You Stole My Breath (YSMB)

Hesitation

Rachael's Point of View: 

"What did you say, Hannah?" I inquire, slightly puzzled. I shake my head in disbelief while keeping my gaze fixed on her. She slightly tilts her head to the side, and she offers me a clenched half-smile. There's a hint of pity in her eyes as she gazes at me. 

"Look, baby, I just want you to be safe, okay? I- I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you," she says with regret and adds, "I know you want to go home alone without me, but I want to be with you. You had a panic attack and I was worried about you. I was stressed and fear that something had happened. When Samantha texted me that you had a panic attack, I got stressed."

As my mind becomes clouded with thoughts, I release a heavy sigh. I shift my gaze away and head towards the passenger side, where I buckle myself in. Hannah takes the driver's seat and starts the car. Before driving, she turns to me and softly utters, "I apologize, baby."

"Just drive me home," I say, looking out the window and avoiding her. 

Why did she yell at me? I just want some time alone. Am I not giving her what she wants? I understand that she wants to make sure that I am okay, but I want some time alone. I want to process my thoughts about what happened and what happened earlier with Samantha. 

As I glance towards Hannah, she keeps her eyes fixed on the road and her hand rests gently on my thigh. Emotions overwhelm me, and a tear escapes my eye, trickling down my cheek. I struggle to contain my feelings, biting my inner cheek to stifle any sound. The tightness in my chest makes it hard to breathe. I try to stop the tears by blinking my eyes several times. Then, I tilt my head up, clench my jaw and let out a sigh.

As we arrive at my house, Hannah switches off the car engine. I make sure to keep my face turned away from her, not wanting to reveal the tears streaming down my face. 

"Baby," she whispers, breaking the silence. "Could you please turn and look at me?"

I am currently sitting with my body turned away from her, holding myself tightly. I try my best to hold back the tears that won't stop flowing.

I shook my head.

"Baby..." she whispered once more. I felt her hand on my shoulder, urging me to turn and face her. With a gentle touch, she guided me to face her, and though initially hesitant, I finally gave in and met her gaze.

Hannah appears puzzled as she gazes at me. Gradually, her lips curve into a smile, and her eyebrow arches. "Why are you crying? I apologized already, baby. I'm sorry for yelling at you. So, why are you crying about it?" 

"I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed," I quickly stated, unbuckling myself and stepping out of the car. After taking a deep breath of the fresh air, I began walking towards the house with Hannah following closely behind. After entering the house, I hung up both of our jackets and proceeded to lead the way upstairs to my room. The silence suggested that my mother was not present, Abigail was at school, and my father was at work.

"I'll take a shower," I say quietly, gathering my towel and robe. Suddenly, Hannah approaches from behind and embraces me, wrapping her arms around my waist and placing her head on my shoulder. I notice her breath on my neck and recognize her intention. Soon, gentle kisses land on my neck and behind my ear. No doubt that she was trying to turn me on, but I wasn't interested. 

I turn around in her arms and start pushing her away by her shoulders, "Not now, Hannah, I want to take a shower." 

"Okay, fine, make it quick," she says in an annoyed tone. I sigh and head to the bathroom, making sure to bring my phone with me. After locking the door, I drop my towel and robe on the floor and close my eyes, slowly sinking to the ground. Not bothering to turn on the light, I let the darkness absorb me.