CARDIGAN

14 Pain under the blanket

The breeze brushed Haziq's silky hair. His hair grew longer that his fringe was poking his eyes subtly. Haziq leaned on the balcony's fence, spacing out on the spectacular view of the sunrise between mountains which could be seen although it was 20 km away. A remedy living in a partial suburbs.

Yasmin tiptoed, poking his waist with her fingers. Haziq flinched, awoken from his thought. Yasmin giggled, amused of his reaction.

Haziq: Sayang ni, terkejut abang.

Yasmin: sekali sekala.. asyik abang je usik saya.

Haziq chuckled, turned her around guiding her into the house.

Yasmin: Abang ni.. Yas tak nak masuk lagi.

Haziq: Kat luar ni sejuk sayang, masuk angin nanti. Awak tu belum sihat.

Yasmin: Abang.. dah lama abang tak kiss Yas. Yas busuk eh?

Haziq snorted a laugh.

Yasmin: Betul la tu, saya busuk..

Haziq carresed her cheeks.

Haziq: Mana ada.. wangi la.

He kissed her right cheek.

Haziq: Bau syurga..

Yasmin blushed. They had just celebrated their 7th wedding anniversary but Haziq still has his own way to make her acted like a little girl infront of him. Although she's a mum of 5 now.

Haziq took a compilation quotes book from the shelf. He handed the book to her and lied down on her lap. It was the only time that they could be romantic as the kids were still sleeping. If not, they will be fighting with each other to lie down on Yasmin's lap pushing Haziq away.

" The minute I heard my first love story, I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was.
Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.

What you seek is seeking you – Rumi

Yasmin recited the quote as Haziq scanned her diamond eyes.

Haziq: I'm not your first love sayang. You are.. you are the person who should love yourself first.

Yasmin frowned, confused on his comment.

Yasmin: Tak faham..

Haziq lifted his body and sit up straight.

Haziq: Be selfish. Jangan asyik fikir abang dengan anak-anak. Fulfill your needs and desire. Sayang nak pergi me time, cakap je abang arrange my time. Tapi bukan sekarang la..

Yasmin slicked his fringe that covered his eyes backwards. She put her index finger on his lips, shushing him coyly. An eyebrow of him raised, questioning her.

Yasmin: Yas nak abang je dengan anak-anak. I don't need anything else.

The downy finger of her had been pushed away by him warmly. Haziq held her hand dearly. His sharp yet warm gaze glued on her again.

Haziq: Sayang.. Medina cukup kan?

Yasmin: huh?

Haziq: Awak nak anak kita ramai sebab awak nak tutup the absence of Mia kan?

Yasmin let go of his hand, denying the  fact that she had been hiding from him.

Yasmin: Mana ada!

He tilted her face, forcing her to look into his eyes directly. Haziq's eyes trying to persuade the pain under the blanket to reveal themselves.

Haziq: Firasat saya tak pernah salah Yasmin. Saya tengok muka awak, saya dah tahu sayang. Dari kita kawan dulu sampai sekarang dah dekat 20 tahun. I knew you sayang. Dah lama saya perasan but I didn't want to say it out loud.

Haziq could never be denied was made for Yasmin. His guts were always right when it's about Yasmin. No matter how hard she tried to hide from him. Even when Yasmin was pregnant, he would be the first person to recognise it without Yasmin knowing about it yet.

A bullet hit her again. No! She didn't want to reveal her feelings although she had been caught. Unlike the times where she would always lost by spilling everything to him before. It's not only regarding Haziq but more on the guilt towards her late daughter. She couldn't keep her promise to be happy and move on with her life like it was used to be.

Yasmin left the bed and hurried carrying Medina although she was still fast asleep. Haziq let her be, worried on her health. She was still recovering, and needed to be emotionally stable.

Yasmin put the baby back on her bed, she took their old album during university years and sat on the couch.

Yasmin: Abang.. sini la!

She patted her lap, asking him to lie down again trying to break the ice.
Haziq obeyed her request. As they were flipping through the album, a picture of them in a similar situation. The difference is Haziq was not lying on her lap but on the cafe table.

Haziq who had been gloomy, snorted a laugh. He agreed, remembered that he used to ask for Yasmin help whenever they had a test. Just for the sake of asking her to explain the lesson. At that time, Haziq will squish in and listen to her lecturing.

Surprisingly, Rykarl had never seen Haziq lift a finger, flipping through the books like him. He just absorbed everything in class. Of course, he's the best student in the department.

During their university years, Rykarl and Yasmin were in the same Human Resource department differ from Marwan, Haziq, Noah and Fahim who was in the Architecture Engineering department but they do have the same class for core university subjects.

The story of how they became good friends was when they were assigned to the same assignment group. Haziq and Noah were playing around, did not complete their work on time.

Yasmin: AKU PENATLA MACAM NI! KORANG INGAT AKU ADA MASA NAK TUNGGU KORANG? AKU ADA ADIK NAK JAGA, MAK AYAH DAH TAKDE. BAIK MATI JELA AKU NI DAH TAKDE ORANG KISAH PASAL AKU!

Yasmin blurted out everything that she had kept inside and drenched in tears. Haziq and Noah felt very guilty that they at the end pour all their heart in the assignment project that they received an A+ for that subject.

Haziq had never leave her alone after that time, worried that she really meant by what she had said. He deliberately forced Yasmin to read his books for him, he listened attentively while scrumptiously eating his lunch. He bought another for Yasmin. After she read the book, he waited for her to eat by lying his head on the cafe table.

The moments which made his heart fluttered whenever he listened to her. She was just reading but it feels like a music in his ears. He was addicted to her voice. He had gave her hints but she never respond seriously.