The yesterdays that were mine

Hold My Hand As Our Home Burns Down

She wasn't sure how long she had been in there, smushed against filth and the smell of actual rubbish and bleach but it was long enough for her to start pleading, begging whatever might maybe have been on the other side of the door to let her out. Her knuckles stung from where the bone met the raw face of the door, and her lungs had then felt like they were coated in cement. Her chest cracked down into the hardened shell and it pierced her as she called out for someone to save her.

It could have been seconds, or minutes or years, but the cold cold relief of salvation washed over her bones when the door finally opened, and she felt herself spew out the door, scrambling on her hands and knees. She felt someone's arms, and some piece of her thought it was Hanma, so she looked up to be able to shove him away. But she looked up and into the boy who had stolen her secrets.

"Kazutora," she breathed, her sticky cheeks tacking when her face moved.

"Hey Nana" He said, but it was different now. He was different now. She looked across his features, his tattoos and hair and face that had matured greatly.

"I'm so glad you're alive," Nana fell into him suddenly, clutching onto his jacket, his...jacket. It was grey, it was a Valhalla jacket. She ignored it and melted into him, holding him as if he was air and she was suffocating.

There are two simple truths about Nana Komore. The first one being that she liked to abide by things. And the second one...was that Nana was sad and lonely. She was broken, a moth reaching out in the dark for light. So she took, through her fuzzy lens of reality, Kazutora's glimmering pale skin as the sun. but there is something about reality, and that is that it's a preconceived perception.

"You're an idiot" Nana heard him say, and she pulled up immediately, swearing she must have heard him wrong.

"What?" The word left her like a puff of air, some desperate plea.

"You missed me?" With each of his words, he seemed to be growing in front of her, amassing over her, flooding into her. Her heart felt like it was being torn from her open ribcage, and her eyes started to swell with tears. "You're pathetic, Nana, really...You think I've forgiven you?"

"Forgiven me?" with a shaking hand she reached out for him, for the sun. It was that moment she realised that her Kazutora, the boy who found her in the dark, did not exist anymore. Nana knew what he had done, and that is his debt to repay.

Nana stares up at him dumbfounded, and she watches his face ripple through his emotions until the same look he gave her that night remained. The next moments went in slow motion.

"God, don't fucking look at me like that!"  His tone echoed into her chest, compressing her. As if by lighting, Kazutora's hand made contact with Nana's face, and the force was enough to both collapse her onto the floor and shatter what was left of her heart. She stared down into the stained carpet after that, all of her deepest memories coming back to her, white hot and suffocating.

Kazutora stood up over her, wiping his hand over the underside of his nose. "As if you dont have a fucking clue what you did"

"You wanna know what i learnt, Nana? Huh?" She doesn't respond. "fucking answer me!" His voice rattled down to her bones.

"I learnt that you, Little miss Komore, you and Manjiro Sano, you're the ones who turned me into a monster." his head falls into her collarbone, and her stuttering breaths bobbed his head on her skin. "I loved you too, Nana...did you know that?"

Sobs wracked her entire body after he said that. It was because Nana was broken that she loved him too, still, even after everything she still loved him. But something's gotta mend, and something did. Nana had rebuilt herself after everything, and she did it by herself, for herself. So whats why, through her stupor of sobbing, blood loss, and that gouging hole where her heart used to be, she could say;