MELANCHOLY [S.T. B. Hargrove]

43

EIGHT MONTHS LATER

"Shit," I curse, jerking the gear back. "Come on.."

The car squeals to a stop as I fight to park it.

I huff and turn the engine off, resting my head on the steering wheel.

I can do this.

I could so do this.

I rest back in my seat and stare up at the roof of the car.

"Oh, shit," I mutter.

The headliner was starting to droop again. I push the fabric up, squishing it against the roof. It just bubbles right back down.

"Goddammit."

Okay. Racquel.. you got this.

I pick my backup up out of the passenger seat and step out of the car. Pushing the dor shut, I pat the car.

"Be good," I tell Billy's car.

I strap the backpack around one of my shoulders and walk to Hawkins High.

I could already feel people staring at me. Whispering.

"That's Racquel.. Billy Hargrove's girlfriend.."

I pull my lips into a tight line, forcing myself to keep walking.

"Didn't she just get out of the hospital for trying to kill herself?"

Nausea.

I bow my head and continue walking.

"Billy. Billy Hargrove.."

"She looks like shit.."

"Freak.."

"Billy's girlfriend.."

"Is she sick?"

"I bet she was in the crazy house.."

"Billy.."

"I heard she's a schizo.."

"Did she drive Billy's car here?"

I slam the door open to the bathroom and close it behind me. I lock it and rush into a stall, crouching on the floor.

I hide my head between my knees and throw my arms over myself. I cry as silently as I could manage.

--

I keep my hood over my head and glasses on my face as I walk into the gym.

"Rocky?" Mike asks.

"Hey, bud," I greet, patting his back.

"I didn't know you were coming back today," he says, wrapping his arm around my waist.

"Might as well," I shrug. "Where's Dustin and Max?"

"He's already at our seats. Do you want to sit with us? Max hasn't showed yet."

"Sure," I accept.

Mike helps me through the bleachers and Dustin grins when he sees me.

"Rocky," Dustin giggles, pulling me into a hug the second I sit between him and Will.

"Hey, dude," I say with a soft smile.

"You're back already," Dustin notes.

I sniffle through my runny nose.

"Are you sure you're ready?" Dustin asks.

"I'm fine, you guys," I promise.

"I meant the pep rally," Dustin explains. "You know Jason is gonna talk shit."