"And I could feel my mind slipping away from you and needing, craving to kill because that was all I had left. Your memories and the bracelet wasn't enough. Nothing was enough...So I threw myself into the ocean in hopes to get to the bottom. At tha...
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From top left to bottom right: Veronica, Michael, Lizzy, Jacob, chapter 16 + 17 track list, and Alice.
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Veronica descends the stairs beneath the church, the bass of the music growing louder and more intense. She reaches the bottom and is immediately hit by the overwhelming noise, smell, and darkness of the club. However, as she walks towards the center, neon lights of every color flash in alignment with the beat, casting a distorted glow over the dance floor.
The club was large, able to accommodate more than 200 people, but the lack of windows and darkness made Veronica feel claustrophobic. The music was a mix of industrial and electronic beats that pulsed through her body. Despite the dark, Veronica can see the outlines of people on the dance floor, lost in the rhythm of melodies.
[Pain by Boy Harsher plays.]
She clutches her stomach and takes a deep breath, steadying herself knowing she had to push past her anxiety and enjoy the night. Her therapist had assured her that the new medication would help, but she wasn't so sure. At the last minute, Veronica had to pick up a four-hour shift at the bakery making her late to arrive at the party two hours later.
She tries to focus on the music, letting it guide her movements deeper into the party. She makes her way to the bar, squeezing past couples and dodging dancers.
"Why do you think they're keeping something from you?" the words from her therapy session are loud in her head without noise as she spots what's in front of her.
Veronica close: her eyes and focuses on her breathing, trying to calm the rising panic inside of her. When she opens them again, she sees Michael and Lizzy at the bar, chatting and laughing together more intimately than she would have liked. Frozen, she continues to observe them, slowly shrinking into the center of herself, collapsing with every second of watching them. Tears threaten to hit her face.
Both her regrets eye each other affectionately, their bodies illuminated by the flashing lights. They eye one another as if Veronica never existed for them at all. It was high school all over again, with her too cowardly to move. Too cowardly to even get angry. Veronica wants to walk over there, but she doesn't know what she should do. She didn't even understand why she was angry. Was she angry?
