cartman gets himself a fat piece of cake and I get myself a smaller one. "I don't really like cake. I'm more of a savoury type of person to be honest" I tell eric.
"If you don't want it I'll have it, it's really good"
I give him my cake and go get myself some fries from another table.

Liane and my dad go off to dance or something and left us alone at the table.
I notice cartman take a sip of his moms wine, then another, then the whole glass
I sit there in silence as he pours another glass.

I'm not quite sure how to react to I ask him for some.
It tastes lovely.
I really hope my dad won't get mad.

After a moment of silence and awkwardness, I start up a conversation.
A  drunken one.