Hello 1980!

Part 8 - Crash (Part 1)

February 22, 1980

11:54pm

"Wow, Fez, this place is amazing!" Jackie says as she enters the hotel room Fez booked for them. She is still flying high from telling off Edna at the truck stop. She feels so good; she may even do it with Fez tonight. This is the best she's felt in ages and she wants to keep feeling that way. Even if there are no sparks with Fez, it should still be fun. She wants to have fun.

Fez walks into the hotel room in a daze. He's been that way the whole drive, but Jackie hasn't noticed. Jackie doesn't love him, it is so obvious now.

As soon as Fez closes the door, Jackie rushes over and wraps her arms around him. She plants her lips all over Fez. He tries to kiss her back, but he can't. It feels wrong.

"Jackie," Fez says. Jackie doesn't hear him. "Jackie, stop," he says, pulling her arms down. Jackie doesn't understand, but her heart sinks. It's something in Fez's eyes, a sadness when he looks at her.

"Jackie, why are you with me?" Fez asks. He holds her hands in his, but they're weightless as if they aren't there.

Jackie is struck by the question. "What?"

"Why are you with me?" Fez repeats.

"Because you are an amazing, sweet, wonderful man who loves me and cares about me and-" Jackie babbles. She feels like she's teetering on the edge of a cliff and she tries desperately not to fall off.

"Do you love me?" Fez asks.

Jackie hesitates a moment too long.

"That's what I thought," Fez drops her hands and turns to leave.

"No, wait, Fez!" Jackie grabs his arm and pulls him back.

"You don't love me," Fez states.

"But I want to! You have no idea how badly I want to! I've been trying so hard-" Jackie pleads.

"Jackie," Fez sighs. "It shouldn't have to be so hard. You either love me or you don't. And you don't."

Jackie lets go and steps back. She is falling, crashing to the ground below. "Why are you doing this?" she asks as tears escape down her cheeks.

"I heard what you said. To Edna," Fez says. Jackie's stomach drops. Now she understands the pain in Fez's eyes. He continues, "If he's still in your heart, there's no room for me."

Jackie sniffs back a sob. What can she say to that? How can she fix this? "I'm so sorry, Fez," she says finally.

Fez looks Jackie up and down. She is beautiful, all he ever wanted. His heart aches, but deep down he knows it's for the best. "I'm sorry too." He grabs his coat.

"Where are you going?" Jackie asks. She's trying not to cry.

"I'm sorry, Jackie, but I can't be here right now," Fez turns away and leaves. He didn't look back.

Jackie sits down on the bed. She brings her hand to her mouth as if she could hold the feelings in. She hurt Fez. She doesn't love him, but the guilt of the pain she's caused eats at her soul. She failed. Another relationship failed. If she failed with Fez, someone who adores her, how can she ever make it with anyone else? It's not like she can run back to Steven. He told her to go away only a couple of hours ago.

This is the lowest she has ever been. She was rejected by Fez, how could she ever get lower than that? Nothing is turning out the way she wanted. She doesn't live in a mansion. She isn't on TV. She isn't rich. She isn't married. She is alone. She cries. It doesn't matter if it makes her look ugly; there is no one around to see.