Being Happy

Part Eleven...

Part Eleven

Violet...

I can't believe he showed up here, after two years I had seen him twice in one day, it was my only chance to impress my new boss and he had to come and ruin it.

Although in seeing him it made something seem to snap in me, like this calmness, but at the same time like I was ready to jump out of my skin at every moment.

As I store the last of the serving trays I feel my back cramp up and my neck ache, it had been a long time since I had slept and it had been a long time standing around in stupid kitten heels.

"Hey." I hear behind me making me jump and hit my head on the counter with a dull thud.

"Oww." I breathe out the pain and rub it as I rise to my feet to see the guy I didn't want to see or talk to right now. "What are you doing here? It's 2 am." I groan and undo the apron from around my waist.

"Can we talk?" he says scratching his neck and ruffling his beard... that stubbly beard I wish I could run my fingertips through.

"I have to lock up but sure." I shrug feeling my shoulders skin down and my body ache to just give up.

"Please will you sit with me?" he asks as I turn off the lights in the kitchen and move out to the dining room that was bathed in the light of warm table lamps. "I got you something." He smiles and takes my hand. I feel the jolt of electric pump in my heart as my adrenaline spikes, his smile makes my knees weak but my head aches at the thought of picking up the pieces. As he leads me to a table I spot a box on the chair, "Open it." he gestures as we take a seat. "I thought you might like something comfortable instead of wearing those heels."

Removing the lid I spot a pair of black converse, they were simple but they had a slipper like inside that would make my feet feel amazing. "I can't take this." I tell him guiltily pushing the shoes back to him.

"I insist." He says softly placing his hand over mine again. If he keeps touching me like this I am going to give in to him way too easily, I had built myself up for too long just to have my defence fall so quickly.

It's something about those hazel eyes filled with a love and a guilt that makes me nod and remove my kitten heels that had been straining my calves all day. The way he looks so put together in his suit but I can see Chase slipping away, the way his hair has grown scruffy and curly in length as the stubble across his chin and jaw looks rough against his skin. The way his eyes are slightly blood shot, just like the ones I had seen time again when looking in my own mirror.

"The night of the accident I almost killed myself in guilt and I've been killing myself over it every day since." He sighs like he was releasing so much pressure and weight from his shoulders. I clutch his hand in a soothing way, just for myself and for his sake, even for a moment if I can give him some comfort- even if I still know in my heart that he left me and acted out.

"But it wasn't your fault, if I had stayed; that truck still would have skipped a red light." I still soothe him, whilst my brain went haywire, I remember the impact of the truck- the way the car flipped and the sound of the scream erupting from my throat.

"I'm sorry I left you like that, I stayed at the hospital for as long as I could and for as long as I knew that you were okay. I had to leave Vi, I was in a bad place." It isn't until then that I realise the tears that had been threatening to spill all night had finally run their course down my cheeks, as he pulls his hand up and wipes them from the soft skin.

"And you think drinking here every night takes you out of that bad place? The only poison I see if the poison you put in yourself." The words come out hard, and harsh, just like the last night we'd been together. He couldn't hide his problems by taking a drink every time he needed to. And he sure as hell wouldn't be taking his problems out on me anymore.

"It fills the void in me where you used to be." He makes me look up from our hands, he looks so lost and broken, he looks for a moment like the Chase I fell in love with at first sight... or maybe first couple of sights.

"I need to lock up, would you like to walk me out?" I ask as I brush myself off and quickly change my shoes and grabbing my bag.

"Sure." he asks as he grabs a jacket from a bar stool and shimmies it on. "You were right by the way." He says as I grab the keys for the door, I raise my eyebrow in a confused look. "That you're fine without me." he blushes in the dim light, just before I turn them off and press in the code as we step out in the cold morning air.

"And what about you? Are you fine without me?" I ask with a raised brow, looking concerned as he frowns and looks away sheepishly. Please say yes, please say yes. Please don't tell me you would be more than fine if we were together because I am ten seconds from spilling it out.

"I promise." He says as he nods but he gives me a fake smile. "Goodnight Violet." He says as he steps forward and kisses me on my cheek which takes me by surprise.

"Goodnight Chase." Please don't be goodbye. I think as I watch him walk away to his car, leaving me stunned by his kiss, as my hand moves to my cheek like I am trying to keep his lips there. "I miss you." I whisper as I watch his car pull out of the parking lot.