Chapter 9

299 6 0
                                    

~

'In the end, only three things matter: how much you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.'

~

"Have you ever done something that you knew was wrong?"

"You know I have, why do you ask?" It's not like I can tell her why I'm asking. That would only do what I'm trying to avoid. I want to tell her. I think she would help. But she would also be disappointed in me, I'm sure of it. Ever since I joined this team, Natasha has become a sort of mother figure towards me. At first, it was had to fit in with a team where everyone was so much older than me, I didn't know what to say to them. Yet she took me under her wings and looked after me more than once. She was the first person who I could really trust and the first person I spoke to about Peter. "There's this thing, a sort of Pandora's box. If I open it, people are going to get hurt."

"So don't open it."

"I don't think it's as simple as that." But it could have been as simple as that. There were so many chances to stop this. I've been trying to stop myself from opening the box. From letting anything between Wanda and me from happening, but I fear the box opened a long time ago. 

"Y/N, if something is going on you can tell me about it." As if she knew that I was about to tell Natasha everything, Wanda walks up to us. "Hey guys, what are we talking about?"

"Oh, nothing." All of this lying is becoming exhausting. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up.

"I'll leave you girls to it," Natasha smiles. There's something about the way Natasha says, it's as if she knows something. I'm probably being paranoid. There's no way she could know, right? It's not like she's trained to read body language.

"You can't tell her, Y/N."

"I just need to talk about this to someone."

"Then talk to me. Believe me, I would happily tell everyone about this, whatever this is, but I haven't because you want to protect Peter's feelings." I'm not the one who can read minds but I'm also not oblivious. I hear the change in her voice when she mentions Peter. It takes me a moment to realise that it isn't jealousy. It's sadness with a touch of concern. Keeping this a secret, trying not to hurt his feelings, is just making things worse. Is that really true? No, it can't be. I feel the knot in my stomach tighten. 

"If you have something to say, Wanda, then say it. If not, just leave me alone." I walk past her and she grabs my arm, stopping me. I can feel her looking at me, trying to think of something to say, but I don't return her gaze. Instead, I watch the floor, trying to fight back tears.

I walk into my bedroom and a few tears that I couldn't stop stain my face. I expected to be alone but when I opened the door, I found Peter sitting on the bed. "Oh, Y/N," he mumbles before wrapping his arms around my body and pulling me close. I rest my hand on his chest and listen to his heartbeat. For so long it's been a source of comfort but now, the more I listen, the harder it becomes to control my breathing.

"Is she okay?" I hear her before I see her and, although it's not something I want to admit, her presence allows for some relief to flow through me. 

"Now isn't really the time, Wanda."

"Right. If you need anything, I'll be in my room."

"Wait." I don't want Peter. I don't want Wanda. I don't want either of them. I want both of them. I want to be alone. Who am I kidding? I don't know what I want. I lift my head from Peter's chest and look at Wanda. Her expression is so soft.

"I," I begin, "I'm sorry." They're both looking at me, each wondering what I'll say next. I know Wanda thinks I'm about to reveal everything and I think, for a second, I was. But every time I look into Peter's eyes I remember why I haven't said anything. I know what to do now. It shouldn't have taken me this long to figure it out but there's nothing I can do about that now. 

"Wanda, I wasn't fair to you and I'm sorry. I'll come and see you later, explain everything." I can't tell if she knows what I mean exactly or not but I can't say anything else with Peter here. 

A/N:
Quote: Buddha.

The Attraction - Wanda Maximoff x ReaderWhere stories live. Discover now