Could this actually be love?

Self-Doubt and Self-hatred

TW: Self harm, Self-Doubt, Self-hatred and over thinking and hyperinflation! ⚠
____________________________________Denise finally woke up, she gets off the floor and stands up as she walks over to her bed and lays down in it.

As Denise lay in her bed, her mind raced with thoughts of self-doubt.

She wondered what she had done to deserve her father's rage.

Was she not good enough?
Was she not pretty enough?
Was she not smart enough?
Was she not doing enough?

She couldn't shake the nagging feeling that she was somehow to blame for what had happened.

As the hours ticked by, Denise's self-doubt turned into self-hatred.

She couldn't stand the sight of herself in the mirror.

She felt like a failure, like she had let everyone down.

She wished she could disappear, crawl into a hole somewhere and never come out.

Denise went into the bathroom to wash her face, hoping the cool water would help ease her anxiety.

But as she looked in the mirror, she didn't recognize the girl staring back at her.

She felt like a shell of her former self, like she was barely holding on.

Suddenly, Denise's breathing became shallow and rapid.

She felt her heart racing in her chest, and she could feel sweat beading on her forehead.

She collapsed to the floor, feeling like the world was spinning out of control.

Denise's thoughts became jumbled and confusing. She couldn't make sense of anything, and she felt like she was losing her grip on reality.

She started to hyperventilate, feeling like she couldn't catch her breath.

For what felt like hours, Denise lay on the bathroom floor, unable to move or think clearly. Eventually, her breathing slowed, and she was able to calm down.

But then Denise started hearing voices.

The voices Denise was hearing sounded a lot like her mom and dad telling her how worthless she is and that she would never get anywhere or that no one loved her.

Denise couldn't handle all this anymore and got up and looked for a sharp object and then she found a razor blade she grabbed it and rolled up her sleeves.

Slowly she reached for her skin with the razor blade.

Then she pressed it down and started cutting..

And she knows she shouldn't be doing this at all but it felt so right.

She wanted to hurt herself more then her ex boyfriend's, bullies and parents did.

But it wasn't enough to erase the feeling in her heart after being hurt..

She still kept going making herself bleeding even more cause the physical pain made her forget everything in just one second.

When she was done, she felt her arms fall down with the razor blade still in her hand.

Then she wiped the blood on the floor and her arms, then felt her eyes grow heavy so she went back to her room and lays down on her bed and falls asleep.