Before you go

Chapter Five

Fa'iza Mubarak Hakimi.

I had a nightmare last night, that Ruqayya died. And when I woke up this morning, she was sneaking cold yogurt into her room. I caught her red-handed and all she did was smile at me and bolt into her room when she heard Ummi's voice.

I don't even know why I care about her sometimes. She obviously doesn't care about herself, so why should I even bother?

Maybe it's because I've grown to consider her a sister more than a cousin. And sisters care about each other, right?

"Mama na? Ina ta miki magana." Ummi's voice drags me out of my train of thoughts and my blurring vision clears as I look at her.

"Na'am?" She and Abba share a look before she turns to me with a small comforting smile. I don't feel comforted, not in the least bit. Not when the source of my problems is sitting beside me, looking at the man in front of her from time to time, and eating like she isn't risking her life with those two ice cubes in her juice.

"Lafiya?" I nod, managing a smile I fail at. I simply drop my head back to my plate, fork playing around with my chips.

Before I can control my mouth, I say something.

"Ruqayya sneaked cold yogurt up to her room very early this morning." I hear Ruqayya's dramatic gasp beside me, like I just said she is a drama student, and not an English student. It's an inside joke a lot of people won't get but it's not the point here.

I dare not look at Ruqayya, knowing she's going to give me on her famous disgusted looks.

"Ke Ruqayya bakya jiran kanki koh?" Abba says with a deep frown. Ummi looks at me like I just spilled her two decades old secret. Didn't she tell Abba about Ruqayya's attack yesterday?

"Abba, I don't know what Fa'iza is talking about fah. Tun jiya ni na rasa meye hakan take yi." I almost scoff, but that's too much drama so I look up to Ummi who has also started playing with her food.

"Dan tana fada miki gaskiya? You don't care about your health, you're starting to get by just fine, how long has it been since you had an attack? Almost seven months fah, and then you take cold yogurt early in the morning? I was even talking with your doctor just last week, yace you don't need another oxygen therapy. And then you go and do this?" Again, I can't seem to keep my mouth shut.

"She had an attack yesterday. She even coughed up blood again, twice." Abba looks at Ummi, as though to say "what the hell is she talking about?" but she ignores his gaze, focusing on her food rather.

"Au, shikenan toh ai. Tunda bata son kanta you can't love her for her. Let her be. Koh meye taga dama tayi. I won't pay for any more antibiotics or any oxygen therapy. Idan lokacin tafiyan ta yayi bah shikenan bah? Sai muyi ta mata addu'a kawai." Abba hisses and stands up, taking his phone with him.

Ummi takes his barely touched plate with her, not even sparing me a glance. Ruqayya too stands up, loudly if I might add, and leaves the room. But not before making a loud move of taking more ice cubes and dumping them in her juice, as though to tell me off.

I don't even bother to stand up, not with the headache starting to form from every crevice in my small head. I finally look at the two men across from me, my eyes catching BK's. I quickly avert my gaze and stand up too, deciding I need a break from reality.

I can't seem to concentrate on the book in my hand. My head keeps drifting to Ruqayya. I saw the gate man receive a package, and he brought it to me, thinking it was mine. It was frozen yogo fruity. When I told him it wasn't mine, he went inside with it and didn't come back out with it.