chapter one

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So this is how it is supposed to happen is it? Or should I say end. With me just laying here feeling dead to the world. Not being able to move, like I'm a scarecrow meant to just stay in one place and look scary. As if I'm made of hard rock. Everything around me is completely white, the walls are so clean, I could probably see the reflection of my cast in them. Well I guess this is what heaven is like although I'd rather be in there then here right now, because being fed through a tube isn't the most enjoyable thing. Its quite depressing to just lay here and do nothing like I'm a guy, I should be out playing football or talking to girls.

The only human contact I get Is my mum who comes in everyday. She doesn't think I can hear her but I can, she's always crying and saying its all her fault but it isn't its more my fault then anyones. She's not the one to blame, but I feel sorry for her because I can't even reply when she talks to me because I'm too ashamed to speak.
Inside I break down and cry but I can't show any emotion on the out side because I know if I cry my mother would never stop crying and I don't want to see that I want my mother happy that's all everyone wants.

A woman walks towards me with a tray of food, bags of packet food. All of this food I can't even eat without it being liquidized and put into a tube. Her hair beautiful and brown but always in a bun, her makeup seemed a little rushed today but I think it's ok , I can tell she's tried even through her smile, her shirt looks nice today it's a blue button down with a bright white collar, her blue leggings matched her shirt. She's nice she reminds me of my mother before all this happened, before all this changed everything. Before I was this stick like person never to be able to move again. (Well I know I never will but the nurses say I will).

All because of my step dad Renny Evans the guy who made me like this, the guy who basically tried to kill me and took my life away and caused me to be like this and the way I am today.

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