Chapter 18

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'I will choose you, even when you make me mad. My love for you won't fade simply because we are angry. I know we will fight, we will be frustrated, we will be human. Still, I will go to battle for you. Still, I will choose you. I will choose you. And keep choosing you, every single day.'

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"Hey," Wanda smiles as I walk into my room. Most days I would be glad to see her but not today. Having spent all day lugging around boxes that needed to be brought to the tower and then taking more boxes from the tower to wherever they needed to be, and replaying our earlier conversation in my head, all I want to do it go to sleep. "Could you put some music on?" I ask, not fussed as to what kind. 

"Later, we need to talk first."

"Okay, go ahead," I say, admitting defeat. I can't escape this.

"As much as I want people to know about us, I promised Peter nothing else would happen." Peter? What is she talking about? Does this mean he knew about us? "I don't understand," I tell her, "when did you promise him anything?"

"It was the day before we went on that mission."

The day he left.

"Wanda, are you telling me that the two of you spoke, he left, and neither one of you thought to tell me anything?" I feel the anger in me rise. She comforted me, and held me as I cried, all whilst keeping this from me. She promised everything would be fine despite knowing how badly I hurt him. She let me get in her shower, and kiss her body whilst simultaneously lying to me. Oh, and I left her touch me in ways only Peter ever had. How could she do this to me? And how was I so blind, so stupid, that I couldn't see what she was like? "I thought he would come back. I'm sorry, Y/N."

"That is such bullshit," I laugh, "you should have told me."

She grabs my arm but I pull away. "Calm down and we'll talk."

"Get out."

"Y/N-"

"No. Get the fuck out of my room." Wanda keeps her eyes on me, waiting for me to apologise. Eventually, she realises I have nothing else to say and leaves, barging past Natasha.

"Hey, I heard shouting. Is everything okay?" Natasha questions, shutting the door behind me. As my anger begins to reveal itself as hurt, I weakly shake my head. No. I'm not okay. I'm so far from okay. I've made a mess of everything. "Come here," she whispers, opening her arms. I let my body fall into hers, practically begging for the pain to stop. I never wanted any of this. I wish I could take it all back yet, if I could, I wouldn't go back and change anything. "What do I do now?" 

"Y/N, of course, I don't think the two of you should have done anything when you were still with Peter. That being said, I've seen first-hand how happy she makes you. I don't know what the two of you were arguing about but I do think you'd be foolish to throw everything away so soon." I nod my head, taking in her words. She's right. I'm not ready to lose Wanda. But I'm also not ready to talk to her. I hold on tighter to Natasha, making sure she knows not to let go. "I'm here."

Natasha leaves after a few hours and I'm left alone. Unable to sleep, I make my way to the rooftop. Nearly no one ever comes here so, over the years, it's become like my sanctuary. 

However, when I get outside I'm surprised to find Wanda already there. What I need is to be left alone but when she turns to look at me, and I see her glassy eyes, I know I can't leave her. "I can leave, if you want," she offers.

"No, stay."

We sit in awkward silence for a while before I realise she's getting cold. Without saying anything, I shuffle over to her, not sure if it's okay for me to hug her. 

"I really am sorry. I wanted to tell you, I just didn't know how," she apologises, looking down at her hands as she fiddles with her rings. 

"I know. I just-"

"You were hurt." 

I nod my head. Yes, I was hurt. I take her hand in mine, tangling our fingers together and then kissing it. "Wanda, you're freezing. Come on, let's go inside."

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