Scara becomes a scholar...? [Genshin Impact Crackfic]

[3] - Scara hates roommates

hi <33 this chapter is actually my fave so far. its the chapter author posted after disappearing for 2 months and i think i notice a change in how they word stuff like it got better but maybe thats just me.. (i mean it's still very similar to how they write)

p.s. this is the latest chapter they updated </3 so we're gonna have to wait for a while for a new one, yall </3

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Wanderer squinted his eyes suspiciously at the figure ahead. There in the middle of the desert was a blond-haired, bird-looking man. He had a briefcase in one hand and a pile of paper in the other. He was facing the monuments while deep in thought; sitting criss-cross, except one of his knees was up, if that made sense.

The man whipped his head his way; orange eyes set on his blue ones, the hand holding the briefcase now pointed directly at him, "You."

"Me." Wanderer mused curiously.

The blond stood up and speed-walked towards him. Once he was sufficiently close to him, the man propelled the papers from his hand towards his face. Wanderer's fight or flight response was activated by the sudden movement, and it took a lot of effort to stop himself from kicking the man away while pilo-erecting like a scared cat.

"Would this make a good house?" The man asked. Wanderer looked at the intricate drawing on the paper. He hummed in acknowledgement at the man's commendable art skill before pausing for a few seconds and roughly grabbing the paper, scanning the drawing more thoroughly.

"...This is a drawing of a banana." Wanderer deadpanned. Kshahrewar Darshan students, I swear.

Dorian McFish, Wanderer's bird friend, stared at the drawings for a few moments before nodding approvingly at the mere sight of food. They did a little wing flap while they were on top of Wanderer's hat and nodded.

"Yikes, wrong one." The man handed him another piece of paper. "That's for tonight's dinner. It's my turn in the kitchen today so I was thinking about what I should cook. I'm not that great of a chef, you see, and my roommate's kind of picky. I remember there was this one time—"

"Woah, woah, woah." Wanderer halted the man. "I did not ask for your whole backstory, Goldie—wait, hold on, are you just serving bananas for dinner?" (Dorian McFish chirped at the mention of food.)

The blond scholar was silent for a moment. He looked at Wanderer dead straight in the eyes; a serious, chilly look on his face. He pointed one of his fingers up, his mouth open like he's about to say something. Before Wanderer could process what was happening, the blondie took off, dust comically forming behind him as he ran to the horizon.

Wanderer looked at the paper the scholar left in his hands. It was an illustration of a cartoonish sailor school girl with long, blond hair in a twin-tail updo. The girl was wearing a businessman outfit while holding a sign that says "Guardian of Love and Justice, turned into a Real Estate Agent''.

"....???"

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Dinner went by as usual: Wanderer borrows someone's kitchen, he cooks food, Nahida sets the "table" (and by table he meant the sole elevated platform in the sanctuary Nahida resides in), they eat, talk about their day, then Wanderer sets off for the night.

There was a bar he frequented after his and Nahida's nightly dinner hang-outs; that's where he does a drinking ritual, of some sorts. Well, if you consider drowning himself in gallons of bitter tea as "drinking", then sure. Nahida once referred to him as a vehicle who needed gas (aka tea) to function.

Since he was going to a bar, he sternly told Dorian McFish to stay in his robes for their safety. Drunkards can be unreasonable beings, and he didn't want his tiny companion to get hurt.