What a Babe! (ryan ross)

♢ This Comment May Be Offensive ♢

I spent the day a Ryan's, and we had fun baking shitty muffins that didn't rise, and failing to cook a frozen pizza. "You are useless!" I cried at Ryan when he touched the hot baking dish. "Ow!" He yelled, waving his hand frantically. "Run it under some water you wank." I snatched his burning hand and shoved it under the tap. 

Ryan winced as the cold water ran over his hand, which was going red and blistering already. "Ahhh, Syl it HURTS!" He complained. "Well hang on. You have to leave it under there for a bit. I'll get you a chair so you can sit." I came back a couple seconds later with a stool. "Sit." I barked, and Ryan obeyed like a loyal dog. "Now, where do you keep bandaids?" Ryan pointed with his good hand to a cupboard under the sink. 

I rummaged through it until I found a packet of bandaids. As I stood up, I remembered the time I burnt my hand, and Frank had to look after me, and how I was doing the same for Ry. The thought of Frank made me suddenly sick, but I ignored it and took Ryan's hand out from the sink and gently wrapped a bandaid around his finger. The rest of Ryan's hand was fine, just a bit hot. 

"There. You'll survive." I said, proud of my work. "I doubt it. Can you cut my hand off? It would probably hurt less." Ryan complained. "Oh shush you baby. I've burnt myself a trillion times, and I'm okay." Ryan gave me a look and I tried really hard not to hit him. "What are you implying Mister Ross?" I asked, crossing my arms. "Nothing Mrs Ross." I punched him in the arm.

"OWW! BACK OFF I'M ALREADY IN PAIN!" Ryan squealed like a baby pig mixed with a prissy five year old. "Oh my god. What do you want me to do?" I asked. "Uh, not punching me would be a GREAT start." Ryan replied sassily. "Watch out or I'll come back for round two." I said, equally sassy. 

{ time skip }

"Ouch." I sighed and raised my eyes to heaven. "There's no way your finger still hur - OW!" I said before Ryan poked my bruise. "There's no way your eye still hurts." Ryan laughed. "Fuck off you cow." I stuck my tongue out at him, and he grabbed it with his good hand. "Ew what the fuck? Don't touch my tongue you fuckboy." Ry grinned. "I'll do worse than touch it. Okay sorry that was horrible to even think about WHY DID I SAY THAT!?" He said, cringing over his own words. 

"I don't bloody know!" I replied. "Hey." He said after a couple seconds. I raised my eyebrows at him. "Hey Sylv, my lips hurt a little." He said smiling. "Yeah, and?" I replied. "Well, I was wondering if you could kiss them better." I sat there, mouth hanging open like a fish, unblinking and dead. "It wasn't that bad. Was it?" Ryan asked nervously. "It was. Really, it was." 

"Well I liked it." Ryan said proudly. "You really think that was a good pick up line?" I asked, knowing full well it wasn't. "No. I think it was awesome because you're blushing." Ryan laughed. "Am not you rat!" I was. "You SO are!" Ryan said, getting up and chasing me. I ran off. "I so am NOT!" I cried, even though I so fucking was. 

I ran down the hallway as Ryan ran behind me. I darted around the corner and ran out into sunshine. Well, actually I ran into the door, fell over and then went outside. Ryan caught up with me as I bolted down his backyard. He tackled me to the ground and we went rolling down a slope, bumping into a few bushes on the way. By the end of it, I was lying on top of Ryan while he was still wrapped around my legs and waist. We were both covered in grass and dirt, and laughing our heads off. 

I fell off Ryan and laid in the grass, next to him. He found my hand and took it, squeezing it occasionally. At that moment I felt happy. No, more than that. I felt content. Like everything in life was okay. Well, maybe not everything. But most things. I turned my head to face Ry, and he did the same. 

Ryan smiled at me, and I smiled back. Suddenly, I sat up and let go of Ryan's hand. He followed me as I raced inside. "Hey hey, what's wrong?" Ryan asked, sounding worried. "No, it's nothing. I just need to be alone for a bit." I ran off and grabbed my things from Ryan's room and rushed out the door. I couldn't get out of there fast enough.

Ryan followed me down the stairs, and as he started asking me questions, I realized I had no way home. I stopped and turned back. "Hey, um. Can you drive me home? I, need to go back and my way home is, kinda through you." I asked Ryan, putting on th sweetest, most polite voice I could muster. 

Ryan sighed. "Fine. As long as you tell me what's going on." I thought about it. "I don't how but I might." I replied. 

We got into Ry's care and he started it up. "So, what's this all about? If it's about me hurting you, then I'm so sorry. If it's for anything I'm so sorry." He started apologizing. I put my hand on his shoulder. "It's okay, it's okay. I just need to ask Frank something very important." Ryan pulled out of his garage, and we were off. "But first I need to ask you something." Ryan was shocked, but said nothing.

"What's going on?" He asked. I hesitated for a second. "Are we, dating or what?" I asked very subtly. "Of course we are! Wait, are we?" Ryan replied. "Please, yes." I said. "Okay. We're dating then. Why are you asking?" I didn't reply. 

We arrived at the apartment complex and I undid my seatbelt. "Can you wait here? I'll be back, I promise. Love you." I kissed Ry quickly goodbye before opening the passenger door and waving to him as I awkwardly ran off. 

"Frank! Frank!!?" I called out, walking into our apartment. Frank came running and nearly knocked me over. "Hey, Sylvie. What's up?" I gasped for breath after dashing up the stairs. "I think I want to marry Ryan." I blurted out. "What!?" Frank cried. "I think I -" I repeated but Frank interrupted me. "No I heard you I'm just shocked. You want to marry Ryan? Are you two even dating again!?" 

"Yes, we are. Since like half an hour ago. Frank please. You have to help me. What would you do?" I begged, desperate for some help. "I DON'T KNOW!? ASK LITERALLY ANYONE BUT ME!" Frank cried out. I sighed and felt suddenly depressed. "Okay, well bye Frank." I said sadly, leaving and shutting the door behind me.